After striking Qiao Qingyu’s palms, Qiao Lilong waved his hand dismissively and, despite Qiao Lusheng’s pleas, left Chaoyang New Village without looking back. Later, he waited for Qiao Jinrui at the community entrance and returned to Nanqiao Village that night.

Qiao Lusheng, who hadn’t gone with them, returned home in a daze, carrying a bottle of erguotou liquor.

“Such misfortune for our family,” Qiao Qingyu heard him shouting in the living room. “Xiaoyu, come, drink with Dad, drown our sorrows.”

Li Fanghao’s voice was absent. The sound of liquor hitting the glass was alarming, and Qiao Qingyu rushed out of her room.

“About Jinrui’s situation, tomorrow our whole family will go apologize and make amends,” Qiao Lusheng announced.

“Dad,” Qiao Qingyu stared at the glistening glass as if watching a monster, her voice full of fear, “Please don’t drink baijiu like this, okay? What I did wrong, I’ll bear alone, you can punish me however you want. I promise I’ll never do anything to hurt the family again…”

“Bear alone,” Qiao Lusheng sneered, “You think you can bear it? Who do you think you are? Jinrui’s future is ruined! Our family can never hold our heads up in the village again! Your grandmother, if she weren’t bedridden, would have jumped in the river already! Look at what you’ve done! Who gave you such nerve, huh?!”

Her ears ringing from the shouts, Qiao Qingyu didn’t dare look up, catching glimpses of Li Fanghao sitting on the sofa, taking out items one by one from the backpack Wang Mumu had given her.

A set of wrapped autumn underwear, two pairs of socks, slippers, a towel, a toothbrush and toothpaste, tissues, cookies, a water bottle, an umbrella, and something wrapped in a black plastic bag. Li Fanghao quickly opened the plastic bag and took out a package of sanitary pads—Sister Mumu was so thoughtful, Qiao Qingyu couldn’t help but feel moved.

“Where’s that notebook of yours?” Li Fanghao suddenly looked up, “The light green one where you copy down famous quotes, where is it?”

Qiao Qingyu’s scalp tingled: “Which notebook?”

Li Fanghao walked over directly, patted the hem of Qiao Qingyu’s down jacket, deftly unzipped it, and pulled out the notebook, wallet, and other items from the inner pocket.

“Go shower and change clothes,” Li Fanghao ordered, “We’ll talk after dinner.”

The words “we’ll talk” meant an unavoidable hailstorm was coming. Dinner proceeded in complete silence, with Qiao Qingyu’s thoughts charging chaotically through her confused and tense mind, finding no way out. Mingsheng’s “I’ll be right back” note was tucked in the last page of her notebook, and Li Fanghao had surely found it. How could she explain this note written in a boy’s handwriting? Could Li Fanghao tell that the handwriting on the note and the candy box came from the same person? How would Li Fanghao interpret the relationship between a boy’s note and a girl’s backpack?

Qiao Lusheng rarely drank, but now having consumed half a bottle of erguotou, he was visibly drunk and stumbled into the bedroom halfway through dinner, abandoning his chopsticks. Qiao Jinyu, trying to ease the family atmosphere, volunteered to clean up after dinner. After he entered the kitchen, Li Fanghao pulled Qiao Qingyu into the half-room where Qiao Jinyu lived.

The notebook and Wang Mumu’s backpack were on the table. The backpack was bulging; Li Fanghao had put everything back inside. After closing the plywood door, she first went to draw the curtains flat, then began her conversation with Qiao Qingyu with a heavy sigh.

“Who have you been staying with these past days?”

Still the same question. Qiao Qingyu knew she had to give a convincing answer, otherwise, Li Fanghao, already on the verge of a breakdown, might go mad from her deception.

“At a classmate’s house.”

“Across the way?” Li Fanghao narrowed her eyes, her tone suggesting she already knew everything.

“Yes,” Qiao Qingyu wrung her hands, “My classmate lives across from us.”

“It’s that Mingsheng, isn’t it?”

Qiao Qingyu’s heart jumped to her throat and stopped.

