HomeBu Rang Jiang ShanChapter 1004: Cannot Do It and Cannot Bring Myself To

Chapter 1004: Cannot Do It and Cannot Bring Myself To

Xie Huainan’s words — *the young cared for, and the old with somewhere to turn* — made Xie Qixi feel as though the person before her had become almost a stranger.

“Does it feel unfamiliar?”

Xie Huainan walked and spoke at the same time, his tone even and carried a faint smile.

“Ordinary commoners have their helplessness. Noble clans have theirs too — like ours.”

“Your great-uncle steers the ship. How the Xie family’s great vessel sails, and where it heads — it is your great-uncle who decides.”

“But a great family does not only need someone to steer. It also needs people to row, people to cast the net, and people to read the wind.”

He paused there, not continuing the metaphor further.

Yet Xie Qixi understood. The one who steers the Xie family is her great-uncle — yet the one who reads the wind is the Ninth Uncle standing before her now.

One holds the helm, one tends the sails.

Xie Huainan glanced at her and smiled. “Did that muddle you?”

Xie Qixi was not muddled, but she nodded anyway.

Xie Huainan said, “Simply put: just watch where the ship is sailing. In the beginning, it sailed with the current of the imperial court — the court’s various forms of favor were the wind, so there was nothing to worry about. As long as the Great Chu held, the Xie family’s vessel sailed smoothly.”

“But when the Great Chu faltered, the vessel had to change course. Some called us opportunists. Others called us weathervanes. But why not? Would it really make more sense to steer a vast family straight into a sinking ship?”

“Ordinary commoners look down on us for it. Yet if you switch positions — they are the Xie family and we are the ordinary commoners — it would be exactly the same… only we would be the ones looking down while they are the ones reading the wind.”

He walked back into the study, sat down. Xie Qixi had already poured his tea.

These rare chances to learn at Ninth Uncle’s side had never existed before. To hear the family’s wind-reader speak like this was of boundless value to Xie Qixi.

“When the family vessel sails toward Yang Xuanji, you must know what kind of person Yang Xuanji is — and adopt the corresponding strategy.”

“Now that the family vessel is turning toward Prince Ning, you must know what kind of person Prince Ning is…”

He looked at Xie Qixi. “Prince Ning desires genuine sincerity — so we give genuine sincerity.”

Xie Qixi said, “Yet what happened in Fengzhou and Dengzhou — the family’s branch members conducted themselves poorly. Prince Ning may still hold a grudge.”

Xie Huainan smiled and shook his head. “Do you resent tomorrow?”

Xie Qixi thought about it, then answered, “Tomorrow has not yet come. Why resent it?”

Xie Huainan said, “You do not resent tomorrow. Only today and yesterday can give rise to resentment.”

He took a sip of tea and continued, “No one would refuse tomorrow simply because of yesterday’s resentment. Anyone who would is destined to fail.”

He glanced at the account ledgers on the desk — ledgers Xie Qixi had placed there earlier, documenting the Xie family’s business affairs in Yuzhou over the past several years.

He pushed the ledgers back. “Take them. I don’t need to look at these.”

Xie Qixi said quickly, “But Ninth Uncle hasn’t reviewed the accounts yet. If there are any discrepancies or errors, they still need Ninth Uncle’s guidance.”

Xie Huainan said, “You see? You are still fond of clinging to yesterday.”

Xie Qixi was momentarily stunned.

Xie Huainan said, “A person has yesterday, today, and tomorrow. If yesterday the Xie family’s people in Fengzhou and Dengzhou made mistakes, then today the Xie family’s people must spare no effort to make amends. If today is done well and tomorrow is prepared for — then today and tomorrow both stand on our side. It is only yesterday that does not stand with us. So what portion do we hold?”

Xie Qixi answered, “Two-thirds.”

Xie Huainan said, “Wrong. We hold everything — because yesterday is already gone. Do today well, prepare for tomorrow, and we have the whole of it.”

He smiled slightly. “I have no desire to grieve over yesterday, nor to be angered by it. If every member of the Xie family could understand that today and tomorrow are what matter most — then the Xie family’s vessel will sail on and on.”

Xie Qixi felt she understood, and yet sensed something still lacking.

She knew Ninth Uncle was ready to rest, so she bowed and took her leave.

