◎ Twists of Feeling ◎

She had gone over Zhou Tan’s life again and again in her mind. The first turning point of his life had been the Burning Candles Tower case; the second was Emperor Ming’s ascension to the throne.

Though Su Chaoci, also an imperial tutor, was two years his senior, he’d been appointed to the chancellorship a full five years later than Zhou Tan. That Zhou Tan could ascend to the chancellorship at such a young age and with such thin seniority was closely tied to the achievements he had established at the time of Emperor Ming’s enthronement.

Near the end of the Yongning era, Emperor De had fallen gravely ill and secretly issued an edict intending to strip the Crown Prince of his position. The Crown Prince, somehow learning of this, decisively launched a palace coup. Chu Lin and the Imperial Guard held the palace under siege, and after two days of standoff, an army from Xishao suddenly appeared outside the capital.

The Crown Prince, having conspired with Xishao, had Chu Lin and the Left and Right Forest Guards executed before the palace gates. Song Chang died of shock and terror. As for the other officials who had opposed the Crown Prince’s ascension, some had gotten word beforehand and fled the capital, while most of the rest died within the Xuande Hall, their bodies dragged off to a mass grave outside the city.

After purging the court with ruthless efficiency, the Crown Prince hastily ascended the throne. More than half the officials of the Ministry of Rites were dead, leaving too few people even to arrange his enthronement ceremony properly. The imperial seal had been lost in the chaos, so he couldn’t even settle on a reign title.

That same month, the Prince of Jing’s grandson gathered lords and nobles from across the land to rise up in rebellion at Lin’an. Song Shiyan ordered Li Wei and the Xishao troops to hold the capital’s gates at all costs. Li Wei’s men behaved reasonably well, but though the Xishao troops didn’t dare cause any major uprising, they committed every kind of arson, murder, and plunder against anyone below the rank of nobility. When Song Shiyan questioned this, he was told it was merely “collecting a little interest to reward the troops.”

At the time, Song Shiyan was beset with troubles from every side and turned a blind eye, only sending them out a month later to campaign against the Prince of Jing’s grandson. Later, this entire force was wiped out under Yan Fu’s revitalized Lingxiao Army.

Historical records state that during the month the Xishao army occupied the capital, all order and propriety collapsed there, the laws were nearly abandoned, and the capital’s people, unable to flee, called them “the long-braided devils.”

Qu You had never known through whom the Crown Prince had arranged to borrow troops from Xishao. Now, understanding the Crown Prince’s true bloodline, she roughly grasped why Xishao had been willing to cooperate with him—the Crown Prince had ceded the nine western prefectures to Xishao, promising annual tribute at year’s end. Given that he himself carried Xishao blood, supporting his rise to power was pure profit for Xishao, with no downside.

Song Shiyan was no fool, though. Even having borrowed the troops, he never actually delivered the promised nine western prefectures, only claiming that the land could be ceded once the capital had stabilized and the army had returned to Xishao.

That was why, although the Xishao army had entered the capital, they had not simply massacred the city outright.

The matter she had just now recalled was precisely the detail buried within this period!

Behind the simple historical phrase “usurped the government for six months,” what had actually happened?

At the border, she had heard Yan Fu describe cities in the western territories once occupied by Xishao in earlier years. The poorer cities had fared better, since so few people lived there to begin with, but the wealthier ones—once occupied by Xishao—were put to the sword to reward the troops. Xishao and the people of Yin had generations of bloody enmity between them; Xishao never showed mercy, and the scenes left behind were often horrifically bloody, with rivers of blood running through the streets.

Yan Fu had once accompanied a general to reclaim a city previously occupied by Xishao, and the sight had haunted him for the rest of his life. After only three months of occupation, a place he had visited not long before lay utterly dead and silent, corpses of common people littering the streets. Children had killed each other fighting over a single piece of cake; when they saw the army enter the city, they had been so terrified they nearly threw themselves into the river.

Xu Zhi, sitting nearby, let out a heavy sigh, saying that in his younger years he too had witnessed the same scenes alongside Xiao Yue. Even Song Chang himself had been present during the reclamation of lost territory, his eyes red as he vowed that in his lifetime he would drive Xishao entirely out of Great Yin’s lands.

