HomeFalling In LoveZhui Luo - Chapter 25

Zhui Luo – Chapter 25

The taxi stopped at the entrance of Zhou Wan’s residential complex. Lu Xixiao carried her on his back up to the third floor, then set her down.

She was nearly asleep when Lu Xixiao turned her face toward him and asked, “Where are your keys?”

“In my backpack.”

He grabbed her backpack and turned it inside out, finally finding her house keys in a side compartment. Just as he was about to unlock the door, Zhou Wan stopped him.

“Wait.”

Lu Xixiao frowned and turned his head.

Still clutching her keys, she slowly slid down against the doorframe until she was sitting on the ground.

Being drunk wasn’t pleasant, but it did numb that painful nerve. She didn’t entirely regret drinking this time.

“I’ll sit here for a while before going in,” Zhou Wan said. “Until the effects of the alcohol wear off.”

If her grandmother saw her like this, she would worry all night and fret about it for days afterward.

Lu Xixiao looked down at her for a moment before saying, “For someone who gets drunk after just a few drinks, you think the effects will wear off quickly?”

Zhou Wan had no experience in this area: “Will it take long?”

“You’ll freeze into an ice stick before it wears off.”

“…”

Lu Xixiao kicked her shoe lightly: “Come to my place to sober up.”

Zhou Wan was stunned for a moment.

If anyone else had made such a suggestion, it would have seemed suspicious, but coming from Lu Xixiao, it was just a casual proposal.

It was indeed too cold, and staying in the stairwell for even half an hour would surely lead to a cold.

But going to a man’s home in the middle of the night – Zhou Wan knew it wasn’t proper.

“It’s fine, I’ll just stay here. That would be too much trouble for you,” Zhou Wan said.

“Get up.” Lu Xixiao impatiently grabbed her collar and pulled her to her feet. “You can go back once you’re sober.”

Zhou Wan started to say something, but Lu Xixiao clicked his tongue in annoyance, bent down, and picked her up around the waist, striding downstairs.

Zhou Wan struggled briefly but stopped when she felt his ice-cold hands.

He had carried her all the way here on his back, and his hands were frozen from the bitter wind.

Zhou Wan gently placed her hand over the back of his.

Lu Xixiao glanced down at her, subtly tugging up the corner of his mouth.

Fortunately, Lu Xixiao’s place wasn’t far. With his long strides, they arrived quickly.

He set Zhou Wan down and tossed some cotton slippers in front of her: “Go home once you’re sober.”

Zhou Wan nodded and thanked him.

Lu Xixiao ignored her and went straight to his bedroom. Zhou Wan sat down on the sofa and looked around. The ashtray on the coffee table was full, but besides that, there was no sign anyone lived there – not a trace of life’s warmth.

Perhaps because of all the marble tiles, the temperature here was particularly low, with a hint of coldness.

Soon after, the sound of running water came from the bedroom behind her.

Lu Xixiao was showering.

Zhou Wan’s eyelashes trembled slightly.

At this moment, she finally felt an undeniable awkwardness.

It was very late, pitch black outside, with nothing in the wild, unkempt courtyard – like an isolated island fallen into this city.

On this lonely island were only she and Lu Xixiao.

It was… quite improper.

Because she had drunk too much, her breath carried the smell of alcohol, hot and burning, making her whole body feel flushed and warm.

So the marble coffee table became her “antidote.” Zhou Wan knelt on the floor mat and slowly lowered her neck, pressing her face against the cold marble surface. Finally getting some relief, her head cleared a bit, though her eyelids grew increasingly heavy.

After about ten minutes, the bedroom door opened.

Lu Xixiao came out wearing gray and white loungewear. Seeing Zhou Wan sprawled on the coffee table, he raised an eyebrow: “What are you doing?”

Zhou Wan sat up, one cheek numb from the cold, and mumbled, “Nothing.”

“Want to take a shower?”

Zhou Wan paused: “No need.”

He let out a meaningful snort and sat down in the single chair, lighting a cigarette.

Zhou Wan leaned back again, scratching her neck. Following her movement, Lu Xixiao’s gaze suddenly fixed on her neck, his brows furrowing: “What’s wrong with your neck?”