In the courtyard she stopped, turning over the words Ninth Uncle had just spoken. Dimly, she seemed to see the outline of a door — though the door had only opened the slimmest crack, with a glimmer of light flickering beyond.

Not long after Xie Qixi departed, a figure emerged from behind the study’s folding screen — a middle-aged man of about forty. Unremarkable in every way, with nothing at all to distinguish him, like the vast majority of middle-aged men in the world, mediocre to the point where his only recourse was to fantasize about his own greatness.

At this age, a man’s hair had already thinned, his face grown coarse, his figure gone slack. His income may or may not have been adequate. He neither accepted his lot nor resisted it. His own wife no longer had any desire to be close to him, yet he fantasized about young women from other households falling for him at first sight and throwing themselves at him. A man like this — give him a hoe and he was a farmer, give him a bamboo hat and he was a fisherman, hand him a saw and he was a carpenter.

Yet the middle-aged man who had appeared beside Xie Huainan was not entirely like that. He had a pair of eyes like a hawk’s or a falcon’s, capable of capturing prey with precision even in darkness.

“Third Master.”

The middle-aged man sat down across from Xie Huainan and asked curiously, “That girl is a bit slow-witted — why do you take such pains to teach her?”

Xie Huainan was the third son by the main line, so the man addressed him as Third Master, rather than Ninth Uncle as Xie Qixi did.

Xie Huainan poured a cup of tea for the middle-aged man. “Because the only Xie family members I can use are here in Yuzhou City.”

Only then did it dawn on the middle-aged man — he had entirely forgotten that Xie Huainan’s coming was not something the family had sent him to do.

Xie Huainan let out a soft sigh. “Elder Brother was wrong. He would not be persuaded, and I could not persuade him. So I had to come myself.”

The middle-aged man sighed in turn. “The master has listened to you his whole life — why is it that this one time he absolutely refuses?”

Xie Huainan said, “Because he finds it shameful.”

The middle-aged man fell silent.

Xie Huainan was quiet for a moment as well, then asked, “Qiu Qing, why did you come with me?”

Qiu Qing smiled. “Because I find the master irritating, and the master finds me irritating.”

Xie Huainan gave a helpless smile. “Life here is not as comfortable as at home. I’ve called upon nearly every resource I can muster. If even this fails to move His Highness Prince Ning — if he wants yet more — I’m not sure I have anything left to offer. I’m spent, and you might not even receive your wages.”

Qiu Qing said, “My wages are quite high.”

Xie Huainan said, “Yes, your wages are quite high.”

Qiu Qing laughed. “So what are you worried about? Even if you’re left with nothing, you still have my savings. Living a comfortable life as an ordinary man — are you afraid of that?”

Xie Huainan asked, “Would there be meat and wine at every meal?”

Qiu Qing said, “Depends on how long you live. If you live a thousand years, there definitely won’t be enough.”

The two looked at each other — and both began to laugh.

Xie family patriarch Xie Huaiyuan had not agreed to Xie Huainan’s suggestion, had refused to commit the whole family’s allegiance to Prince Ning.

Xie Huaiyuan felt that Prince Ning Li Chi was nothing more than a man of lowly origins — how could such a person endure for long?

And besides — look at what Prince Ning had done all along. Everywhere he arrived, he would raise his sword against the local noble clans and great families.

The Xie family had suffered heavy losses in Fengzhou and Dengzhou, and had sustained losses in Jizhou too. Xie Huaiyuan kept a careful account of every single one.

And so… that was why just now Xie Huainan had said those things to Xie Qixi about not clinging to yesterday. Xie Qixi only half-understood. Xie Huaiyuan understood not at all.

Xie Huaiyuan’s thinking was: the world says Prince Ning pays back every slight without fail. The Xie family had not been friendly to Prince Ning before — how could Prince Ning be friendly to the Xie family?

Even if he were friendly now, once an opportunity presented itself, Prince Ning — the type of man who could never be satisfied — would devour the Xie family until not even the bones remained.

Xie Huaiyuan offered many reasons, but none of them were the real one.

Xie Huainan knew his elder brother best. He knew that Xie Huaiyuan was unwilling to swear fealty to a man of lowly birth.

Pride was the kind of thing that could, at times, override reason entirely.

Qiu Qing asked, “Aren’t you afraid Elder Brother will take revenge on you?”

Xie Huainan asked in return, “Do you think I am a cruel or vicious person?”

Qiu Qing thought about it, then nodded. “Sometimes.”

