Li Diudiu decided he was genuinely hopeless — and truly dense. Even if he’d seen through the fact that Gao Xining was too embarrassed to say directly it was about the food, he shouldn’t have said it out loud. How hurtful was that to a girl’s self-respect?

Thinking this, his guilt deepened further. So he tried his best to recover the situation. He scooted back up to the higher step, attempting to sit close to Gao Xining. Gao Xining responded by lifting her leg and positioning it pointedly — every time he moved close she acted like she was about to kick him.

“Lately…”

Li Diudiu was trying to find a topic to ease the awkwardness. Nothing came to mind for a moment. Looking at Gao Xining sitting there with her leg cocked threateningly, something suddenly occurred to him.

“Your legs have grown longer lately.”

Gao Xining’s eyebrow shot up.

Li Diudiu sensed immediately that things had taken a bad turn. He hastily stepped back several paces. “I’m not saying anything false — even with your winter trousers on, you can tell they’ve gotten longer.”

Gao Xining looked at that foolish figure before her, and suddenly felt she must have committed some terrible offense in a past life to have taken on such a burden — volunteering to find this insufferable wretch a match…

“Look — your padded trousers are really quite nice, with those little scattered flowers. Perfectly suited to you.”

Li Diudiu was still speaking, quite pleased with himself.

Gao Xining laughed, eyes narrowing slightly. She reached over beside her and felt around, then asked with a pleasant smile, “Do you remember what I once threw at Instructor Yan?”

Li Diudiu said, “You threw something at Instructor Yan? When was that? Oh!”

Gao Xining grabbed a clod of dirt and hurled it at him. Li Diudiu spun and ran. The clod caught him squarely on the backside, leaving a puff of yellowish dust billowing up.

Gao Xining turned and walked back into the courtyard, slamming the gate shut with a bang.

Li Diudiu stood there blankly, turned to look behind himself, craned to examine his own backside — and discovered that the clod of dirt had left a mark on him, and the mark was, improbably, heart-shaped…

Li Diudiu let out a sigh, thinking: no wonder people say a woman’s heart is as fathomless as the ocean floor. He had genuinely thought those scattered-flower padded trousers looked quite nice.

He figured that simply walking away now would make him look like he had no backbone, so he steeled himself and walked to the Headmaster’s gate, raised his hand, and knocked.

At the very instant his fist went forward, the gate opened.

And so Li Diudiu’s little fist rapped twice on the chest of the maidservant, Ruo Ling.

The first time, Li Diudiu hadn’t registered what had happened — he only noticed the texture felt different from expected. By the second knock he’d worked it out, so he looked up and found himself facing Ruo Ling’s expression, which had erupted into furious flames.

Li Diudiu spun around to run. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was running in that moment, but running was the right call.

Ruo Ling shot out a hand and seized the back of his clothing. With one hand, she hoisted Li Diudiu off the ground.

By the time Li Diudiu was halfway up, he had already arrived at an important decision: he needed to back down entirely.

“Ling-jie, you look especially beautiful today.”

“You’re asking for a beating!”

Ruo Ling flung Li Diudiu into the air. He didn’t know how long he was airborne, but he did have time to wonder whether his compliment had been too ostentatious and over-the-top, which was why he’d been thrown.

He flipped himself in midair and landed steadily on both feet.

Ruo Ling stood in the gateway with her hands on her hips, projecting the unmistakable air of a single warrior holding a pass against ten thousand.

“Our young miss says that if you dare come near this gate again, she’ll have me open the door for you.”

Li Diudiu said, “Oh, that would be wonderful.”

Ruo Ling said, “By tearing it off its hinges and smashing it into your mouth.”

Li Diudiu swallowed a mouthful of saliva. He decided to cut his losses — if he couldn’t afford the trouble, he’d simply avoid it. He turned and started to leave. Ruo Ling, seeing that he already had this little patience, glanced to the side — reached out and pulled a bamboo cane from the broom standing nearby, and set off after him in long strides.

