HomeFalling In LoveZhui Luo - Chapter 38

Zhui Luo – Chapter 38

Lu Xixiao never made promises about the future to anyone and never spoke of it forever.

This was the first time.

When he said those words, even he was stunned for a moment.

Zhou Wan, spend every New Year with me from now on.

I want to have you here every year.

I don’t like this world, and I have no aspirations for the future, but if you’re by my side each new year, I think I might develop some interest in what’s ahead.

The question Zhou Wan had asked him a few days ago—today, he seemed to want to change his answer.

“Lu Xixiao, will we ever separate?”

“I don’t know.”

“But I hope we never separate.”

*

After New Year’s Day, everyone was bustling about visiting relatives and friends for New Year greetings.

Even Lu Xixiao was forced by Old Master Lu to return home several times.

Zhou Wan, however, had fewer visits to make since her grandmother had borrowed money from relatives when Zhou Jun passed away, and they’d had little contact in recent years, leaving her with some peaceful days.

Zhou Wan received his call while at the library. She took her phone and ran outside before answering, “Hello?”

His voice was casual: “What are you doing?”

“I’m at the library,” Zhou Wan said softly. “What about you?”

“At the old house.” He clicked his tongue impatiently. “So annoying.”

Zhou Wan laughed: “Are there many relatives?”

“I barely know any of them. Why should I give New Year greetings to strangers?”

Zhou Wan tried to soothe him: “Come on, just bear with it for a while, you can leave soon.”

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

“Okay,” Zhou Wan agreed.

Just then, a voice came from Lu Xixiao’s end, seemingly a household servant, asking what he wanted for dinner.

Lu Xixiao said he wouldn’t be eating there.

Old Master Lu, who happened to walk in, heard this and asked why.

He lounged on the sofa, legs crossed, speaking lazily: “Having dinner with my girlfriend.”

Zhou Wan’s ears burned upon hearing this: “What are you saying?”

Fortunately, Old Master Lu understood his grandson’s personality. Getting this deity to come home for lunch was already quite an achievement and showed respect for him, so he didn’t say anything more.

After hanging up, Zhou Wan studied for a while longer until she received Lu Xixiao’s text saying he’d arrived, then quickly packed her things.

Jiang Yan turned to look at her: “Leaving so early today?”

“Mm.” Zhou Wan smiled. “Going out for dinner.”

Jiang Yan frowned slightly but said nothing.

Zhou Wan hurried downstairs and saw Lu Xixiao from afar. She ran over: “Why are you wearing so little again?”

“Not cold.” Lu Xixiao took her backpack. “What do you want to eat?”

Zhou Wan thought for a moment: “Korean BBQ.”

Korean BBQ would be warming.

They found a Korean BBQ restaurant, and just as they finished eating, Jiang Fan called asking if he wanted to play cards tonight.

These days, Lu Xixiao rarely participated in their activities, mostly drinking and karaoke, which he had little interest in, so Jiang Fan seldom invited him anymore.

Before Lu Xixiao could refuse, Jiang Fan said: “We need a fourth player, waiting for you.” Then he hung up.

Lu Xixiao tugged at the corner of his mouth and put down his phone.

Zhou Wan asked: “Are you going?”

“Do you want to go?” Lu Xixiao said. “If you don’t want to, we won’t.”

“I’m okay with it.”

Zhou Wan didn’t want him to lose contact with those friends. Though many were just drinking buddies, getting together occasionally wasn’t bad—at least it was lively.

“I’ll go with you,” Zhou Wan said.

*

Lu Xixiao followed the address Jiang Fan gave and went upstairs.

As soon as they opened the private room door, everyone started complaining about how hard it was to get him to come out these days, and upon seeing Zhou Wan behind him, they teased him about being so clingy since getting a girlfriend.

Lu Xixiao couldn’t be bothered to argue, just laughed and sat down.

