Li Diudiu didn’t bother asking Xiahou Zuo exactly what he had done. Some things don’t need to be asked about in detail — just remembered.

The whole family relaxed now that the Yiji Hall matter had been resolved. Li Diudiu cheerfully suggested they buy some meat and vegetables and let him cook everyone a proper meal.

Nobody took him up on the offer.

Li Diudiu thought to himself: I may not be the kind of genius who can master anything at a glance, but am I really an idiot?

Fine. Since you all think so little of me, don’t blame me for dragging you out to eat instead.

The group found a noodle shop that looked decent enough. The portions were generous — the bowls were enormous — and for six people, ten bowls would be more than enough.

The other five each had one bowl. Li Diudiu had five all to himself.

Yu Jiuling watched his greatly admired Young Master Li Chi eat his noodles and felt a surge of emotion. He turned to Changmei the Daoren and said sincerely: “Daoren, you have it rough.”

Changmei the Daoren shook his head. “You don’t understand. Things used to be easy. Now somehow they’re not. I haven’t quite figured out when that changed.”

Yu Jiuling said: “I once met someone with an appetite like Young Master Li’s — maybe even bigger. Years ago, back in our Tang County, two tigers showed up out of nowhere and injured quite a few people.”

“The local hunters and the county officials mounted a prolonged hunt, but no one could do anything about those two great beasts. Eventually, after they’d caused enough harm to people and livestock, the county magistrate posted a reward: thirty silver taels to whoever could kill them.”

“Days passed with no one willing to take the job. Then, after several days, a father and son came from the neighboring county. The father was already in his fifties, and the son was around thirty. The two of them tore down the posted notice. The magistrate asked what they required, and they said: just keep them fed until the tigers were caught.”

Yu Jiuling gestured with his hands to show the size. “Steamed buns this big — the old man ate them with salted pickled vegetables, one after another, twenty-odd in a single sitting. I saw it with my own eyes. Still don’t know how he managed it.”

“But the man had real skill. In just three days, that father and son had hunted down both tigers. Afterward, the old hunter said that the two tigers hadn’t had much of a choice either. The older one had broken a fang and could no longer hunt wild animals. The younger one was probably its cub, still only half-grown when it came down from the mountain.”

Everyone listened with fascination. Xiahou Zuo, however, sensed there was more to this story than just a story.

So Xiahou Zuo asked: “And so?”

Yu Jiuling said: “So you can understand why someone like that would eat so much — they could hunt tigers and leopards. But our Young Master Li…”

Li Diudiu kicked his stool out from under him. Yu Jiuling nearly fell, but reacted with remarkable speed, dropping into a horse stance and catching himself before he hit the ground.

“You know, Nine Ling actually gave me an idea.”

Changmei the Daoren looked at Li Diudiu and said: “Your martial arts training is all over the place. It’s still functional, but what you lack is adaptability in actual combat.”

Li Diudiu felt a vague sense of foreboding creeping in.

Sure enough, Xiahou Zuo had caught the meaning in those words. He nodded and said: “That’s easy enough to fix. Later I’ll have someone go out and catch some wild wolves and wild dogs and bring them back. We’ll lock Li Chi in with them. If Diudiu makes it out alive, we keep that training going long-term. Stick with it long enough, and eventually the day will come when he gets bitten to death — and we’ll be able to save the money we’re spending on those five bowls of noodles.”

Li Diudiu said: “How vicious!”

Changmei the Daoren smiled. “That was just a joke. But it did give me a real idea.”

He paused, then continued: “There are still five or six days until the New Year. There should still be craftsmen taking work. I’ll go have a look around later and see if I can buy some lumber. I’m thinking of building a few things.”

Li Diudiu was fairly certain his master had nothing wholesome in mind.

After breakfast, Xiahou Zuo said he was going back to spend time with his mother, and invited them all to dinner at his home that evening. Yu Jiuling and the Seventh Chief both declined — they were still strangers to the household and didn’t feel comfortable showing up uninvited.