Xie Huainan said, “The Pei family and my Xie family have always been on friendly terms — a deep relationship going back many years. Before I set out, I deliberately let word reach the Pei family, saying that the family had sent me to Yuzhou City and that the Xie family intended to side with Prince Ning.”

Qiu Qing thought about it as well, then sighed. “The people of the Pei family are just as stubborn as Elder Brother — so they would certainly go and inform the Tianming King, Yang Xuanji.”

Xie Huainan said, “You’ve gotten that far already — now think one step further: what will Yang Xuanji do? What will Elder Brother do?”

Qiu Qing was a martial person and not particularly fond of using his head.

But whatever Xie Huainan said, he would hear out.

Because in the Xie family, no matter how high his wages were, those Xie family members had only ever regarded him as a servant. Only Xie Huainan treated him as a friend.

Qiu Qing thought carefully for a good while and ventured, “If the Pei family has someone beside Yang Xuanji, then after informing Yang Xuanji, Yang Xuanji will certainly hold Elder Brother accountable.”

Xie Huainan nodded. “Continue.”

Qiu Qing said, “Right now, there are no military engagements in Jingzhou. The three powers are in a period of ceasefire. Yang Xuanji can free up troops and march from Jingzhou to reach Tingyang in a month.”

As he said this, his expression had already darkened. “This… is this not going too far? Even if Elder Brother would not hear you out, to bring the calamity of war upon him — that’s a bit…”

Xie Huainan asked, “Do you still stand with me?”

Qiu Qing answered without a moment’s hesitation. “I stand with you.”

Xie Huainan said quietly, his head bowed, “The step you’ve deduced is exactly what I am doing to harm the Xie family — bringing Yang Xuanji’s army to besiege Tingyang. Even if Elder Brother tries to explain, Yang Xuanji’s people won’t believe him. Because I’ve already come to Yuzhou City — ordinary people may not know that Elder Brother isn’t the one following my lead, but can Yang Xuanji not know?”

He paused, then continued, “Even if Yang Xuanji harbors doubts, once he has mobilized his forces, he will see it through to the end. He must show the other noble clans that he will not tolerate betrayal.”

“The Xie family will not be wiped out — but the wealth the Xie family has accumulated over many years may well be stripped away entirely by Yang Xuanji…”

He looked at Qiu Qing. “Having deduced this far — am I still harming the Xie family?”

Qiu Qing nodded and answered honestly, “Yes.”

Yet Xie Huainan shook his head. “Not at all — I am saving it.”

He rose and stood by the window, hands clasped behind his back, gazing out. His voice remained calm as he said, “What I have foreseen, Prince Ning has foreseen as well… If I am not mistaken, Prince Ning has already ordered the troops of the North River Camp to move closer toward Xie Xiu’s position.”

Qiu Qing was stunned. “And so?”

Xie Huainan said, “And so — An Nuan’s hundred thousand troops think they can pin down Xie Xiu’s hundred and fifty thousand and prevent them from withdrawing to defend Tingyang. But those hundred thousand will be utterly defeated without question. Do you know who commands the Ning Army’s North River Camp?”

Qiu Qing said, “I don’t. I’ve never paid much attention to these things.”

Xie Huainan smiled slightly. “Xiahou Zuo. The Xiahou Zuo who defeated the Black Warrior people — not just once. So what is An Nuan worth against him? He is destined to fall.”

“When the time comes, Xie Xiu’s army and Xiahou Zuo’s army will encircle the other force Yang Xuanji sends to attack Tingyang, trapping it in Jingzhou with no way out. They will face either annihilation or surrender.”

Xie Huainan turned back to look at Qiu Qing. “Can you guess what choices Elder Brother will have left by then? A man like Yang Xuanji — playing both sides, unworthy of trust — Elder Brother’s stubbornness and refusal to come to his senses mean the only thing left is to let Elder Brother feel some pain, so that he understands where the Xie family’s future lies.”

He exhaled heavily — and for once, visibly, his emotions seemed to swell and rise.

“Father, on his deathbed, said: if your elder brother heeds you, then serve him faithfully; if he will not heed you, and the family’s safety is at stake, then you may remove him from power…”

Xie Huainan gazed out at the sky — so vast, so boundless.

“I cannot do it. I cannot bring myself to do it. I cannot remove Elder Brother from power. But I can save the Xie family.”

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