“Heavens above!”

Li Diudiu bolted immediately. Ruo Ling gave chase, and as she caught up, the bamboo cane swept across Li Diudiu’s backside with a sharp *crack* — the sound rang out rather crisply.

“That’s for bullying our young miss!”

One strike to the backside and Ruo Ling didn’t bother chasing further. She stopped suddenly when she noticed the heart-shaped dirt print already on Li Diudiu’s backside — and the bamboo cane had landed right in the center of the heart. Like an arrow through the heart.

Li Diudiu ran all the way back to his quarters in one breath, rubbing his backside as he stepped inside.

The moment he was through the door, he saw Xiahou sitting in his room, legs propped on the table, eyes half-shut, rocking contentedly — the very picture of ease.

Xiahou Zuo said, “Do you know what you look like right now?”

He didn’t even open his eyes, and yet clearly knew what had happened — which confirmed to Li Diudiu that Xiahou Zuo had definitely been watching from somewhere nearby when he’d made a fool of himself, then had rushed back in advance to strike a smug pose in his room.

Li Diudiu couldn’t be bothered with him. He went to sit down, but the moment his backside barely grazed the bed boards he stood right back up. That hit had been quite painful — there was probably a raised welt already, or more precisely two welts, since the bamboo cane hadn’t left one continuous mark — there was a gap in the middle.

Xiahou Zuo said, “I originally thought you had some sense of refinement — but after today’s performance I realize the truth: you are genuinely provincial, through and through. Not just in how you dress — your way of speaking is even more provincial. You think you can win a girl’s affection like that?”

Li Diudiu glanced over at him. “Do you spend all your free time following me around?”

Xiahou Zuo said, “I wasn’t following you — I just happened to be passing by…”

He retrieved something from inside his robe and held it out to Li Diudiu. “Feel like going out to see the world?”

Li Diudiu asked, “What’s this?”

Xiahou Zuo said, “The Academy’s year-end break is coming up. Prince Wu’s army is being relocated to the Xinzhou area, and my father plans to go to Xinzhou as well to observe the situation. Apparently the army intends to conduct a grand hunt in the Yan Mountains.”

Li Diudiu asked, “A hunt in the Yan Mountains? Mobilizing an army at the end of the year just for a hunt seems unlikely.”

Xiahou Zuo said, “Of course not… A big bandit chieftain in the Yan Mountains named Yu Chaozong has been gathering the remnant forces of various rebel armies defeated by Prince Wu. The Yan Mountain Camp’s numbers have suddenly swelled to tens of thousands.

“Prince Wu moving his main camp to Xinzhou at this moment, while staging a prominent hunt in the Yan Mountains, is clearly meant to put on a show of force for Yu Chaozong’s benefit. If you’re interested, come along.”

What he held out to Li Diudiu was a dossier. Inside was an official document, and two iron plaques — Prince Yu’s manor identity tokens, the same ones Xiahou Zuo had given Li Diudiu previously, which Li Diudiu had already returned.

Xiahou Zuo said, “It’s a rare opportunity to see Prince Wu’s troops in training — he’s been hailed as Dachu’s greatest war god…”

Li Diudiu thought for a moment before saying, “What about Yao Wuhen?”

Xiahou Zuo shrugged. “Not at the manor — apparently he was sent to the capital to deliver something.”

Li Diudiu said, “Then let’s go. I only asked because I was worried about making things awkward for you if I couldn’t hold myself back and ended up getting into a confrontation with your father.”

Xiahou Zuo said, “I understand. Pack your things — we leave tomorrow. Go home tonight and let your daoist master know.”

Li Diudiu agreed. “Right then, I’ll go now.”

Xiahou Zuo headed out first. Li Diudiu gathered a few things and left his quarters as well. He’d been gone less than the time it takes to brew a pot of tea when Gao Xining, who had been wrestling with her conscience and feeling increasingly guilty about her earlier behavior, arrived at the door to Li Diudiu’s quarters with a complicated expression.