But Changmei the Daoren and Li Diudiu had already promised Xiahou Zuo, so that was settled. Yan the Scholar would join them too — the three of them would go to Xiahou Zuo’s home that evening.

With that arranged, Xiahou Zuo left first. Changmei the Daoren pulled Yan the Scholar along to look around and see if they could find some good lumber to buy — to build some training equipment for Li Diudiu to use at home.

Li Diudiu was fairly certain he intended to build torture devices.

“Let me show you around Jizhou City.”

Li Diudiu turned to Yu Jiuling and said: “You haven’t had a proper look around yet.”

Then he glanced at the Seventh Chief, who shook his head: “Not going.”

By now Li Diudiu had a rough sense of the Seventh Chief’s personality. Didn’t even know his name yet, but he’d already figured out the man’s temperament well enough.

“Fine. Just the two of us, then.”

Li Diudiu stood and was pulling Yu Jiuling toward the door when the Seventh Chief reached out a hand. “Give it to me.”

Li Diudiu asked: “What?”

“Your house key. I haven’t slept enough.”

Li Diudiu felt a little embarrassed and quickly apologized. “I thought you were heading back to the inn,” he explained.

The Seventh Chief said: “Not going back. No money left.”

He had already given his silver to Tian Zhanyuan’s wife, and the advance payment for the inn room had run out.

Li Diudiu said: “Then let’s go pick up your luggage and bring it to the house first.”

The Seventh Chief said: “No need. Don’t have any.”

With that, he took Li Diudiu’s house key and walked off.

After a few steps, he turned back and said: “Zhuang Wudi.”

Li Diudiu blinked: “What ‘Wudi’?”

Yu Jiuling said: “Pretending — like ‘pretending to be unbeatable’ — meaning someone who’s all bluster. Quite a big claim, the hard-to-live-up-to kind.”

The Seventh Chief looked at Yu Jiuling for a moment, then said: “My name.”

Yu Jiuling gave an awkward smile and said apologetically to Zhuang Wudi: “I’m sorry, I thought you were describing someone who was pretending to be unbeatable — like a sarcastic remark about someone showing off.”

Li Diudiu said: “Would you please shut your mouth?”

Zhuang Wudi shook his head and turned to leave, not another word.

Li Diudiu said: “I’m starting to think you might be the luckiest person in the world.”

Yu Jiuling asked: “Why do you say that?”

Li Diudiu said: “Because nobody’s beaten you to death yet.”

Yu Jiuling said: “I run fast. You think nobody’s wanted to?”

Li Diudiu looked at him and couldn’t think of a single thing to say that would adequately match the particular insufferable quality of Yu Jiuling’s expression and demeanor.

“Wudi…”

Yu Jiuling muttered to himself as they walked: “When his parents gave him that name, they must have had such high hopes — but did they just ignore the family name? Unbeatable… and also Zhuang — pretending…”

He looked at Li Diudiu: “Don’t you think — whether he’s actually unbeatable is debatable, but the pretending part is definitely real.”

Li Diudiu put some distance between them and said: “Don’t drag me into this.”

Yu Jiuling said: “He’s already gone… Ah! Why are you back?!”

He scrambled backward in fright, like a little white rabbit startled by a big bad wolf, hiding behind Li Diudiu and staring at the returned Zhuang Wudi with eyes gone wide with alarm.

Zhuang Wudi held out the key to Li Diudiu: “Don’t need it.”

Li Diudiu blinked. “Why not?”

Zhuang Wudi said: “I forgot. I can jump in.”

Li Diudiu said: “But you already took the key and walked off, then brought it back, and now you’re going to jump in instead… what exactly is the reasoning here?”

Zhuang Wudi said: “I’m going to sleep. Don’t want to have to get up and open the door for you.”

Li Diudiu nodded: “When you put it that way, I immediately understand.”