“The newsstand owner, Old Lady Feng, told me yesterday that Mingsheng brought a girl home, and I guessed it was you,” Li Fanghao said eerily. “I just found out he lives right across from us, his parents don’t care about him, he’s just a good-for-nothing. You’re so bold, and so cheap, not coming home but fooling around with him.”

“Mom,” Qiao Qingyu began weakly, “I just borrowed his bed to sleep, we’re… just classmates, I had a fever, he saw I was pitiful and just helped me…”

She briefly recounted how she had developed a fever after spending the night at the train station and met Mingsheng at the cemetery. Quickly, she mentioned Wang Mumu, telling Li Fanghao that the backpack was from her.

Li Fanghao nodded: “I know Wang Mumu, she’s the one whose phone you found before, lives across from Mingsheng’s place and gets good grades.”

“Mm.”

“The note was written by Mingsheng?”

After hesitating for a moment, Qiao Qingyu uttered a “yes.”

“He went looking for you especially, being so kind?” Li Fanghao said sarcastically, “I’ve seen this kind of thing plenty with your sister, either he has ulterior motives, deliberately trying to win you over, or you’re the shameless one, throwing yourself at him. You’re growing up now, with a pretty face, what boy wouldn’t be happy to have you throwing yourself at him? After all, the boys don’t lose anything. Tell me, which is it with you and him?”

After a while, Qiao Qingyu spoke: “Neither, it’s not what you think, Mom.”

“It’s you throwing yourself at him, debasing yourself,” Li Fanghao declared. “Your homeroom teacher Ms. Sun, and Old Lady Feng, both told me the note you put in the candy box looked like Mingsheng’s writing. If you hadn’t told him, how would he know about our family matters?”

“It was my fault, it has nothing to do with him,” Qiao Qingyu felt suffocated, “He just saw I was pitiful and helped out.”

“I see, you’re so quick to defend him, you care about him that much?”

“I don’t.”

“Then what are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid.”

“Afraid I’ll go scold him? Embarrass you?”

“I begged him to help me, Mom,” Qiao Qingyu forced herself to look up, “He’s a very kind classmate. If you don’t believe me, you can ask any other classmate. If you want to scold someone, scold me, I brought this on myself, I deserve it.”

“If your father hadn’t stopped me, I would’ve gone over to scold him already, not caring what people think,” Li Fanghao’s voice wasn’t loud but her expression was fierce. “Your useless father, as soon as he heard the boy’s father is the director of Provincial First Hospital, he didn’t dare do anything, saying what if it wasn’t you, it would be embarrassing, wouldn’t know how to face the Director Wen, already feeling guilty… hah, now I understand, your father’s mind is just like your grandparents’, something wrong with it! Daughters aren’t even human to them! I regret it, when they wanted me to try for a son, why did I agree to give birth, I should have taken Xiaobai and divorced your father…”

She began to sob, her cries growing louder, almost breathless. Qiao Jinyu rushed over at the sound and wordlessly sat beside Li Fanghao, softly comforting her while rubbing her back. Gradually, Li Fanghao calmed somewhat, resting her head on Qiao Jinyu’s shoulder like a child, calling out weakly: “Xiaobai…”

Qiao Jinyu gave Qiao Qingyu a look, meaning doesn’t just stand there, come comfort, Mom, quickly.

After Qiao Qingyu sat down, she saw Li Fanghao’s eyes tightly closed, her mouth twitching strangely, looking like an eerie smile. Just as she was about to take Li Fanghao’s hand, suddenly Li Fanghao opened her eyes, her gaze empty and soulless, as if her spirit had already departed.

Just as Qiao Qingyu was about to cry out in fear, Li Fanghao waved her hand and closed her eyes again.

Soon after, she stood up, refusing her children’s escort, and returned to her room alone.

