◎ How Far From Happiness ◎

Gu Qiao thought to herself: since the visa had gone through, it must be that fate was pushing her to go. Perhaps the check would be unfrozen soon.

She drove the yellow Dafa home as rain drummed against the windows.

The day after the visa came through, Gu Qiao caught a cold from being rained on. In twenty-one years, she had almost never been sick — mental exhaustion had left a gap for the virus to slip through.

She turned around and reassured Lou Deyu instead: as long as the check was genuine, the money would eventually come through, it was only a matter of time. If negotiations failed, they would take it to court — the money would just come in a little slower. Lou Deyu also urged Gu Qiao not to let it get to her.

The Lianxing Company that had issued her check was suspected of check fraud. She had actually been somewhat fortunate — the check Lianxing had given her was genuine, while people like Boss Zhai had received forged ones. It was Old Zhai who had reported Lianxing’s check fraud. The moment he realized he had been swindled, his very first move was to file a police report and apply to freeze Lianxing’s assets. Lianxing’s frozen assets naturally included the genuine checks it had issued, which meant Gu Qiao had no way to withdraw her money.

It was to the sound of Gu Qiao’s coughing that the economic crime investigators came knocking, requesting her cooperation with the investigation into Lianxing Company’s check fraud. From the tone of the officers, Lou Deyu could tell that Gu Qiao was not being treated simply as a victim.

Lou Deyu immediately said: “Comrades, I understand this matter clearly — I’ll go with you. Gu Qiao has a fever right now, she hasn’t got the energy to answer questions.”

Gu Qiao coughed again and produced a smile: “Dad, I know this best. You stay here — our business still needs to keep going. From now on, we only accept cash.” She turned to the economic crime investigators with another smile: “Just a moment, let me drink a couple of sips of water first — my throat is too dry, I’m afraid I won’t be able to speak later.”

Gu Qiao left the hotel, and before getting into the police car she looked up and saw a perfectly clear sky. Yesterday’s rain had continued through this morning, and everything around her looked as though it had been washed clean — everything was new.

When Gu Qiao arrived at the economic crime unit, she learned it had been Old Zhai who had reported her.

Boss Zhai had by now forgotten that his partnership with Lianxing had been entirely his own initiative — to steal Gu Qiao’s business, he had treated the manager to karaoke and lavish dinners more than once. But what was occupying his mind now was why Gu Qiao had received a genuine check while he had received a forged one. Was it possible that Gu Qiao and Lianxing’s scoundrel had deliberately set him up and cheated him out of his money?

Boss Zhai had harbored some hesitation when he heard Lianxing’s owner wanted to pay by check — after all, it was 500,000 yuan. But Lianxing’s scoundrel told him he always paid by check, that he had done several deals with Gu Qiao, all paid by check and in even larger amounts, and that if Boss Zhai did not want to do business, he was perfectly free to go to Gu Qiao instead. While Boss Zhai was still wavering, the scoundrel said that trust was the most important thing in business — if there was not even that level of trust between them, there was no need to cooperate at all; besides, was he really short of this little bit of money, his car alone was worth more than the goods payment. The scoundrel drove an Audi.

Before the check matured, Boss Zhai needed the cash urgently and went to the bank to discount it, only to discover the check was fake. Lianxing’s owner was now nowhere to be found, the Audi too had vanished, and even the office was rented and coming up on its lease expiration — only a secretary remained, and reportedly had not even been paid her wages. Besides debt collectors at the door, there were those chasing gambling debts as well. The victims beyond Boss Zhai numbered several, with total disputed amounts in the millions. The only funds in the frozen bank account were 600,000 yuan — exactly the figure on Gu Qiao’s check. Gu Qiao had been running back and forth between the bank and the courts trying to unfreeze her check and withdraw the money, and as a related party in the case, Boss Zhai had become aware of this. If Gu Qiao got all that money out, any chance of recovering what he had lost would vanish entirely.

—

The more Boss Zhai thought about it, the more suspicious it seemed. The more he thought, the more he felt Gu Qiao could not be entirely innocent. What right did she have to receive a genuine check? And why did she happen to be trying to cash it at precisely this moment? She and the man who had run off could well be in on it together.

Boss Zhai’s suspicions were only suspicions, with no substantial evidence.