“I know I was willful just now — I was in the wrong. I’m apologizing to you.”

Gao Xining stood outside the door and said quietly, “But you shouldn’t have provoked me either. I don’t know why — when other people annoy me, I can’t be bothered with them. When you annoy me, I want to hit you… That’s my fault. I’ll try to keep it in check in the future.”

She waited a while and heard no response from inside. A faint flush crept up Gao Xining’s face. “What more do you want from me? I came specifically to apologize. If you’re still not satisfied… if you want, you can hit me back once — the way I had Ruo Ling hit you on the backside. Just… just give me one light tap, nothing forceful.”

Even after she’d gone this far, Li Diudiu still said nothing. Gao Xining began to feel genuinely flustered — perhaps he really was angry.

“Don’t stay angry. The truth is, your bringing me sweets made me very happy — but even if you don’t bring me sweets and just come to see me, I’m also very happy. It’s not because of food that I look forward to seeing you once every ten days. It’s because…”

She looked up at the door, fell silent for a moment, then continued, “If you’ve forgiven me, say something. Or open the door.”

She waited a good while. No movement from inside. The door didn’t open.

“I… understand.”

Gao Xining lowered her head, let out a quiet sigh. “Since you won’t forgive me, then I…”

She suddenly laughed, shoved the door open hard. “Ha! Did you think I’d actually just leave? I’m not that petty — not like you. If you won’t forgive me, I’ll just keep apologizing… hmm? Where is everyone?”

The room was empty. Looking around, Gao Xining noticed that the few sets of clothes Li Diudiu owned in the wardrobe were gone too. She looked around the room in confusion. Then her chest seized — a panic struck her, ten thousand times worse than before.

On instinct she turned and ran outside. She sprinted all the way to the Academy gate, just about to ask the gatekeeper whether he’d seen Li Chi — when she saw her grandfather’s carriage coming back.

The carriage stopped at the gate. Headmaster Gao stepped down and looked at Gao Xining. “Where are you going?”

Gao Xining stood frozen.

“I… haven’t been able to see outside the gate for a long time. I just wanted to come to the entrance and take a look. I’m not going anywhere — just looking.”

Hearing this, a pang shot through Headmaster Gao’s heart. He immediately tried to comfort her. “That’s grandfather’s fault for being too strict with you. If you want to go out for a walk, come get in the carriage — grandfather will take you.”

For no reason she could name, Gao Xining burst into tears with a sudden sob. This startled Headmaster Gao thoroughly; he kept trying to comfort her, kept apologizing, utterly at a loss as to what to do.

Meanwhile, at that very moment, Li Diudiu was walking along the main street with his pack on his back, thinking to himself about how thoroughly he’d upset Gao Xining and what a fool he was.

He had agreed to go with Xiahou Zuo to see things around the Yan Mountains — but it wasn’t only that he wanted to watch how a great army drilled and executed a hunt. He also wanted to get out and see more of the world. He thought about how much Gao Xining loved animals — maybe he could go into the Yan Mountains and catch something rare and unusual to bring back for her.

He just didn’t know whether she’d prefer it braised or slow-simmered.

He’d also heard that the Yan Mountains were home to lingzhi mushrooms and all kinds of precious medicinal herbs. If he could find some to bring back for the Headmaster, maybe the Headmaster wouldn’t keep Gao Xining so restricted. Even if it wasn’t for coming to see him specifically — if she could just have a little more freedom, a little more ease — that would be good enough.

In Xiahou Zuo’s words, Li Diudiu was a person who was sometimes unnervingly clever and sometimes staggeringly oblivious. And on certain occasions, he was oblivious to a degree that was truly something.

Li Diudiu turned a corner and ducked into an alley. Not long after he disappeared into its mouth, Headmaster Gao’s carriage rolled past on the street behind him. Gao Xining was leaning out of the carriage window on the opposite side, eyes scanning everywhere — still searching.