Yan Sanhe staggered back several steps. A large hand reached out to support her. Without looking back at the warmth of that palm, she knew it was Third Master Xie.

“Stop always grabbing men by the front of their robes.”

Yan Sanhe glared at him.

As if she wanted to grab! If not for this, how could she make Ji Lingchuan remember to his bones?

“Miss Yan, Yan Sanhe…”

Ji Lingchuan suddenly became manic, jumping and hopping, emitting low roars from his throat.

Yan Sanhe lifted her leg and skillfully kicked his knee twice.

“Thump—”

Ji Lingchuan fell to his knees, his voice breaking from pain.

“Yan Sanhe, tell me the truth quickly—why is it me? Why?”

“The truth?”

A trace of desolation floated in Yan Sanhe’s eyes: I’m afraid you can’t bear to hear it, Ji Lingchuan.

“Hu Sanmei humbled herself, endured everything, sacrificed her two sons, and finally was elevated to the legitimate wife, becoming the mistress of the Ji family, so you could openly call her Mother. Is that right?”

Ji Lingchuan’s voice trembled. “Right!”

“After Hu Sanmei was elevated to legitimate wife, your father didn’t treat her as a true wife.

The Zhang family’s yearly gifts didn’t pass through her hands. She wasn’t allowed to interfere in your brothers’ marriage arrangements. In Ji Chunshan’s heart, his first wife would always be Lady Zhang. Is that right?”

“…Right!”

“You and your second brother never treated her as your true mother. Being born from a concubine’s belly was the greatest humiliation of your lives.

How could an illiterate fisherwoman deserve to be your mother? Is that right?”

Ji Lingchuan lowered his head in shame. “Right!”

Yan Sanhe looked coldly at Ji Lingchuan.

“Love between men and women is easily severed. When the heart grows cold, feelings fade. Your father could remarry seventeen or eighteen concubines—for her, it was just adding a few more pairs of chopsticks.

But blood ties cannot be cut by blade or burned by fire—that’s something that seeps into the bones.

Every one of you was carried in her womb for ten months. For each one, she stepped one foot into the gates of hell, surviving nine deaths to give birth.”

Ji Lingchuan felt the sky darkening before his eyes, his chest as if stuffed with a boulder—blocked, unable to catch his breath.

“Miss Yan, stop talking, stop…”

“If I don’t speak, how will you know the cause and effect?”

Yan Sanhe laughed with self-mockery.

“To obtain something, one must first sacrifice something. The old matriarch understood clearly that this world has every kind of medicine except regret medicine.

Moreover, watching you two brothers establish families and careers, study and become officials—she had nothing to regret. Even if you brothers looked down on her, as long as you were well, she accepted it.”

At this point, Yan Sanhe’s tone suddenly shifted.

“Do you still remember what Third Madam Ning said about the Jinxiu Silk Shop incident?”

Ji Lingchuan nodded painfully.

“It was clearly done by the First Madam, yet she falsely accused Third Madam.”

Yan Sanhe said, “I said at the time the old matriarch had two purposes: one was family harmony brings prosperity, the other was to establish her authority as mother-in-law through both kindness and severity. Actually, I was wrong.”

“Then what was the reason?” Pei Xiao couldn’t help but interject.

“The First Madam was chosen by the Zhang family. If she wanted family harmony, let me ask Master Pei—who was the master of this household?”

Pei Xiao looked at Ji Lingchuan on the ground. “So she didn’t want Uncle caught in the middle!”

Yan Sanhe said, “Moreover, she didn’t want to establish authority through kindness and severity. On the contrary, she wanted to curry favor with the First Madam.”

Pei Xiao was puzzled. “Why?”

“Because…”

Yan Sanhe’s voice suddenly became as light as the night wind.

“Because she wanted to learn more about her son through the First Madam’s mouth.

What Eldest Master Ji ate today, what he drank, whether he was cold, whether he added clothing, whether things went smoothly at the yamen, whether he had troubles…

These ordinary, mundane moments of daily life, spoken through the First Madam’s mouth to the old matriarch—for the First Madam, these were little moments between her and her husband.

But for the old matriarch, these were little moments between mother and son.”

“My maternal grandmother, she…”

Pei Xiao suddenly choked up.

“In a person’s lifetime, the first time is most unforgettable.”

Yan Sanhe’s profile fell into alternating light and shadow.

“The first heart flutter, the first time stepping through the vermillion gates of the Ji manor, the first intimate union with a man, the first pregnancy…”

How could Hu Sanmei have known then that she and this child would only have ten months of mother-son connection?

She must have been filled with anticipation and joy, looking forward to this child’s birth.

Hearing his first cry upon coming into this world, feeling his first suckling, seeing his first baby tooth emerge, hearing him call her Mother for the first time…

Ironically, except for that first cry, she received none of it.

That Eldest Master Ji named Lingchuan became an obsession she could only dare embrace in dreams for the rest of her life.

“Mama Chen said that before her death, the old matriarch often said one thing: one must watch more, listen more, and speak less. Talk too much and not only do you seem foolish, but your innermost thoughts are seen by others.”

Yan Sanhe gently shook her head.

“Look at that—the old matriarch lived with such self-awareness. She positioned herself as an observer, observing her children’s lives. When they were well, she was at peace. When they weren’t well, her heart twisted with worry.

Precisely because of this, she secretly arranged for her personal maid to share Third Master Ji’s bed.”

In the old matriarch’s understanding, only by bearing a son could Lady Ning have the confidence to live in the Ji family.

Only by bearing a son could Third Master Ji have an heir, able to stand firm in the clan.

She didn’t dare do it openly, only through sneaking and concealing. She calculated everything except Third Madam’s temperament.

Third Madam married into the Ji family with a ten-li red dowry, her natal family’s gold and silver mountains inexhaustible. She didn’t accept this approach at all. Ji Lingchuan…”

Yan Sanhe’s tone shifted again, her eyes suddenly sharp.

“Your mother came to the capital alone at sixteen, arriving with nothing but her young, healthy body and a belly that could bear sons.

She was a fisherwoman with no natal family to rely on, no parents or brothers to support her. Do you know to what extent she endured to rise in position?”

Ji Lingchuan’s brow twitched violently.

“Mama Chen said when your grandmother couldn’t defecate, she used her fingers to dig it out bit by bit.

What you saw was your mother kneeling on the ground washing your legitimate mother’s feet. What you didn’t see—perhaps she did even more humble things.

You despised her birth, despised her submissiveness…”

Yan Sanhe’s hanging hands slowly clenched into fists, veins beginning to bulge one by one on the back of her hands.

“Did you think she rose to become mistress of the Ji family solely through your legitimate mother’s grace?

You relied on the Zhang family to advance your career. From beginning to end, she relied only on herself.

What right do you have to look down on her?

What right to despise her?

Ji Lingchuan, by what qualification?”