Gu Qiao had more than enough counter-arguments. Her relationship with Lianxing had been purely professional — she had not even shared a single meal with them. Every time she received a check, she went to the bank in person to verify it was genuine rather than simply confirming the check number over the phone, which was precisely why Lianxing had not dared to give her a fake one. She had been too afraid of being cheated. She had received her check earlier than Boss Zhai — at that point, Lianxing’s scoundrel had probably not yet conceived of using forged checks as a means of fraud.

Gu Qiao was taken away in a police car and then released again. But Boss Zhai did not believe her because of this, and was unwilling to believe her — because if he did, the money he had lost would probably be gone for good. Even if the man who owed gambling debts were caught, there was no telling how much could be recovered. Even if Gu Qiao did not unfreeze her account and withdraw her funds, the money in the account was not enough to go around. But that was still better than having this little Gu girl’s money sitting intact and untouched.

Boss Zhai’s words were powerfully persuasive, and some of Lianxing’s other creditors came to believe they might be able to extract something useful from Gu Qiao, with some even convinced that part of the money they had been defrauded of was tucked away in her assets. After all, Gu Qiao was the only person currently holding a genuine check, and she was still pursuing a lawsuit to unfreeze the account and withdraw all the funds — leaving no flicker of hope for them to recover their own money.

Lianxing’s fugitive owner, Old Wang, was nowhere to be found, but Gu Qiao’s address was fixed. Creditors came to the suite she had rented to “pay their respects” every day — one wave gone, another came, each face different enough that calling security or the police was useless; the old ones left and new ones arrived. Running an open business meant that blocking these people out would block out clients as well. They called Gu Qiao’s pager, her mobile phone, and the hotel’s landline repeatedly. Her phone and pager numbers were deliberately plastered on telephone poles in small advertisements.

Lou Deyu had learned his lesson about getting into physical altercations, and could only explain the situation over and over again until his mouth ran dry. If not for Gu Qiao holding him back, Peng Zhou would have come to blows again. Gu Qiao found that reasoning was useless, and that fighting would be useless too — if it actually came to a brawl, their side was outnumbered. Lou Deyu, who had originally been staying in a small flat, was now so worried about Gu Qiao that he slept on the sofa in the suite every night. With an old friend keeping watch, it was safer than having his daughter live alone.

Gu Qiao’s business had nearly ground to a halt because of all this disruption. The goods stockpiled in the warehouse were not moving, and the factory owners’ payment deadlines were coming due again. If she could sell what was in the warehouse, settling the balances would be no problem at all. But now all potential buyers were being frightened off by the people who kept showing up unannounced.

Gu Qiao had thought that even if the check could not be unfrozen right away, her business could at least keep running, with new money flowing in. But now money was only flowing out — and the phone fees were being eaten up day by day. She could not stop answering, because every call was a potential piece of business. But when she answered, there was no business — only malice.

Between the visa being approved and actually receiving the visa stamp, there was still some time; Gu Qiao told Luo Peiyin over the phone that she wanted to use this time to make a trip home, since she would have no way to call him from the countryside. She also genuinely did not know what to say to him. She could not say something false, and she could not say something true either. She actually very much wanted to tell him everything — just talk about it, that would be enough.

Gu Qiao thought of the future Luo Peiyin had offered her: going to America to reunite with him, becoming a female student without financial worries, whose greatest suffering would be about exams.

That option tempted her as it never had before, and she was afraid that the next time Luo Peiyin proposed it, she might not be able to hold back saying “yes.” In moments of weakness, you cannot help wanting to find a shoulder to lean on — even if that shoulder was not yet twenty-three years old.

Gu Qiao’s cold had been dragging on and not getting better. She was not sure why such a minor cold was healing so slowly — as though it were deliberately working against that supposed fate. Lou Deyu had originally been reluctant to have her go to America, but now was advising her to go and clear her head.

And of course, also to get her away for a while. He told her to go without worry — he would keep an eye on things, and when she came back, nothing would be missing.

“All right, I’ll go to America to clear my head. You don’t need to keep watch either — since things are not busy right now and the court hasn’t convened yet, why don’t you go home and see your family? They must all be missing you.”

“But someone has to keep an eye on the business…”

“Even if we win the lawsuit, these people won’t stop causing trouble.” It would probably only get worse, Gu Qiao thought, conjuring a smile. Even if she moved somewhere else, to let clients know she would have to advertise and make her contact details widely known — anyone who wanted to find her would always be able to.

