Seeing that the maids and wet nurses were taking good care of the four children, and knowing that some topics weren’t suitable for the children to overhear, Cao Yuqing took Qin Yining by the arm and slowly walked to the corridor to talk.
“If you ask me, if you and the Prince had shared your current understanding in earlier years, you wouldn’t have suffered so much hardship all these years. It’s just a pity that you’re both people who care about righteousness and couldn’t bear to let the common people suffer.”
Qin Yining smiled bitterly as she lowered her gaze, scraping her fingernails against the corridor pillar beside her, saying helplessly: “There was no other way about it. Perhaps this is how one’s character determines one’s fate. Sometimes I also think that if I had known things would reach today’s situation, I might have advised the Prince earlier back then. We didn’t choose to do what we’re doing now at the most advantageous time.”
“Sometimes I say the same thing to your father,” Cao Yuqing put her arm around Qin Yining’s shoulders. “Your father says that everything requires a certain accumulation before it can achieve qualitative change. You and the Prince are both people who care about the common people, so it’s natural that you would consider the people’s feelings. This also has certain advantages.”
Qin Yining looked at Cao Yuqing with puzzlement.
Tucking the loose strands of hair by Qin Yining’s temples behind her ear, Cao Yuqing said gently: “When things develop to the point where you can no longer endure them, you will certainly be standing on the side of morality and righteousness. By then, no matter how things develop afterward, whether you have ambitious hearts or not, things will be easier to handle. At least there will be fewer obstacles when you make your choices.”
Qin Yining nodded. “This is the only consoling aspect right now. But will we truly be allowed to make choices in the future?”
Cao Yuqing looked at Qin Yining strangely. “Do you have other thoughts?”
Qin Yining turned back to look at the room.
Cao Yuqing immediately understood her meaning and took her arm, saying: “Let’s stroll around the manor.”
“Alright.” The two left the inner quarters. Qin Yining waved her hand to indicate that those around them needn’t follow, and they found a shaded path that led to a more open area.
Cao Yuqing leaned against a tall catalpa tree, casually looking around before tilting her head up to see the drooping tassels beneath the broad leaves. “What does Yi Jie’er want to tell me?”
Knowing this place was safe for conversation, Qin Yining said: “Aunt Cao, I’ve never mentioned these words to anyone else. I can only speak about them with you.”
Being treated as someone Qin Yining could confide in, Cao Yuqing smiled happily and nodded: “Don’t worry, I won’t gossip with others. You can speak about any troubles you have, and I can help you work through them.”
Qin Yining gave a bitter laugh and said: “Aunt Cao, actually my father is right. Now the Prince has high popular support among the people, with mostly positive evaluations. In the future, he and Li Qitian will inevitably have a battle, and looking at the financial resources and military strength Li Qitian currently has, the Prince’s chances of victory are very high.”
“Yes.” Cao Yuqing smiled. “Your father often says that you two are thorough in your planning, having prepared everything well. There won’t be too many obstacles in the future.”
Though the words were spoken circumspectly, Qin Yining understood that when Cao Yuqing said there wouldn’t be too many obstacles, she was naturally referring to ascending to that position.
“Actually, even now, what I most want is still to live ordinary, peaceful days—having the whole family together, able to live safely and peacefully until our final years.”
Cao Yuqing was startled and said in surprise: “Yi Jie’er, it seems you feel about that position…”
Qin Yining lowered her head, pressing her crimson lips together as she sighed: “That position is certainly good, but someone who might originally change only three parts would change seven parts once in that position. I can’t say people never change, but once they ascend to that position, change becomes catalyzed. I’m truly somewhat afraid.”
Cao Yuqing understood.
Qin Yining and Pang Xiao’s relationship was too good. They had experienced too many storms and hardships together. Qin Yining had invested much in this relationship, and the grievances and hardships she had suffered from getting involved in Pang Xiao’s life were beyond what ordinary people could imagine.
What Pang Xiao could give Qin Yining would include wealth and status, but a stable life was something he probably couldn’t provide for a lifetime. The only thing that could matter to a woman like Qin Yining was that Pang Xiao was different from contemporary men—he was wholehearted toward Qin Yining, never having other thoughts, not taking concubines or accepting bed warmers.
But once he ascended to that position, future matters would become very uncertain. Once a man awakens to hold power over the world, how could one guarantee he wouldn’t come to desire resting his head on a beauty’s lap? And how many years could a woman’s best years last?
Qin Yining was beautiful, but red-faced youth would eventually age. There would always be young, flower-like women appearing to fill the emperor’s harem.
What Qin Yining feared was probably not the turbulent life, but simply that human hearts could easily change.
That would make her question whether her devotion had been worthwhile.
Cao Yuqing compassionately embraced Qin Yining’s shoulders and sighed helplessly: “Yi Jie’er, Auntie understands your worries. But some things are already predetermined and cannot be changed. Just like me—I’m also only a concubine.”
“I know, Aunt Cao. I understand all these principles. The world is as it is now, and moreover, if he truly becomes emperor, even if it’s not his personal preference, the balance of interests among court ministers would cause many women to appear by his side. I understand all these principles. I’m just… somewhat melancholy.”
