Xiahou Zuo hadn’t expected that Li Diudiu and Gao Xining would actually go set up a street stall to sell their lollipops. Li Diudiu doing this was one thing — Li Diudiu was someone who had coins in his eyes — but Gao Xining actually going along with him? Wasn’t she afraid of Director Gao finding out and scolding her?

In Chu society, the four estates were deeply observed: warriors-scholars, peasant farmers, artisans, and merchants — merchants ranked lowest. Li Diudiu was a scholar; a scholar going into petty trade would have people pointing at his back and vilifying him for the rest of his life.

If Director Gao found out about this, he might very well expel Li Diudiu outright.

But Li Diudiu was no fool. He dressed up in disguise — he certainly wasn’t going to go sell lollipops in his Academy uniform.

He and Gao Xining had worked it out: Gao Xining would hide at a distance and watch. Li Diudiu changed into different clothes and smeared his face with all manner of colorful mess — the children of the Western Frontier got a ruddy windburn on their cheeks from the plateau, and what Li Diudiu had smeared on himself was a riot of purples and crimsons.

Before selling, Li Diudiu also taught Gao Xining that for merchandise to sell well, you needed a shill. Gao Xining was naturally that shill.

Li Diudiu also coached her: she should read the situation. Once he shouldered his carrying pole and walked toward a busy area, she should go up and buy one, then say several things in an exaggeratedly enthusiastic voice.

Something like: “Wow, how adorable!”

And: “Wow, how delicious!”

More or less like that.

For Gao Xining this was her first time doing anything like this, and she found it both embarrassing and thrilling. She waited for Li Diudiu to reach a crowded area, then charged forward — and immediately, without even needing to settle in, found herself in the role.

“Young peddler, what are you selling?”

Li Diudiu answered, “Loneliness.”

Gao Xining: “Ah?”

Li Diudiu said, “Just joking… nobody’s looked over yet. Wait until I’ve stopped over there before you come ask.”

Gao Xining: “Nobody looked? But it’s easier to say things without anyone watching.”

She cleared her throat, then let out a great big “Ah” — and every person in the vicinity instantly turned to look, each one thinking some creature had just been stepped on and revealed its true form.

“How adorable!”

Gao Xining said with a wildly exaggerated look on her face. “It’s just too adorable!”

A young woman who appeared to be about twenty-five or so, passing nearby, came to a halt and looked Li Diudiu over carefully, then nodded: “This little fellow is reasonably good-looking, but you girl are being way too dramatic — he’s not that adorable.”

Li Diudiu: “…”

Gao Xining pointed at Li Diudiu’s candy: “I’m talking about these.”

The young woman leaned in for a closer look, then burst out laughing: “These really are adorable — they look just like a…”

And she gave Li Diudiu a meaningful look.

The three middle words she said weren’t entirely clear — apparently she still had some small measure of restraint. Chu customs were open by nature, quite unlike what the great Confucian scholar Gao Shaowei demanded of his students. Men attending banquets and bringing their wives or concubines was entirely normal; bringing a beloved lady of the pleasure houses was also perfectly fine, and rather than being condemned for it, they’d be praised for their rakish flair. Women drinking and playing finger-guessing games in such company was normal too — Chu people called it spiritedness, and admired it greatly.

So if one saw a table of women sitting somewhere knocking back cups of wine, there was no need to be scandalized — they might even be heading together afterward for an evening’s amusement at a rather different kind of establishment.

Those three middle words the young woman didn’t say clearly, the first was “small” and the last was a repeated syllable — and that was already enough, especially paired with her pointed look at Li Diudiu afterward, to send Li Diudiu’s face instantly scarlet.

“Buy one, the little peddler looks like fun.”

The young woman asked, “How much?”

Li Diudiu said, “Ten copper coins each.”

The woman asked, “Is it good?”

Li Diudiu nodded, “If it’s not good, no charge.”

The woman bent down, her eyes level with Li Diudiu’s eyes, face so close her breath could be felt, and said, “But what if your sister here just says it’s not good? Good or not, I’ll say it’s not good.”

Li Diudiu thought: so you’re shameless, are you?

But his face remained perfectly guileless as he said, “Don’t worry — I don’t tell lies.”

The woman bought one, peeled off the paper wrapping, put it in her mouth, and found the little bamboo stick quite convenient for holding. The flavor was pleasant enough too, so she nodded.

“Sister will help you drum up business.”

She beckoned with a wave: “Sisters — there’s a little fellow over here selling something, it’s quite the sight.”

A flock of girls came over from not far away, like a swarm of gorgeous butterflies descending all at once. This bevy of chirping birds surrounded Li Diudiu, and his nostrils were engulfed in the scents of rouge and face powder.

He took one look and knew things were heading somewhere bad — these girls were not ordinary civilians.

One of them, a young woman of around twenty, crouched down and studied Li Diudiu’s face, then smiled: “Look at that little face — all dirty.”

She took out a sweetly fragrant handkerchief and wiped Li Diudiu’s face, cleaning away the colorful mess he’d smeared on, revealing the clean-featured face beneath. When she saw it clearly, the young woman’s eyes lit up ever so slightly.

“What a pretty little peddler after all.”

Gao Xining snatched Li Diudiu and pulled him behind her. The young woman who’d wiped his face immediately laughed, turning to her companions to say, “Look at this little girl — so young and already keeping men for herself.”

Li Diudiu frowned: “Don’t talk nonsense!”

As if she was afraid of him — she reached out and pinched his cheek: “Look at this little hero, already knows how to protect his lady.”

She smiled at Li Diudiu: “Come let your sister give a kiss to those pretty little cheeks, and your sister will buy all your candy.”

