“What?” Shu Nian supported herself with her hands on the counter behind her, meeting Xie Ru He’s eyes before quickly lowering her gaze, like a puppy avoiding eye contact with its owner. “N-no, that’s just what my mom said…”
Xie Ru He stared at her silently, saying nothing.
His breath was very close, warm, and carrying a bitter herbal medicine scent, but more prominently a crisp mint fragrance. Shu Nian swallowed and explained in a small voice: “I didn’t think that way before.”
Xie Ru He straightened up and gave a slight hum of acknowledgment.
The milk in the pot began to emit white steam, and Xie Ru He turned off the heat. Glancing sideways, he noticed Shu Nian’s expression was still stunned, which made him pause before reaching out to pat her head. “I know.”
He could tell.
Back then, all her thoughts were very innocent; she said exactly what she meant, would never do anything she felt was wrong, and wouldn’t even allow such thoughts to cross her mind.
She couldn’t possibly have harbored any other feelings toward him.
Xie Ru He picked up the pot, circled Shu Nian, and walked toward the dining area.
Shu Nian instinctively followed behind him like a little tail. She climbed onto a nearby chair, watching as Xie Ru He poured milk into cups, and said glumly: “Back then, I just wanted you to grow taller.”
“…”
Compared to other classmates she wasn’t close with, Shu Nian cared more about Xie Ru He. She worried that Xie Ru He’s height might be surpassed by shorter boys, simply because he lacked proper nutrition and was disadvantaged by his circumstances.
Shu Nian would find that unfair.
She hadn’t paid much attention to what Xie Ru He might think at the time.
She just wanted to be good to him instinctively, without considering whether he might feel uncomfortable accepting these unearned things, even if they were just two cartons of inexpensive milk.
Thinking about it now, along with what she had just said,
Shu Nian began to feel uneasy.
Shu Nian felt that the term “boy toy” was not pleasant to hear.
When Deng Qing Yu used to say it, Shu Nian felt unhappy and argued with her several times. Shu Nian didn’t dare tell Xie Ru He about this, afraid he would also be upset.
After all, at that time, Xie Ru He’s family circumstances were indeed not very good.
At an age when everyone liked to compare and show off, Xie Ru He wore the same shoes year-round, and apart from his school uniform, he seemed to have few other clothes. His meals consisted only of plain rice and vegetables.
So frugal it made one’s heart ache.
Having poured the last drop of milk from the pot,
Xie Ru He glanced at her and casually asked: “So do you think I’m tall enough now?”
Shu Nian answered honestly: “Very tall.”
Xie Ru He’s eyebrows lifted slightly, and his mood seemingly improved. Then, he moved both cups of milk a bit farther from Shu Nian, instructing: “Don’t drink it yet. Don’t drink milk on an empty stomach.”
After saying this, he took the pot back to the kitchen.
“Oh.” Shu Nian immediately got down from her chair, following behind him again. “I didn’t think that way… At that time, Chen Han Zheng kept saying those unpleasant things to you, so I just…”
Xie Ru He took out a pack of toast from the cabinet and asked: “What unpleasant things did he say?”
Shu Nian was taken aback: “You don’t remember?”
Xie Ru He rinsed a knife under running water, dried it with a paper towel, and said nonchalantly: “Didn’t listen.”
Hearing this, Shu Nian thought seriously: “He said your grades were poor, that you were skinny like a bamboo pole. And also… that you didn’t hang out with other boys, but spent all day with me.”
Shu Nian couldn’t remember exactly what Chen Han Zheng had said, but it certainly wasn’t as mild as she described. Chen Han Zheng wasn’t very old at that time either, with a youthful temperament, and would use some offensive vocabulary that she couldn’t repeat.
“My grades were poor,” Xie Ru He said unconcernedly. “I was about 170cm tall then, weighing less than 50kg. And I did only spend time with you.”
“…”
Xie Ru He cut off the crusts of the toast and said matter-of-factly: “It was the truth, not something unpleasant.”
Shu Nian blinked, noticing that his expression showed no discomfort. She sighed in relief, feeling she had overthought things, and stopped pursuing the topic.
She stood beside Xie Ru He, watching him spread butter on the toast before placing it in the toaster. After a while, Xie Ru He suddenly asked: “Don’t you like tall guys?”
Not understanding why he brought this up, Shu Nian shook her head: “No, that’s not it.”
“Then your milk wasn’t wasted.”
“Hm? Hmm?”
“I drank it and grew taller.”
Shu Nian nodded foolishly: “That’s right.”
Xie Ru He’s pupils reflected a bright light, his eyelashes as dense as crow feathers, making his eyes appear even more profound. He tilted his head and asked softly: “And now I am—”
Shu Nian didn’t catch on: “Xie Ru He?”
Xie Ru He curved his lips: “What else?”
Shu Nian paused, suddenly understanding his meaning. She licked her lower lip and said slowly: “…my boyfriend.”
“Mm.” Xie Ru He looked away, rubbing his neck with his hand. “So it wasn’t wasted.”
After finishing breakfast,
Shu Nian wanted to clear the dishes and take them to the kitchen to wash. The next moment, Xie Ru He naturally took the plates from her hands and said: “Go change your clothes.”
Shu Nian let out a small “Ah”: “Are we going out?”
Xie Ru He reminded her: “To see the psychologist.”
Hearing this, Shu Nian stood silently in place, her expression appearing somewhat stiff, lost in thought.