The next day, Qiao Lusheng and Li Fanghao had an unprecedented conflict over whether to return to Nanqiao Village to apologize. Whenever Qiao Lusheng began to roar, Li Fanghao would cover his next words with an even louder voice, until Qiao Lusheng violently threw a chair. Qiao Qingyu listened with a pounding heart, and Qiao Jinyu was too frightened to move. When Qiao Lusheng finally slammed the door and left, hearing Li Fanghao’s unceasing curses, Qiao Qingyu worried that when her father returned, he would again be carrying a bottle of erguotou like yesterday.

She had anticipated her parents’ anger and disappointment, even them severing ties with her, but hadn’t expected them to hurt each other and themselves. Whatever happened, she didn’t want to see Qiao Lusheng drunk again. The fire she had set in Nanqiao Village had spread here, mercilessly consuming her home. Qiao Qingyu felt she had to do something.

No, she reconsidered, she couldn’t do anything.

An obedient daughter would help her collapsed parents regain their strength, and prevent them from losing their way or falling apart.

Since she had returned, she should accept all scolding and punishment; from now on, obey her parents in everything, and let them rebuild their confidence in her.

That afternoon after her parents’ huge fight, Qiao Qingyu still went with Qiao Lusheng back to Nanqiao Village. To prevent Li Fanghao from feeling “betrayed” by the whole family, Qiao Qingyu persuaded Qiao Jinyu to stay in Chaoyang New Village to comfort their mother. She stayed in Nanqiao Village for two hours, accepting Qiao Lilong’s admonishments, and following his orders, under the watchful eyes of numerous neighbors, faced her grandparents and uncle and aunt, kowtowing three times in genuine apology. Qiao Jinrui never appeared. Qiao Qingyu knelt for a long time at his door, under the judging eyes of her elders, emptying every word of regret and apology from her mind.

Aunt Liu Yanfen tried to rush over several times, looking as if she wanted to tear Qiao Qingyu apart, but was held back by neighbors each time. When Qiao Qingyu was finally allowed to stand up, Liu Yanfen spat at her. The spit flew inaccurately, hitting Qiao Jinrui’s door, and causing Liu Yanfen to completely lose her mind.

“Little slut! Even cheaper than your sister! Shameless! White-eyed wolf! Bringing such disaster to the family, not shedding a single tear, how poisonous! You bitch!” she raged at Qiao Qingyu. “Your mother didn’t dare come? Both daughters joining forces to ruin my son! You spawn!”

Qiao Qingyu, expressionless, followed behind Qiao Lusheng, as detached as a walking corpse. This afternoon would surely be the most humiliating time in her life, perhaps because it was too humiliating, her soul had already escaped. Before they even reached the first floor, she thought, she would likely lose this memory in the future. Yes, she hadn’t cried, because within this heavy, obedient body, there was no heart.

In contrast, Qiao Lusheng’s eyes were red.

Before they walked out the courtyard gate, Qiao Lilong told Qiao Lusheng in front of everyone that they needn’t come back for New Year’s anymore.

“Your grandparents don’t want me as their son anymore,” Qiao Lusheng sighed to Qiao Qingyu on the last rural bus, wiping his eyes with his hand. “You’ve uprooted our entire family.”

Qiao Qingyu indeed felt uprooted, but beyond the pain, she felt a lightness, even lighter than when she had fled alone by bus last time. She wanted to comfort Qiao Lusheng and tell him Nanqiao Village wasn’t worth missing—evident from how Qiao Baiyu chose to be buried by Qinghu Lake rather than in the ancestral grave. But she said nothing. The years of accumulated furrows between Qiao Lusheng’s brows made her understand that leading her family out of this painful situation she had caused would require patience, strength, and selfless sacrifice.

Outside the bus window, dusk fell rapidly, the sky first covered in gray, then gradually deepening until it became a near-black deep blue. As the bus swayed, Qiao Qingyu felt she wasn’t driving on mountain roads but sinking into the deep sea. The feeling of being unable to breathe was quite uncomfortable, but because Qiao Lusheng beside her was sinking even deeper, her limbs instead filled with upward force. I cannot step on my parents’ feelings to gain so-called freedom, she thought. I’ve dragged them into this murky water; before I can get air, I must first ensure they can breathe freely.

Beyond this, nothing else mattered.