Zhuang Wudi looked at Yu Jiuling, was silent for a moment, then said: “Keep talking nonsense and I’ll castrate you.”

Coming from anyone else, Yu Jiuling might have taken it as a joke. But this was Zhuang Wudi speaking — a man who never joked.

“Yes yes yes, Elder Brother Zhuang, from now on I absolutely will not talk nonsense — not ninth degree, not tenth degree, not eleventh degree of nonsense.”

Zhuang Wudi turned and left, not a single extra word.

Li Diudiu watched his retreating figure and said: “Elder Brother Zhuang is truly a good person — he’s thinking about your future too. People are saying Prince Yu might want to make himself emperor. Let’s say for the sake of argument it’s true. In that case, he must be desperately short of talent. And what kind of talent is most scarce? Eunuchs!”

Yu Jiuling actually considered this seriously for a moment, then said to Li Diudiu: “That’s actually an option. Grand Eunuch Liu Chongxin could seize control of court affairs and hold absolute power over everything — could I possibly do any worse than Liu Chongxin? If I became a eunuch and one day held the entire court in my hand, I could finally take my revenge.”

Li Diudiu was startled: “Good man, can you please stop letting your mind go to these places?”

Yu Jiuling thought about it for quite a while, then shook his head: “Forget it. I just imagined it for a second and I couldn’t bear the pain.”

He asked Li Diudiu: “Have you ever seen it done?”

Li Diudiu said: “Where would I have seen something like that?!”

“I have.”

Yu Jiuling said as they walked: “I really have — just not a person’s. A pig’s. This big — like a ladle — you dig in, and then it comes right out…”

Li Diudiu shuddered.

“Stop talking. I can already feel it. That definitely hurts.”

Without realizing it, the two of them had wandered all the way to the Four-Page Academy. Li Diudiu only realized it when he arrived. He’d walked there on instinct. Since he was already here, he might as well go in and check on the divine falcon and the dog — and mainly to see…

But then Li Diudiu thought about what Yu Jiuling would inevitably say in front of Gao Xining, and decided it was better not to bother.

Just as he was hesitating, Gao Yuanzhang actually came out with Gao Xining and the young lady Ruoling, apparently taking the two girls out for a walk. Li Diudiu immediately pulled Yu Jiuling aside to make way, then bowed respectfully.

Gao Yuanzhang glanced at Li Diudiu with an expressionless face and gave a noncommittal sound, then walked on past with his hands clasped behind his back.

Gao Xining followed with an equally serious expression, but after walking a short distance she turned her head and blinked at Li Diudiu.

At this sight, Yu Jiuling’s face flushed slightly.

“Young Master Li, did you see that? That heavenly beauty — she smiled at me.”

Li Diudiu sighed and said: “Nine Ling. You know, at this point the number of people in our group who don’t want you dead has gotten pretty small. If you keep talking nonsense, I might just cross over and join the side that does.”

Yu Jiuling suddenly laughed: “Ah… so that’s how it is!”

Li Diudiu’s face reddened: “What do you mean, ‘that’s how it is’?”

Yu Jiuling said: “You’re jealous of me!”

Li Diudiu looked at Yu Jiuling’s face and nodded: “Fine… let’s go with that.”

He was just about to grab Yu Jiuling and give him a beating when he saw a carriage stop in the road. Xu Qinglin, as if by chance, stepped down from the carriage and bowed a greeting to Gao Yuanzhang, then warmly invited the whole party to board.

Gao Yuanzhang apparently felt it would be awkward to refuse, so he brought Gao Xining and the young lady Ruoling into Xu Qinglin’s carriage. As the carriage passed in front of Li Diudiu and Yu Jiuling, through the window Li Diudiu caught Xu Qinglin’s eye — and the man smiled at him.

Seemingly quite amiable. Actually quite provocative.

“A romantic rival!”

Yu Jiuling immediately declared: “That is absolutely a romantic rival!”

—