“Don’t overthink it. No matter what happens, no one can replace your position. After all, you are the mother of four children.”
“I understand, I understand it all.” Qin Yining leaned against the catalpa trunk behind her and sighed softly: “I’m just… panicking in my heart.”
“Your relationship with the Prince is so good. If changes truly occurred, it would indeed be regrettable.” Cao Yuqing pondered for a moment, her eyes brightening: “Actually, given the current situation, as long as you shake your head, you could continue living ordinary days. Who says that conquering the world means one must rule it?”
Qin Yining shook her head: “We’re already riding a tiger and can’t dismount.”
Cao Yuqing fell silent for a while.
If it weren’t for being unable to dismount the tiger, they wouldn’t need to avoid Pang Xiao’s subordinates when having this conversation.
Which of those following Pang Xiao wasn’t doing so for their own future? Even if Pang Xiao didn’t want to ascend to that position in the future, these people would find ways to push him up. Because only if Pang Xiao became emperor would they have the merit of supporting the dragon.
When one person carries the expectations and futures of so many people, how could it be something where saying no was possible? Not to mention anything else, if they couldn’t obtain supreme power, then regardless of who ascended to that position, they probably wouldn’t spare someone with such high prestige in the military, would they?
They all understood that they couldn’t allow a second Li Qitian to exist.
Cao Yuqing took Qin Yining’s hand and shook it: “Yi Jie’er, listen to one thing Auntie has to say.”
“Please speak, Aunt Cao.” Qin Yining raised her eyes to look at Cao Yuqing.
Cao Yuqing said: “In this world, there’s no such thing as perfect satisfaction in all matters. There will always be dissatisfactions here or there. Take me, for example—born into a prestigious family, yet became a spy. Being a spy meant serving loyally, being arranged into an unsatisfactory marriage, marrying someone I didn’t like, and from then on every step was wasted. Most of this life has actually been lived for others.”
“But Yi Jie’er, objectively existing realities sometimes simply cannot be changed through human effort alone. Since we can’t change them, we must learn to adapt to them, accept them, and moreover accept them with a smile, in order to master them.”
Qin Yining pressed her crimson lips together and nodded.
In these matters, Cao Yuqing was much more perceptive than her birth mother. Many principles she dared not discuss with Sun Shi, because speaking of them would bring no comfort and would only create another anxious person. But Cao Yuqing was the same type of person as her father, able to give her advice and comfort.
She understood all these principles. But having someone who could speak with her openly and honestly, truly thinking of her welfare—this feeling truly filled her heart with warmth.
“I understand.” Qin Yining hugged Cao Yuqing. “Thank you, Aunt Cao.”
“Silly girl, what’s there to thank?” Cao Yuqing also embraced Qin Yining. “You’re an understanding person. You don’t necessarily not know these principles; you’re just troubled in your heart. But don’t be pessimistic either. Things haven’t happened yet, so there’s still hope for everything to turn around. What we need to do now is figure out how to leave the city and rendezvous with the Prince and the others. Everything else is secondary. Even if we’re going to worry about these things, we should wait until we truly understand everything.”
“I was worrying unnecessarily.” Qin Yining smiled.
Cao Yuqing smiled charmingly: “It’s because you care that you worry.” Taking Qin Yining’s arm, she said: “Let’s head back. We can’t stay away too long.”
Qin Yining nodded and walked back toward the main house, chatting and laughing with Cao Yuqing.
Qin Yining spent two days playing wildly with the children at the farm. Originally they had planned to prepare for leaving the city, but with Qin Huaiyuan’s advance arrangements and Cao Yuqing’s assistance, their group was divided into four batches to leave the city. After disguising themselves, everything went very smoothly.
After reuniting outside the city, everyone didn’t dare delay along the way and headed directly toward Pang Xiao’s marching direction to meet them head-on.
“Your Highness! The scouts have detected the whereabouts of the Princess Consort’s party.” Huzi strode into the command tent, reporting to Pang Xiao, who was discussing strategy with Ji Zeyu and Qin Huaiyuan. His face was beaming with joy as if celebrating New Year.
Qin Huaiyuan couldn’t help but laugh: “It seems their journey went quite smoothly.”
Ji Zeyu teased: “Zhixi was worrying earlier, but I said Uncle Qin’s plan wouldn’t have problems.” During these days of constant companionship, Qin Huaiyuan’s personal charm had already influenced those around Pang Xiao. Ji Zeyu’s address of “Uncle Qin” came from genuine respect.
Pang Xiao said sheepishly: “I was troubled by excessive concern. Father-in-law, I’ll go meet them.”
Qin Huaiyuan joked: “If I said no, you wouldn’t listen to me anyway, would you?”
Pang Xiao had already stood up and was heading outside. Hearing this, he turned back: “Father-in-law, would you like to come along?”
Qin Huaiyuan was startled, then burst into hearty laughter, standing up while heading outside: “You child, is it from spending so long with Yi Jie’er that you’ve become so playful despite being a grown man?”
Qin Huaiyuan truly treated Pang Xiao as his own child, his tone intimate and warm. Pang Xiao also laughed, pulling along Ji Zeyu and Mu Jinghu, clustering around Qin Huaiyuan: “Come on, let’s all go together!”