He didn’t play cards often, only a few times when bored before. However, his card shuffling was quite impressive, his long, slender fingers making the fluid movements look even more handsome.

After arranging his cards, he turned to ask: “Do you know how to play?”

“I know the rules,” Zhou Wan learned from watching Guo Xiangling play cards and mahjong when she was young.

“Want to try?”

Zhou Wan quickly waved her hands: “I’ve never actually played.”

The others joked: “Come on, sister-in-law! Xiao Ge has money! If you lose, it’s on him—let us earn some New Year’s money!”

“New Year’s money is fine,” Lu Xixiao said with a cigarette in his mouth, his voice husky as he laughed lazily, “Just call me daddy first.”

Everyone cursed and laughed.

When it was his turn, he threw down a pair, then asked Zhou Wan in a low voice: “If you lose, it’s on me. Want to try?”

“I’ll watch first,” Zhou Wan said quietly. “I might have forgotten how to play.”

She sat quietly behind Lu Xixiao watching him play.

The table beside them was full of fruit—strawberries, blueberries, honeydew melon. Zhou Wan ate the fruit in small bites.

Suddenly, Lu Xixiao turned his face and opened his mouth.

Zhou Wan paused, removed the leaves from a strawberry stem, and put it in his mouth.

The group of guys made an “ay” sound, frowning with exaggerated disgust: “That’s enough, stop being lovey-dovey during New Year’s.”

Zhou Wan lowered her head, blushing.

Lu Xixiao laughed shamelessly, then glanced at Zhou Wan again and warned: “That’s enough, if you annoy her, you’ll all leave on your knees.”

Zhou Wan: “…”

Making it sound like she had such a bad temper.

When in fact, he was the one who got angry easily.

His words were incredibly intimate and indulgent.

Even though they knew Zhou Wan was special, being Lu Xixiao’s longest-lasting girlfriend, hearing him speak like this still surprised them.

This wasn’t like the Lu Xixiao from before.

So they couldn’t help but look at Zhou Wan with new respect.

Looking at this seemingly docile and obedient young woman, they had to admit she had some skill to have Lu Xixiao so well-behaved.

One round ended, with wins and losses fairly even, though Lu Xixiao won more.

He stood up, pulling Zhou Wan to sit down: “Just play casually, don’t worry about losing.”

“I’ll try not to lose too much for you,” Zhou Wan said softly.

Zhou Wan’s hands were small, barely able to hold the cards, and she arranged them slowly. The others weren’t in a hurry, waiting for her to finish arranging, but once the actual game started, they gradually realized something was off.

Zhou Wan played her cards swiftly, having planned her moves, and even seemed to predict what they would play, without any hesitation.

Lu Xixiao watched from the side, raising an eyebrow.

First round, Zhou Wan won.

Everyone praised her for being secretly skilled, and Zhou Wan pressed her lips together, saying it was just luck, she had good cards.

Her cards were indeed good, but after a few more rounds, everyone noticed something wasn’t right.

Her plays were too precise, each card played perfectly countering the next player, and the fewer cards she had, the more accurate her plays became.

The young woman was completely focused while playing, very serious and earnest.

Soon she had accumulated a large pile of chips, finishing a round in just twenty minutes.

Jiang Fan had no chips left. Looking at the cards, he paused and asked: “Zhou Wan, can you count cards?”

Zhou Wan hesitated, then nodded: “I can roughly remember which cards have been played.”

“…”

They had thought she’d never played cards before and planned to win some money from Lu Xixiao.

But they’d forgotten she was a math genius who could score perfect marks.

After several more rounds, Zhou Wan won quite a bit more.

Lu Xixiao watched from the side and chuckled: “Looks like you came here to make money for me.”

They didn’t play very late before Lu Xixiao stood up to leave. His friends tried to keep him, saying the winner couldn’t call it quits.

Lu Xixiao raised his eyebrows: “I need to send her home first.”

“Fine, but come back after to continue playing!” someone said. “Now that sister-in-law isn’t playing, we might have a chance to win some money!”

