Xiao Chan’s voice was faint as a mosquito’s hum, but in the quiet stillness, Ning Yi could still make it out clearly. He thought it over briefly. Xiao Chan twisted at the hem of her garment, her face flushed with embarrassment.

“That… that… my brother and sister-in-law… they didn’t prepare a room for Xiao Chan, they… they…” She bit her lower lip, sneaking a glance at Ning Yi, then suddenly took a deep breath. “And, and Young Mistress said… said Xiao Chan should attend to young master…”

“Hm?”

Xiao Chan’s words had started out quick, then trailed off into a near-whisper by the end, her small face flushed bright red, her body swaying slightly — it seemed she might faint if she kept holding her breath like this. Ning Yi smiled faintly and reached out, taking her left hand; her fingers felt stiff, yet also soft and without strength. In the lamplit room, the girl sat down gently on the edge of the bed, looking somewhat at a loss. Ning Yi held her hand, and once she’d settled a little, finally spoke.

“Xiao Chan… is this something you want too?”

“Mm.” Xiao Chan nodded quickly, looking at Ning Yi and nodding several more times. “Young master… is a good man, good to Xiao Chan, good to Young Mistress too, so, so… and besides, Xiao Chan was always meant to become a bedchamber maid anyway…”

Hearing her answer, Ning Yi smiled after a moment. “It’s a lifelong matter.”

His voice was low, spoken plainly, and nothing followed after. Xiao Chan sat silently on the edge of the bed for a while, then looked up at him. “It… it is a lifelong matter, isn’t it…” She said this as though it were simply a matter of course, without much hesitation in it. Ning Yi nodded, then smiled. “Well then… let me go close the window first.”

The open window faced the small courtyard, and occasional sounds drifted in from outside. Ning Yi walked over to it. In the time it took him to glance out, Xiao Chan sat there, her chest rising and falling, and she lifted her hand to undo one button of her top. Having undone it, she paused, lowering her hands and sitting as if nothing had happened, glancing up at Ning Yi again before reaching to undo the second button. By the time Ning Yi turned back around, she was already on the fourth.

The nightclothes themselves were simple, soft, meant for sleeping, with few buttons. By the time she’d undone the fifth under Ning Yi’s gaze, the garment fell open, revealing a white undergarment embroidered with lotus blossoms beneath. Xiao Chan lowered her head, pulling at her outer robe, murmuring softly, “Young master…” Her voice sounded pitiably delicate. Ning Yi brought the oil lamp closer.

“Would you rather sleep… on the inside?”

“Mm.” Xiao Chan nodded, bending down to remove her shoes and socks. As she made to climb into bed, she hesitated once more, then shyly slipped off her outer robe. For a moment, no one spoke in the room. Wearing only her undergarment and pale moon-white silk trousers, Xiao Chan folded her clothes neatly and set them on the stool at the foot of the bed, then lowered her head and crawled to the inner side of the bed, lying down — a position that meant presenting her bare back to Ning Yi. Everything about this was unfamiliar to her, and it had taken a great deal of courage to go through with it; her skin was likely flushed pink all over. She then turned over, lying stiffly, her bare, slender shoulders drawn narrow, her hands first at her sides, then folded over her undergarment, then, unsure where else to put them, she turned her head to look at Ning Yi.

Ning Yi had already removed his robe and climbed into bed. When he turned to look at her, Xiao Chan’s gaze froze for a moment before she quickly looked away, her heart pounding, waiting for whatever Ning Yi might do to her. Then Ning Yi leaned over, reached out a hand, and pulled out… a hairpin.

Xiao Chan had washed up earlier, and her damp hair had been held up with a wooden hairpin; too busy fighting off her embarrassment while undressing, she’d simply lain down like that. Now Ning Yi loosed her hair, set the pin on the stool by the bedside, and blew out the oil lamp, then lay down beside her in turn. The room held a little residual light; Ning Yi seemed somewhat stiff as he lay there, shifting slightly left, then right, occasionally turning onto his side. After a while, even he couldn’t help laughing. Xiao Chan, thoroughly flustered, asked, “Young… young master… doesn’t young master want Xiao Chan?”

Ning Yi lay there, gazing at the mosquito netting. “I just realized — you might get pregnant.”

“I— I won’t. Xiao Chan will absolutely not have a baby before Young Mistress does. I’ll take the medicine — taking the medicine will take care of it…”

At this, Xiao Chan suddenly grew alert, propping herself up and shaking her head firmly. Ning Yi sighed. “That’s exactly what worries me… taking that medicine is hard on the body, and you’re only fifteen…”

“Almost — almost sixteen…”

“Mm, taking too much of that kind of medicine causes trouble later on. You’re not to take it.” As he spoke, he reached out and pulled her back down, wrapping his arms around her small frame, then laughed to himself, murmuring, “A lifelong matter… tonight’s going to be rough, heh heh…”

This was likely the first time Xiao Chan had ever been held by a man like this, and being nearly half-undressed in just her undergarment made it all the more overwhelming — her body stiff, her mind hazy. Still, thinking “I belong to young master now, I belong to young master…” she gradually relaxed, resting against his chest, a little confused. “But, but… young master…”

“Ah… let’s just talk instead…”

“Huh?”

“Xiao Chan… did you get along well with your parents, your brother and sister-in-law?”

“…Honestly, I don’t really know.”

“Ha, how do you mean…”

“Xiao Chan only comes home once every year or two — in all the time since joining the Su household, put together it’s probably only been ten-some days total… but they are Xiao Chan’s family, after all…”

“Mm, of course… Does Xiao Chan think it was wrong of them to sell you?”