Though Song Chang had grown senile in his later years, he had remained firm and uncompromising toward Xishao and had never once sought peace with them. Throughout his reign, renowned generals had always guarded his realm for him, at least managing to preserve the borders.

Song Shiyan had never personally witnessed such hatred, had no visceral understanding of it, and with a birth mother who was herself from Xishao, his resolve had wavered—leading him to commit an error so grave it had earned him eternal infamy in the history books.

Thinking it through carefully now, before his usurpation and enthronement, Zhou Tan and the others must already have escorted the Prince of Jing’s grandson out of the capital. Those left behind in the city would have mostly been civil officials, powerless to protect the common people no matter how much they wished to.

The moment this thought struck her, Qu You made a decision almost instantly.

She suddenly turned back and walked toward Song Shiyan. Song Shiyan, assuming she was angry at being stopped, was still speaking unhurriedly: “If Youyou is unwilling, I’ll be truly heartbroken. After all, your father is only a court official, and Zhou Tan… is likewise only a court official. No one can protect you, and you can’t protect them either. Once I take the throne, I’ll be sure to look after your family well, and have them…”

Song Shiyan’s offer to make her Empress was, after all, only a stalling tactic to test her. There must be something he badly wanted to learn from Zhou Tan, but since his own people couldn’t get close to Zhou Tan, he’d resorted to dangling grand promises to trick her into spying for him.

If she refused, the soldiers surrounding the Qu residence gate would become his leverage—he had probably already decided to threaten her entire family’s lives if necessary.

That he was testing her at all was because of some sliver of genuine interest, one that even Qu You herself hadn’t expected.

She had shown no hesitation at all upon hearing the word “Empress.” To change her answer now would likely cost her his trust for good.

Qu You walked past Song Shiyan, heading straight into the “Ascending Clouds’ Joy” room behind him. Song Shiyan froze for a moment, then followed her in. Qu You immediately reached back and shut the door, then turned to him with a smile even she found unfamiliar on her own face.

That smile swept away all her earlier coldness and distance. Her thin eyelids lifted, her dark eyes fixed intently on him, her expression playful and rare.

“Your Highness has misunderstood my meaning. Just as you said yourself—I’m unwilling to remain merely a stepping stone behind a man. So the position of Empress, which every woman in this world dreams of, holds no interest for me at all. However…”

Qu You reached out and touched a finger to his throat, asking in a low voice, “How about Female Chancellor?”

Song Shiyan froze for a moment, then burst out laughing at the sight before him, laughing louder and louder, admiration and excitement flashing through his narrow eyes. “I knew it. I knew I hadn’t misjudged you.”

He reached to catch the hand she’d pressed to his throat, but Qu You swiftly withdrew it, not meeting his eyes, only saying, “Since I’ve decided to devote myself to Your Highness’s service, there’s more I can do than this. Don’t let yourself be so consumed by romantic feelings that you jeopardize the greater cause—if that happens, it’s both our reputations that will be ruined.”

Song Shiyan did not press the matter, only leaning his arm against the door, watching her closely. “Oh? Why has Miss Qu suddenly had such a change of heart? It makes me rather reluctant to believe you.”

He was, after all, quite perceptive—seeing her back off, he immediately stopped overstepping, even reverting to calling her “Miss Qu” again.

Qu You walked over to the table on her own and sat down, pouring herself a cup of wine—clearly a fine aged vintage, richly fragrant. “It’s not a sudden change of heart. It’s only that Your Highness kept insisting you understood me, yet still only wanted to lock me away in the deep palace. This false identity… if I truly accepted it, I’d spend my whole life hiding in the shadows. What would be the point, no matter how great the wealth and rank?”

Song Shiyan made an interested “Oh,” and sat down across from her. “Then…?”