“What?”

He sat up and pulled away Zhou Wan’s hand from her neck.

The young woman’s fair, slender neck was covered in red spots, with red scratches where she had been scratching.

“Itchy?” he asked.

Zhou Wan nodded.

“Are you allergic to alcohol?”

Zhou Wan was startled: “I don’t know.”

She touched her neck, suddenly remembering that when she was young, there was a time she ate wine-fermented chicken. She didn’t like the taste and only had one bite, but that night her whole body became itchy, and it only went away after her father bought her allergy medicine.

“Ah.” Zhou Wan looked up at Lu Xixiao in realization. “I think I am.”

He cursed under his breath and turned back toward his bedroom: “I’ll change clothes. We’re going to the hospital.”

Zhou Wan didn’t want to trouble him any more, feeling increasingly guilty. Besides, at this point, she didn’t particularly want to go to the hospital.

“Lu Xixiao.” Zhou Wan spoke up, “Just buying some allergy medicine would be fine. Let’s not go to the hospital.”

He frowned but said nothing.

Zhou Wan continued: “Really, when I was little, taking medicine was enough.”

He asked: “Do you remember which medicine?”

“Yes,” Zhou Wan said. “Let me see if the pharmacy can deliver.”

Lu Xixiao nodded and sat back down.

They sat together in silence, Lu Xixiao playing with his phone, and Zhou Wan dozing off.

Just as she felt herself about to fall into deep sleep, the doorbell rang, startling her from her light slumber.

She opened her eyes to find Lu Xixiao already getting up to answer the door.

Zhou Wan heard him say thanks as he came back with a bag.

Zhou Wan read the instructions and swallowed two pills.

Lu Xixiao put the water glass aside: “Stay here for a while. If you still feel unwell, we’ll go to the hospital.”

“Okay.” Zhou Wan propped up her heavy head. “You go to sleep. I’ll head back by myself later.”

“Fine.” He got up and went to his bedroom.

*

The first ray of sunlight pierced through the gap between the curtains, falling directly on Zhou Wan’s eyelids. Her eyelashes trembled as she slowly opened her eyes, frowning.

She saw the glass ashtray first, reflecting a harsh glare.

Zhou Wan raised her hand to shield her eyes.

Her thoughts gradually returned.

That’s when she remembered she was at Lu Xixiao’s place.

She had fallen asleep last night without realizing it and had slept through the night.

Zhou Wan suddenly straightened up, and the blanket on her shoulders slipped to the floor. She was startled to notice the air conditioning was set quite high – probably Lu Xixiao’s doing.

Without realizing it, she had troubled him again.

Zhou Wan sat on the carpet, her back against the sofa edge, head tilted back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling as she slowly exhaled, trying to use this method to cast all her worries from her mind.

Lu Xixiao wasn’t awake yet; the bedroom was quiet.

Zhou Wan folded the blanket and placed it on the sofa.

Looking up, she saw the photo of Lu Xixiao’s mother on the table nearby – a young, beautiful, and gentle woman.

Lu Xixiao resembled his mother, but their auras were completely different.

One was gentle to the extreme, the other cold to the extreme.

Zhou Wan recalled what Jiang Yan had said before – “We’re half-siblings, same father different mothers. His mother was the mistress who stole everything that should have belonged to me and my mother.”

She had never asked Lu Xixiao about these things, nor could she.

But she always felt it couldn’t be as Jiang Yan had described.

Lu Xixiao’s relationship with his father was very poor, and his current personality was largely influenced by his mother. Zhou Wan felt that many of the good qualities hidden within him came from his mother’s subtle influence.

She frowned and shook her head, refusing to think about it further.

There was also a bookshelf in the living room filled with books.

It was covered in dust, clearly untouched for a long time.

These books were probably ones Lu Xixiao’s mother had loved to read or collect when she was alive. Zhou Wan found a pack of wet wipes in her bag and cleaned each book’s cover one by one, then dried them with paper towels and put them back in place.

Among them was one book with a dark green cover, bound rather crudely, standing out among the collection.

Zhou Wan lowered her eyes to read the name – Shostakovich.