“No, not at all. If they hadn’t sold me, who knows what would have become of Xiao Chan now… there was no other way to get by. And now the Su household is Xiao Chan’s family too — Young Mistress is, Juan’er and Xing’er are, and young master too…”

“Ha ha…”

“Actually, Father liked to drink and didn’t do much work. Ever since Xiao Chan started sending money home, he stopped even farming, just liked drinking and bragging with people all day. Mother’s quite hardworking, though she can’t bear to spend anything — when Xiao Chan brings pastries home, sometimes she takes one bite and secretly wraps up the rest, saying she’ll eat it later at night, and the rest probably just sits there until it molds. Sister-in-law is rather calculating, though she treats Brother well enough. Brother’s always dreaming of going to the city to make it big — he says marrying the prettiest girl in the neighboring village proves he’s quite capable…”

“Not as pretty as Xiao Chan.”

“Hehe…”

“That’s human nature. Your brother could make a clever shop assistant; your sister-in-law could handle accounts; your mother could run a household — even today at the memorial hall, she was off doing all sorts of small tasks, and others deferred to her, telling her not to trouble herself, which shows people already notice how capable she is in everyday matters. If your father were still alive, he’d probably make a fine shopkeeper, presiding over the counter, heh…”

“Young master, you always say such nice things — if there really were a shop like that, it’d surely collapse in no time… though Young Mistress sometimes says the same kind of thing, that everyone has their use. I do think Mother is quite impressive, actually…”

“With Xiao Chan around, it couldn’t possibly collapse — you’ve figured out what everyone in your family is like in just these ten-odd days total. You’re the impressive one, really…”

“Then isn’t young master even more impressive, having only met them once…”

“I’m just going along with what you said — scholars are good at talking nonsense convincingly, that’s all.”

“Then my brother can’t really be a shop assistant, and sister-in-law can’t handle the accounts either…”

“Ha…”

“Oh, that reminds me, young master — even though Xiao Chan was sold away at four and can’t remember much from before, there’s one place that’s quite interesting…”

“…”

On and on they chattered, in the remote village of Nanting, where the memorial hall in the main house still glowed with lamplight while all other lights had gone dark, stars blinking in the sky above, watching over this land now sunk into sleep…

…

Ning Yi had an erotic dream.

Which, of course, was entirely natural.

This night was something of a trial for both him and Xiao Chan. For Ning Yi, doing something with a girl of fifteen, nearly sixteen, wasn’t in itself something to worry about, since the act itself wasn’t particularly harmful to her body — but in this era, whether it came to pregnancy and childbirth or contraception and abortion, either was quite hard on a girl that young, and that was the main reason for his sighing and wry amusement.

Xiao Chan couldn’t have a child before Su Tan’er did — that was simply how things worked in a great household — and so when he brought this up, Xiao Chan immediately grew anxious and insisted she’d never have a baby before Young Mistress did. Ning Yi himself didn’t care about this at all, but everyone else did, including Xiao Chan herself, which made the whole situation rather awkward.

He wasn’t a man without desire — it was simply that restraint and reason had become an overwhelmingly strong part of his character. Having seen his share of worldly pleasures before, finding some woman to relieve himself with meant about as much to him as doing it himself. As for his relationship with Xiao Chan, there was nothing to be sentimental or conflicted about — once he’d made his decision, he would take responsibility for it. Fifteen or sixteen wasn’t the issue. The issue, tonight, was simply the order of things — before Su Tan’er.

The two of them talked like this well into the night before finally falling asleep.

Xiao Chan woke early, opening her eyes while it was still dark outside.

A thin blanket covered them both.

She was held against Ning Yi’s chest, her bare back pressed to him, his arms wrapped around her from behind, her hands holding onto his arms. Her heart felt warm.

This night held special meaning for her too — a sense of warmth, of belonging, and of course plenty of shyness and anticipation as well, though it was a pity young master had worried that pregnancy might harm her body…

Once awake, at first she simply savored the warmth, but then, feeling something pressing against her from behind, her face flushed and she couldn’t help but think of other things.

Back when the Su family had held the wedding, Su Tan’er already held a certain standing in the household — she could ignore such matters, throw a temper, even run off on the day itself if she wanted. But Xiao Chan couldn’t do the same. She, along with Juan’er and Xing’er, had actually been learning and studying certain things around that time — some troublesome, half-understood, embarrassing things that a bedchamber maid was required to learn. Later, once she’d been kept on, since the matrilocal son-in-law held no great status and the young mistress seemed to have no particular intentions in that direction either, they’d all quietly set such things aside — after all, even just thinking about them made a young maid blush.

So these thoughts had stayed tucked away in her heart, though occasionally, following young master around, they’d resurface — until, in the fifth month, Young Mistress had said those words, granting her to attend young master in his bedchamber, and after her coming-of-age ceremony and being formally taken in, she found herself thinking of such things more and more often — and now, they couldn’t help but well up again.

Her face and body flushed hot then shy by turns as she felt the body behind her — young master had said tonight would be rough for him too… And besides, she was supposed to try with young master before Young Mistress did… er, that was what that auntie had said at the time… young master must be having a hard time too… but thinking like this would make her seem shameless and wanton, wouldn’t it… better not to think about it…

In the darkness, she pressed her lips together, curled up, and slipped out of Ning Yi’s embrace. Draped in the blanket, she lay over him, her heart conflicted, biting her lip, at moments looking almost as if she might cry…

I belong to young master now, no matter what…

The night ran deep. At some point, the little maid took a soft breath, slowly slipping back beneath the thin blanket, starlight tracing faint outlines. Rustling sounds came and went, paused for a moment, then resumed — slow, gentle, careful movements…

The sky was not yet light, and the stars blinked once more…