Li Diudiu shouldered his pole and grabbed Gao Xining by the arm: “Let’s go!”

Gao Xining glared fiercely at the young woman as they left. A burst of laughter rose behind them, as those women howled and doubled over with amusement.

Li Diudiu walked and said, “I’m telling you now — when you help me find a wife in the future, don’t let her be anything like that.”

Gao Xining nodded vigorously: “Right, absolutely not that type. Way too aggravating.”

Li Diudiu: “Exactly.”

Gao Xining: “She even pinched your face.”

Li Diudiu said, “So you think I came off worse?”

Gao Xining said, “Didn’t you?”

Li Diudiu said, “Then I’ll just go back and pinch her back.”

Gao Xining drove a kick into Li Diudiu’s backside: “Don’t you dare!”

Li Diudiu let out a grunt. Gao Xining thought she’d kicked him too hard, and immediately started apologizing: “Sorry, sorry — did I hurt you?”

Li Diudiu shot her a look: “She ate the candy and I forgot to collect the money…”

He thought about it more and more and felt he simply couldn’t leave it at that. He put down the carrying pole, turned back, walked up to the young woman, and extended his hand: “My candy money!”

“Ha ha ha ha ha…”

This set those women laughing themselves to pieces all over again, nearly collapsing from it. Li Diudiu couldn’t understand what was so funny. The woman who’d pinched his face took a string of copper coins and pressed them into Li Diudiu’s hand, then pinched his cheek once more.

“This little fellow is such a delight — when you grow up you’re going to drive people mad. Once you’re grown, come find your sister at the Spring Harmony House, and I’ll teach you how to play some games.”

Li Diudiu counted out the correct amount of copper coins and returned the rest: “I won’t take what’s extra.”

This left the women all somewhat stunned, their laughter fading. They stared at Li Diudiu with odd expressions, as if they found him a strange creature altogether.

“Just keep it all.”

The young woman said, “If you feel it’s too much, give us back the candy.”

Li Diudiu considered this — fair enough. In full view of Gao Xining’s astonished gaze, he went back and retrieved all the candy, then brought it over and gave it to the women. When he returned, he found Gao Xining staring at him with a face like frost.

“You actually sold it to them after all!”

“I…”

Li Diudiu tried to explain, but Gao Xining turned and walked away. Li Diudiu could only run to catch up, explaining himself until his voice was nearly hoarse. Then Gao Xining suddenly laughed and looked at Li Diudiu’s eyes: “One more rule — when you look for a wife, you can’t find one who throws tantrums like this either. Understood?”

Li Diudiu: “Are you feeling all right…”

Gao Xining walked ahead, hands clasped behind her back, that ponytail swinging. Li Diudiu suddenly noticed that just now her ponytail hadn’t been swinging — it had been hanging straight down. Which meant she had really been genuinely angry before.

But then suddenly she wasn’t anymore. Why?

At his age he didn’t understand girls’ minds, and truthfully some men never come to understand them even after a whole lifetime.

Gao Xining felt it wasn’t Li Diudiu’s fault, so she couldn’t be angry at him indefinitely — but she still had to express her feelings for a moment. That was her stance; she couldn’t not have any stance at all.

She needed Li Diudiu to know what was wrong.

Li Diudiu caught up to her and asked, “Are you really not angry anymore?”

Gao Xining turned and looked at Li Diudiu with the gravity of an elder offering wisdom: “Li Chi, you can’t yield to what only appears to be a fair transaction. You want to make money — have this happen once and there’ll be a second time, your bottom line will slip lower and lower and lower. Eventually you won’t be able to stop yourself from shouldering that carrying pole and selling at the door of the pleasure houses, because the sales come fast there. You’ll think you’ve made more money, but you’ll have changed yourself in doing it.”

Li Diudiu hadn’t thought any of this through when he did it. He genuinely had felt that selling the right quantity of candy for the right quantity of coin was fair and simple. Gao Xining’s words struck him like a sudden jolt in the chest… Have it happen once and there’ll be a second time; your bottom line will slip lower and lower.

“I was wrong!”

Li Diudiu took a deep breath, then bowed with full sincerity in apology.

He looked down at the money pouch in his hand: “Let’s not keep this money.”

Gao Xining immediately snatched the money pouch away: “Why give it up? The money was earned honestly selling candy. If you’ve already lost some integrity, and then also lose this money, don’t you think you’d be an even bigger fool?”

Li Diudiu felt that Gao Xining, at certain moments, was more of a life mentor than even his own teacher — she clearly wasn’t much older, and yet the way her mind worked was far more mature than his.

The two of them chatted as they walked back to the Academy. They had barely gone through the gate when they saw Xiahou Zuo standing there with an amused look on his face.

He asked with a tone of gleeful mischief, “So, champions — how was business? Are you rich yet?”

Gao Xining held up the money pouch and shook it: “See this?”

Xiahou Zuo stared. “Has the intelligence of the common people of Jizhou really sunk this low? You put a stick in a piece of candy and they’ll actually buy it?”

Gao Xining said, “You did make a bet.”

Xiahou Zuo naturally wasn’t going to go back on his word. He asked, “Name your condition. What do you want me to do?”

A small fox’s smile spread across Gao Xining’s face.

—

The next day, in a different market, a disguised Xiahou Zuo stood in the middle of the surging crowds, holding a board in his hands, with an eye patch over one eye to avoid recognition.

“Candy for sale! Lollipops! Big Iron Hammer Lollipops!”

The expression on his face was absolutely priceless.

“Come one come all, don’t miss it! Big Hammer Candy, delicious! Small operation, prices cut for promotion!”

Li Diudiu and Gao Xining stood nearby grinning, looking like two hamsters baring their teeth, laughing so hard they couldn’t close their mouths.

—