“I’ve been tired lately too. I want a rest, and let others have a chance to earn some money. They keep coming to the suite to make trouble, right? If I give up the suite, I’d like to see where they plan to go to cause a scene. Business can pause for a while too.” Gu Qiao had originally planned to give Lou Deyu his dividend share at the end of the year, but she had decided to give it to him now so he could go home — whether he wanted to buy equipment to expand his canned goods operation, or whether he wanted to do something else, it was up to him.

Gu Qiao persuaded Lou Deyu to go home, but Lou Deyu absolutely refused to take the money: “Keep this money for settling the outstanding payments.”

“Don’t worry about that — do I seem like someone who doesn’t pay her debts? The moment that check is unfrozen, I’ll pay immediately. Rest assured, I won’t owe anyone a single cent. Our check is genuine — we will definitely get the money out. You know why that Zhai fellow keeps stirring people up to come make my life difficult? Because he’s afraid I’ll withdraw the money and he’ll get nothing.”

She had not understood at first why that old man had not gone after the scoundrel who actually owed him money, instead insisting that she and Lianxing’s scoundrel were in cahoots, and riling people up to come after her one by one.

Now she understood. Even setting aside the frozen money in the bank, stirring people up to come harass her one by one had very real benefits for him. Every bit of business she lost was potentially a bit more for Old Zhai. Without her competing, he could buy goods one or two yuan cheaper, sell one or two yuan higher — that profit slowly squeezed out over time was far less effort than chasing down some debtor of unknown whereabouts.

Lou Deyu was momentarily at a loss for words. He had once been that person who did not repay his debts.

“Go home first. If you don’t want to rest, put your heart into running your canned goods factory. Didn’t you say that once the canned goods factory grows big enough, you’d have me as your general manager? I’m still waiting — don’t make me wait too long.”

Gu Qiao settled the wages of the accountant and the interpreter and gave each of them a generous red envelope.

Peng Zhou said indignantly: “The next time those people come to make trouble, I’m going to take on every last one of them. They had no brains, got swindled, and instead of going after whoever swindled them, they come picking fights with us every single day! That old scoundrel Zhai — if he’d used his head for something useful, he wouldn’t have been tricked into accepting a forged check.”

With Lou Deyu present, Gu Qiao kept her smile: “This is a good time to pause for a bit — I could use a rest too.” With Lou Deyu here, she still had misgivings. One family could not have two people both taking risks.

Peng Zhou missed the look Gu Qiao shot him. Thinking she was ready to call it quits, he said with a cold laugh: “A rest? Off to America to see that pretty boy! You can’t even speak proper English — bet you’re out there counting money for someone who’s already taken you for a ride! You, of all people, so smart — how can you not see this? Before, when I mentioned that Zhou what’s-his-name’s book to you, didn’t you say what was so great about that, when you had money, the publishing house would be begging you to write your own memoir? Look at you now — you fall apart at the first setback? What kind of person are you?”

“Shut your mouth!” Gu Qiao’s palm shot out, but it did not land on Peng Zhou’s face — it came down hard on the back of a chair instead. Her fingers gripped the chair’s railing tightly, her fingertips turning white.

At that moment another familiar troublemaker showed up, and Gu Qiao picked up the chair and hurled it at the person: “Get out!” She had always restrained herself before, not wanting clients to witness it. Now that she had temporarily given up on the business, every ounce of fury inside her came surging out.

Once the uninvited guests had all been driven out, the chairs and coat racks in the room had all been shoved out of place, and printed pages were scattered across the floor. Lou Deyu — who had just a moment ago been ready to fight to the death — now carefully picked up the fallen sheets of paper, one by one. A single blank page cost a good few fen, after all.

“I’m going out to get some air.”

Gu Qiao had always been busy in the room before — when business was not busy, she was busy with the lawsuit. The last time she had had the leisure to look up at the sky was the moment she had climbed into the police car. She looked up at the clouds, and from the street came a song she had never heard before:

*For you, I spent half a year’s savings*

*And crossed oceans to come see you*

*For this reunion*

*Even the breath I would take when I saw you*

*I rehearsed, again and again*

*Words have never been able to convey*

*Even one ten-thousandth of my feelings*

*For this regret*

*I lay awake at night, thinking and thinking,*

*Refusing to sleep*

*Memories always accumulate slowly*

*Impossible to erase from my heart*

*For the sake of your promise*

*In the most desperate of moments*

*I held back my tears*

Luo the Fourth had called Gu Qiao five times. Only one got through.