Xie Ru He bent down to look at her: “What’s wrong?”
Shu Nian said softly: “I don’t want to go anymore.”
“Then tomorrow?”
“I don’t want to go tomorrow either.” Perhaps lacking confidence, Shu Nian didn’t look up, her eyelids drooping as she avoided his gaze, her voice barely audible. “I just don’t want to go.”
Xie Ru He paused for a few seconds before quickly compromising: “Alright, if you don’t want to go, we won’t.”
Shu Nian sighed in relief, obediently gathering the dishes: “Then I’ll wash them.”
Xie Ru He didn’t stop her, frowning as he watched her back. After quite a while, he walked over to stand beside Shu Nian, helping her put the washed items back in their places.
For the next few days,
The two interacted in this manner daily. They spent almost twenty-four hours a day together, with Shu Nian becoming particularly clingy, following him wherever he went. She didn’t speak more than before but seemed extremely insecure.
Shu Nian never mentioned wanting to go outside.
Occasionally when Xie Ru He brought it up, she would vaguely brush it off.
Except for Fang Wen Cheng bringing over purchased items according to Xie Ru He’s a list at fixed times each day, the rest of the time, their world contained only each other, no one else.
Shu Nian lost interest in most things.
She didn’t do anything else each day; apart from talking to him, most of the time she just sat beside him, staring blankly, looking wooden yet docile, like a doll.
Yet harboring a chest full of worries she wouldn’t tell him about.
Xie Ru He didn’t know what she was thinking, so he often tried to say things to amuse her.
Hoping to make her a little happier.
Only at these times would her expression change.
Xie Ru He quite liked this lifestyle.
After all, before Shu Nian came, he had lived like this, spending each day alone in the house writing songs, doing rehabilitation, and living a lonely and desolate life. Shu Nian’s arrival had made his life considerably more vibrant.
But this was only true for him.
Shu Nian was different.
She had things she liked and wanted to do; she shouldn’t be cooped up in this house every day, cautiously keeping him company. It was as if her radiance had been forcibly stripped away, causing her to gradually curl up inside her shell.
Not living happily at all.
This version of Shu Nian.
Like a tightly stretched string that could snap at any moment.
Xie Ru He looked up some information online. Noticing the time, he got up and gently pushed open the master bedroom door. Whether asleep or not, Shu Nian was currently curled up under the blanket, motionless.
He walked over.
Perhaps hearing his footsteps, Shu Nian immediately poked her head out from under the covers, a flash of wariness in her eyes that disappeared upon seeing him. Seemingly just awakened, she looked at him with drowsy eyes.
Xie Ru He asked: “Did I wake you?”
Shu Nian’s voice was nasal: “No, I didn’t plan to sleep that long anyway.”
Xie Ru He sat down beside her and casually asked: “Want to go out and play?”
Shu Nian hesitantly asked: “Where to…”
Xie Ru He suggested: “See a movie?”
After a few seconds of silence.
“I want to sleep a bit more.” Shu Nian buried her face back in the blanket and said in a muffled voice, “Can we just watch something at home later…”
Xie Ru He’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he hoarsely said: “Alright.”
Hearing this answer, Shu Nian revealed her large, round eyes from beneath the blanket, anxiously staring at him as if afraid he might be angry: “Are you mad?”
“No.” Xie Ru He reached out to touch her eyes. “Nian Nian, I want you to be happy.”
Shu Nian’s gaze froze for a few seconds before she said: “I’m not unhappy.”
Not being unhappy didn’t mean she was happy, though.
“That’s good then.” Xie Ru He forced a smile and comforted her: “Go back to sleep.”
Leaving the room, Xie Ru He returned to the living room and sat on the sofa. Looking at what he had just been searching on his computer, he scratched his head and then called Fang Wen Cheng: “Help me find a psychological expert.”
Fang Wen Cheng immediately agreed: “Yes, sir.”
Communication between the two had always been simple.
Just as Xie Ru He was about to hang up, he suddenly remembered something: “If…”
Fang Wen Cheng said: “Young master, you can speak directly if you have something to say.”
“If I were to talk to Shu Nian about marriage now…”
Xie Ru He didn’t know what was causing Shu Nian’s mood these days and worried it might be his fault. He slowly exhaled, his expression tired, not finishing what he was about to say.
On the other end, Fang Wen Cheng was silent for a few seconds before saying very seriously: “I think it’s a bit rushed.”
“…”
“I recall that you and Shu Nian haven’t been dating for very long.” Fang Wen Cheng said diplomatically, “You haven’t gotten to know each other deeply yet, and you haven’t gone through an adjustment period either. Suddenly bringing up marriage might frighten her.”
Xie Ru He’s eyelashes flickered: “Frighten her?”
“Yes.” Fang Wen Cheng thought carefully before giving a measured suggestion, “If it were me, I would date for at least three years before starting to consider marriage.”
Hearing this, Xie Ru He’s lips straightened into a line as he said lazily: “Why are you using yourself as an example?”
Fang Wen Cheng said: “Huh?”
Xie Ru He repeated his words deliberately: “If it were you, you would date for at least three years…”
Fang Wen Cheng didn’t know what he had said wrong but persisted: “Yes.”
At this point, Xie Ru He stopped speaking, not bothering to repeat further. He gave a light laugh, though his tone contained not a hint of humor, his expression obscure and unreadable: “Am I planning to marry you?”