Qu You swirled the wine in her cup, speaking with a mix of truth and pretense. “I want to serve as Your Highness’s right hand under my own name, to become a woman remembered in history. If the Zhou dynasty’s female Emperor could have a female chancellor at her side, why not this dynasty as well? Since childhood I’ve been well-versed in poetry, classical texts, policy essays, and the histories of past dynasties. I personally investigated the tower-fall case myself. Later, to protect my family, Zhou Tan and I agreed together that I would strike the petition drum a second time. And when I went to Ruozhou, it wasn’t for Zhou Tan’s sake either—it was because I wanted to understand the situation at the border… I tell you all this so Your Highness understands: this position, if a man can hold it, so can I.”

Since this was how Song Shiyan already saw her, she might as well go along with his own perception.

“If Your Highness gives me this chance, I’ll show you my worth myself. But I have two conditions.” Qu You said. “If Your Highness agrees, on the day you ascend the throne, I will personally take Zhou Tan’s head as your coronation gift—eliminating a traitor and killing my own husband in one stroke would only enhance both our reputations. It would give you good reason to promote me. Wouldn’t that serve us both?”

Song Shiyan laughed. “That sounds good. What are your conditions, Miss Qu?”

“First—though Your Highness trusts me, I dare not take the risk. My entire family cannot remain in the capital. I’ll arrange in the next few days to send them to Lin’an. I hope Your Highness won’t stand in the way.”

Seeing Song Shiyan hesitate slightly, Qu You smiled. “As long as I myself remain in the capital, Your Highness can naturally see my loyalty for yourself. I value my own life and fear death, but I cannot be coerced through threats. If Your Highness truly doesn’t trust me, you’re welcome to draw your sword and kill me right now.”

That was very much her character indeed, Song Shiyan thought, lowering his eyes—worst case, he could simply send someone to follow them to Lin’an. He readily agreed. “Very well, I agree. And the second?”

“As for the second…” Qu You said slowly, “Your Highness already knows that though Zhou Tan and I have been married for years, we have no children. The reason, in truth, is that I suffer from an unfortunate affliction—I simply cannot bear the filthiness of men… Your Highness’s dragon-and-phoenix bearing, I admire and revere, but cannot love. To disappoint Your Highness’s affections weighs on my conscience, so I can only do my best to repay it in other ways. Once this is accomplished, I ask that Your Highness permit me to remain unmarried for life. I am willing to devote my heart and effort entirely to the dynasty’s foundation, and love nothing else my whole life.”

Song Shiyan was somewhat taken aback.

The Crown Princess’s lack of children was, in truth, because he despised her—he had no wish for the daughter of a Grand General to bear his child, and so had secretly had her drink contraceptive medicine for years without her knowledge.

That Qu You and Zhou Tan had had no children after marrying had puzzled him too—even if the couple were estranged, with such a beautiful woman at his side, Zhou Tan surely couldn’t have played the saint every single day… As it turned out, the reason was that Qu You found men repulsive.

Thinking about it, it made sense. She had pleaded the cause of courtesans, treated her maids like sisters, and every woman around her adored her—not to mention her closeness with Gao Yunyue, and even the Crown Princess, after meeting her only once, had spoken of her repeatedly ever since.

A woman couldn’t possibly use lifelong celibacy as a mere pretext, and given that she hadn’t wavered at all during his earlier flattering speech, Song Shiyan believed her at least halfway. He shook his head with a sigh. “Since Miss Qu is so forthright, I won’t press further. Let us simply be sovereign and subject, and I’ll treat you accordingly, with due propriety.”

Qu You immediately raised her gilded wine cup and clinked it against his. “Since Your Highness understands me so well, today’s shared joy of ‘Ascending Clouds’ hasn’t been wasted—may the Big Dipper crack and the southern mountains crumble; may the Son of Heaven live eighty-one thousand years, and may we forever pour cups to his eternal life.”

Song Shiyan laughed heartily and downed the wine in his cup in one gulp.

By the time Qu You left Fanlou, the sun already hung high in the sky.

She passed through the soldiers Chu Lin had sent, climbed back into her small palanquin, and only once the curtain was lowered did she let out a long breath.

After so long spent putting on a performance of flattery, her face ached from smiling; only now, sitting here, did she feel the chill running down her spine.

Qu You reached out and touched herself, finding that she was drenched in cold sweat.

Author’s Note: [omitted]