Opening it, she found sheet music inside.

The first page contained his biography.

Shostakovich was Soviet, born in that special era of the 20th century when black terror enveloped the nation and everyone lived in fear. Many artists spoke out for justice and sacrificed themselves for justice, but only Shostakovich chose silence, becoming the “court artist” despised and disdained by the world.

He was an artist whose evaluation by the world was mixed with both praise and criticism.

At the bottom of the biography was a line –

“Love me when I’m dirty, not when I’m clean. Everyone loves me when I’m clean.”

Zhou Wan paused, then read it again.

In her ears echoed Lu Xixiao’s voice from yesterday when he said these words to her.

Deep and resolute.

Zhou Wan lowered her eyes and put the book back in its place.

She was grateful to Lu Xixiao; at least yesterday, those words had truly given her strength.

So even after that physical examination report, when she no longer needed Guo Xiangling’s remaining 150,000 yuan, and no longer needed to take advantage of Lu Xixiao’s favor, she still hadn’t cut all ties with him.

She was willing to stay by his side, to keep him from being so lonely, to make him as happy as possible.

Until the day he became completely tired of her.

When that day came, she would leave, ending this mishap completely.

Zhou Wan tidied up the living room and waited a while, but Lu Xixiao still hadn’t gotten up, so she quietly left to go to the porridge shop next door.

She bought half a rice ball for herself and ate it on the way, bringing back a bowl of porridge and a basket of crab roe xiaolongbao for Lu Xixiao.

Pushing open the half-closed door, Zhou Wan went to the kitchen to take out the breakfast and put it in porcelain bowls.

Unsure if Lu Xixiao was still sleeping or already awake, Zhou Wan walked to his bedroom door to listen, worried the breakfast would get cold if she waited too long.

She could hear very faint talking from inside the bedroom.

He must be awake and on the phone.

Zhou Wan knocked gently: “Lu Xixiao, want breakfast?”

No answer.

But the voice continued intermittently.

She waited a moment, feeling something wasn’t right, and knocked again: “I’m coming in.”

After half a minute, Zhou Wan pushed open the door.

The bedroom curtains were tightly drawn, without a trace of light, and as the door opened, letting light spill in, Zhou Wan quickly closed it to avoid disturbing him.

The bedroom became dark again.

It took Zhou Wan a long while to adjust to the darkness and make out Lu Xixiao on the bed.

He wasn’t awake but lying there with deeply furrowed brows, large beads of sweat on his forehead, face pale, hands tightly gripping the blanket with visible veins, speaking in his sleep as if in some kind of delirium.

The bedroom was very quiet.

Zhou Wan stood motionless, startled by this version of Lu Xixiao.

Vulnerable.

She saw vulnerability in Lu Xixiao.

Like delicate porcelain standing on a cliff’s edge, teetering.

One gust of wind and it would fall from the cliff, shattering, forever changed.

She made out Lu Xixiao’s sleep-talking –

“Mom, don’t.” His voice trembled. “Please… don’t jump…”

Don’t jump.

Zhou Wan’s heart trembled.

She remembered what Jiang Fan had told her before – Lu Xixiao’s mother had committed suicide by jumping from a building.

Realizing she had accidentally intruded on Lu Xixiao’s private space, she frantically tried to leave, but the next moment Lu Xixiao suddenly sat up, drenched in sweat, breathing heavily, his chest heaving.

Zhou Wan stared at his expression, thinking she could probably guess the ending of that dream.

Who knew how many times Lu Xixiao had repeatedly experienced such nightmares?

Some nightmares bring relief upon waking – thank goodness it was just a dream.

But each time Lu Xixiao woke up, he discovered that it wasn’t just a dream.

This was reality.

The hell from his dreams was the place he inhabited.

It took Lu Xixiao a full two minutes to steady his breathing before he looked up and saw Zhou Wan standing at the door.

“Lu Xixiao.”

Zhou Wan’s voice was very soft as she tried to comfort him, “We can’t bring back those who are gone. Your mother would surely want to see you happy and at ease every day. Wherever she is now, know that she loved you.”

Lu Xixiao suddenly stepped out of bed, looking coldly at Zhou Wan, regarding her with the indifference one would show a stranger.