“Older cousin, why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

“Too many calls.” She did not explain why there were so many.

“Let’s go eat McDonald’s together.” Ever since the first McDonald’s opened in the city that April, Luo the Fourth’s list of favorite things had expanded from one to two.

“Next month — I don’t have time this month. Next month I’ll definitely take you.”

Luo the Fourth adopted the tone people typically used to advise his aging father: “You shouldn’t work so hard. You need to take care of your health too. Your body is the foundation of the revolution.”

Gu Qiao nearly burst out laughing at Luo the Fourth’s grown-up lecturing tone.

“Out of everyone in the family, I admire you the most — only twenty-one and you already have a mobile phone. I really don’t understand what my dad is thinking, still objecting to you and Second Brother’s relationship. He even thinks it remarkable that Second Brother refuses to take Mom’s living allowance and manages on his scholarship alone. By my dad’s logic, you’re practically a hero.”

Luo the Fourth had not known his father objected to his second brother and their older cousin — he had learned of it from his third sister. In order to make their older cousin’s love life run more smoothly, Luo the Third had advised him to announce to every girl who might be interested in his second brother, every old man who might wish to take him as a son-in-law, and every idle busybody who might want to play matchmaker, that his second brother already had a girlfriend. Third Sister had told him that everyone already knew what his mouth was like, and no one would hold it against him. Luo the Fourth had not caught the mockery in his third sister’s words, and had gone above and beyond what she had suggested.

“Hello? Why has it gone quiet? Older cousin, can you hear me?” Luo the Fourth repeated into the receiver: “Older cousin, can you hear me?” He did not hear his older cousin’s voice, but he did hear a snatch of song — something about some clueless person who spent half a year’s savings to go see someone else. That money could buy so many McDonald’s meals.

“I can hear you. Just wait — next month I’ll treat you to McDonald’s, I promise!”

In the sunlight, Gu Qiao’s eyes ached from the glare.

—

That night Gu Qiao finally had some peace and quiet — Lou Deyu had gone downstairs to buy her roasted sweet potatoes. She had told him she wanted some.

Before dialing she could hear her own heartbeat.

When the long-distance operator connected, she did not say in English, “Please charge the receiving party.”

Gu Qiao very much wanted to hear Luo Peiyin’s voice first — a voice still cheerful and untroubled. But she was afraid that once she heard it, she would be unable to say what she needed to say.

She spoke very slowly this time: “I’m not going to America.” She did not give Luo Peiyin time to respond before continuing: “My check has been frozen. I need to stay and fight the lawsuit.” This time she did not say “next time.” After so many uncertain promises of a next time, she did not want to make another one, dragging out his expectations and then disappointing him again. Every time she disappointed him, she had never felt good about it either.

She heard no reproach — only silence.

After the brief silence, he told her not to worry. Whatever happened, he would be there as a safety net for her.

He had seen her on the train, selling hard-boiled eggs from her pack for money — going from one carriage to the next.

His words came faster than usual. He asked how much the frozen check was for, whether it was genuine, and whether it was a bank-accepted draft or an ordinary commercial draft.

Gu Qiao heard the concern in his voice, and that concern made her feel a grief she could not name. It reminded her that when he had been injured in the car accident, she had not gone to see him, yet now he had to worry about her from the other side of a phone line. And the reunion he had planned, she was unable to give him that either. A long-distance relationship was a double loss for him — not only could he not have a pair of hands to look after him when he needed care, he had to cross the Pacific Ocean in his concern, carrying the weight of another person’s joy and sorrow.

At twenty-one, Gu Qiao believed that love should be fair. She had always told herself that the future was long, that she had endless opportunities and all the time in the world to be an ideal partner. But now, thinking on it — a check that should have been cashed on its due date, being dragged out to some uncertain day in the future — that was too cruel to the person holding it.

Gu Qiao lied about the amount on the check — she said it was not all that much, and that she was sure she would win the lawsuit.

She rehearsed the words she planned to say over and over in her head: “I don’t need you to be my safety net. I can be my own safety net. We both have more important things right now than being together.”

But when she imagined someone else standing with Luo Peiyin in Death Valley watching the stars, it was as if a hand had closed around her throat, and for a moment she could not breathe.

—