“Zhou Wan, you know nothing, yet you dare say such things to me. Don’t fucking think too highly of yourself.”

His eyes carried an oppressive force that weighed heavily on Zhou Wan’s shoulders as he said coldly, “Get out.”

Zhou Wan couldn’t move her feet.

Lu Xixiao’s eyes were bloodshot as he enunciated each word coldly: “Get. Out.”

*

Jiang Fan wasn’t wrong – the topic of “mother” was an absolute forbidden zone for Lu Xixiao.

Zhou Wan dragged her aching feet back home, where her grandmother was sitting by the window cutting paper decorations. Sunlight slanted in, warming half the table.

“Grandmother.”

“Wan Wan, you’re back. Where did you go so early? When I woke up, you weren’t in your room.”

Zhou Wan paused, just realizing she hadn’t told her grandmother about not coming home last night. Fortunately, her grandmother hadn’t noticed.

“Had something to do.” She vaguely brushed past the topic and said, “Don’t cut any more decorations, it’s bad for your eyes.”

“I’m cutting them slowly. There are just two months until New Year’s. We can put them up then, make everything look more festive.”

Zhou Wan smiled, but the smile vanished instantly.

She was simply too tired to maintain it.

“Grandmother, I’m going to rest in my room.”

“Mm, alright.”

Zhou Wan returned to her room, reapplied the ointment, and lay down on her bed.

The peach butt doll sat at her bedside. Zhou Wan hugged it to her chest, staring blankly at the ceiling.

*

For the next half month, Zhou Wan didn’t see Lu Xixiao again.

Guo Xiangling hadn’t contacted her either.

The remaining 150,000 yuan – unless Zhou Wan called Guo Xiangling about it, she would probably never give it, never call her again.

But Zhou Wan had no intention of asking for it.

Perhaps her ill-fated mother-daughter relationship with Guo Xiangling would end here.

She quit her part-time job at the arcade. While handling the handover, she checked Lu Xixiao’s game card points balance – 120,000 tickets, all unredeemed.

Her injured leg had healed, and Zhou Wan returned to her previous life: studying hard and improving daily.

The physics competition training became increasingly demanding, the problems more difficult, often keeping her up late, but solving each problem brought a sense of achievement. It wasn’t bad.

Gradually, another rumor spread through the school.

They said Lu Xixiao had dumped her.

No one was surprised; they all knew this day would come eventually.

Even though Zhou Wan was indeed excellent in her studies and pure and beautiful, meeting Lu Xixiao wouldn’t make her precious. Just having that innocent face, quiet personality, and inability to handle situations – it was inevitable he’d grow tired of her.

Gu Meng worried Zhou Wan would be upset and kept turning around to observe her during class these days.

After all, when Lu Xixiao’s previous girlfriends were dumped, every single one of them had cried desperately, hoping he would change his mind.

“Wan Wan.”

Gu Meng finally dared to ask, “Did you and Lu Xixiao break up?”

“We were never together,” Zhou Wan said.

“Huh?”

Zhou Wan smiled faintly: “Haven’t I told you this several times?”

“But you two were so obviously together,” Gu Meng said. “I thought you were just too shy to admit it.”

Zhou Wan lowered her eyes, her voice carrying a faint, gentle smile: “No.”

Gu Meng became more indignant: “What a jerk!”

“…”

“Being ambiguous with you without making it official, and now he just walks away without a care.” Gu Meng felt outraged on her behalf. “What a waste of his good looks, that scumbag!”

Zhou Wan just smiled, saying nothing.

She knew in her heart she had no right to blame Lu Xixiao.

Lu Xixiao was like a stone dropped into her peaceful life, finally causing ripples in those dead waters.

But that was all.

The stone eventually sank to the bottom, disappearing.

Her life would return to being a pool of still water once again.

*

The bar was bustling with noise and wreathed in smoke, the pounding music vibrating in sync with heartbeats as people on the dance floor jumped and pressed against each other.

Lu Xixiao sat drinking in a corner while his friends shouted conversations nearby.

The youth’s long, slender fingers held his glass, the amber liquid swirling under the surreal lights. His profile caught the lights’ glow with hints of pink and blue, both alluring and sharp, like a blade cutting through the romantic atmosphere.

Without question, Lu Xixiao drew attention to such a setting.

Many girls noticed him, eager to approach, until finally, one gathered the courage to walk over.

Lu Xixiao sat in the innermost seat, requiring the girl to lean in close to ask, “Hey handsome, do you have a girlfriend?”

Lu Xixiao looked up, giving her a casual glance.

A friend nearby who had heard the recent rumors helpfully stood up: “Nope, my bro Xiao just broke up. He’s single now – a rare opportunity!”

As he stood, he gestured for the girl to sit inside.

The girl glanced at Lu Xixiao. Though he wasn’t welcoming, he didn’t refuse either. After a two-second pause, she walked to the inner seat and sat next to Lu Xixiao.

His temperament was cold, his whole aura frigid.

After an awkward moment, the girl moved closer and asked, “What are you drinking?”

Lu Xixiao exhaled smoke and said flatly, “Just ordered whatever.”

“Is it good?”

Lu Xixiao gave a knowing smile, leaning back against the sofa, chin slightly raised, looking roguish: “Why don’t you try it?”

The girl blushed: “Can I?”

Lu Xixiao said nothing.

So she took the glass and took a small sip. Unlike the fruit wines she was used to, this drink was particularly strong and harsh, making her furrow her brows as it burned her throat.

When she recovered, she turned to find Lu Xixiao looking down at his phone.

She instinctively glanced at the screen.

The WeChat interface.

His finger scrolled up, appearing casually indifferent – hard to tell if he was looking for someone specific or just bored.

He scrolled down for a while, his finger pausing slightly. The girl saw a contact name – Zhou Wan.

Sounded like a girl’s name.

“Is that your ex-girlfriend?” she asked.

Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow: “A friend.”

The girl’s voice softened as she laughed: “Oh, you have female friends?”

Lu Xixiao finished his cigarette, stubbed it out in the ashtray, then reached across the table for a new glass, poured himself another drink, and finally replied: “Is that not allowed?”

“It’s allowed, just feels like you’re the type to have girlfriends but be too lazy to maintain female friendships.”

That assessment was quite accurate.

Lu Xixiao tugged at the corner of his mouth.

The girl wracked her brain for conversation topics: “Did you fight with your friend?”

She noticed that the chat with “Zhou Wan” was quite far down, suggesting they hadn’t talked in a while.

“Mm.”

“Was it your fault?”

Lu Xixiao frowned slightly, and after half a minute, said: “I suppose so.”

“Is she pretty?”

Zhou Wan’s looks…

Lu Xixiao had never evaluated in his mind whether she was good-looking or not.

But at this moment, thinking back, he remembered that day returning from the amusement park, when she said happy birthday, then looked up at his eyes, asking with utmost sincerity if he had been happy that day. Under the dim streetlights, the girl’s smile was gentle, her eyes seeming to melt, two dimples filled with honey, her shoulder-length hair softly framing her fair neck, both docile and exquisite, fragile yet resilient.

As delicate as a warm-toned oil painting.

Without question, Zhou Wan was beautiful.

Lu Xixiao’s brows furrowed deeper.

Then he remembered her figure, thin arms and thin legs, too skinny.

He exhaled smoke and said flatly: “Average.”

“Then what do you think of me?” the girl suddenly asked with a smile.

Lu Xixiao turned to look at her.

Elaborate makeup, upturned eyeliner lending an alluring air, red lips, figure-hugging dress showing off her curves.

The type that was beautiful at first glance, the same type as his previous girlfriends.

But at this moment, his mind was filled with images of Zhou Wan.

Gentle, resilient, earnest, and somewhat reserved.

He tilted his head slightly, offering no evaluation, refusing directly: “Sorry.”

The girl was stunned.

Lu Xixiao stood up and walked toward the exit.

Jiang Fan called after him: “Where are you going?”

“Leaving.”

“So early? Got something to do?”

Lu Xixiao’s fingers tapped lightly on his phone screen, his tone casual yet meaningful: “Yeah, school tomorrow.”

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