Lu Xixiao left holding Zhou Wan’s hand.

“Are you coming back later?” Zhou Wan asked.

“Mm, why?”

“Don’t stay out too late, it’s not good for your health to stay up.”

He smiled: “I know.”

In the taxi, Zhou Wan’s phone buzzed with a transfer from Lu Xixiao: “What’s this?”

“Your winnings.”

“I was just playing for you for a while.”

“We agreed,” he squeezed Zhou Wan’s palm. “If you lose, it’s on me; if you win, it’s yours.”

Zhou Wan hesitated: “Maybe you should return the money to them. You’re all classmates, it was just for fun, it doesn’t feel right taking their money.”

Lu Xixiao simply took her phone and pressed confirm on the transfer.

His gaze lifted slightly as he noticed her contact name for him.

“6?”

As if a secret had been discovered, Zhou Wan’s mind went blank, stammering: “Well, since your surname is Lu, it’s the Chinese number 6, so I changed it to that.”

Getting such a nickname out of nowhere, Lu Xixiao asked with amusement: “Why haven’t you mentioned this before?”

“I changed it a long time ago.”

Zhou Wan explained quietly, “It was when I first added you. I was too embarrassed to save your name, afraid someone might see it, so I changed it to this.”

“Afraid someone might see.” He raised an eyebrow. “Am I that shameful?”

Zhou Wan glanced at him and said: “Because you had many ex-girlfriends. If people saw it and word got around, it would attract hatred.”

Lu Xixiao laughed: “Zhou Wan, you’ve learned to turn things around on me now.”

Zhou Wan mumbled: “…It’s true though.”

“Jealous?”

Zhou Wan paused, not answering.

In this relationship, what right did she have to be jealous?

But thinking about it, although Lu Xixiao was indeed popular with girls, Zhou Wan hadn’t worried or felt jealous about it since they got together.

His personality was casual yet cold, and he never showed special interest in other girls. As for his past relationships, he had ended them all cleanly.

Even before, although Lu Xixiao changed girlfriends quickly, he never got involved with other girls simultaneously.

When she didn’t answer, Lu Xixiao took it as confirmation.

In the past, he hated it most when girls got jealous for no reason, but now he felt quite good about it.

He ruffled Zhou Wan’s hair, saying casually: “From now on, just you.”

*

In a blink, it was the fourteenth day of the lunar new year, the end of winter break, time to return to school.

During the last two days of break, Zhou Wan didn’t go to the library but went to Lu Xixiao’s home to help him catch up on most of his winter vacation homework.

As soon as they returned to school, Zhou Wan and Jiang Yan were called by their teacher.

“Next month you’ll be going to City B for the national competition. You both prepared well during the break, right?”

Jiang Yan said he and Zhou Wan often studied together at the library during winter break.

“That’s good, I knew you two would be the least of my worries,” the physics teacher said. “Make sure you rest well these days, don’t get sick. We’ll take a flight to City B the night before. The school will arrange the tickets, and I’ll go with you.”

Coming out of the office, the winter sun was bright outside, warm and pleasant.

That evening, as usual, Lu Xixiao drove her home, and Zhou Wan bought some noodles for her grandmother on the way.

Outside the residential complex, Lu Xixiao held her and kissed her for a while before letting her go home.

Just like any other clingy couple.

Zhou Wan ran upstairs and pushed open the door: “Grandma, haven’t you had dinner yet?”

She went to the kitchen and got a bowl to pour the noodles in.

“Have you eaten?” Grandmother asked.

“I ate outside.”

“Why did you buy so much? Can’t finish it.”

“It’s okay, save the leftovers.” Zhou Wan handed over the chopsticks.

Grandmother sat at the dining table to eat the noodles but put down her chopsticks after just a few bites, saying she couldn’t eat anymore.

She had barely touched the noodles, hardly showing any signs of having eaten. Zhou Wan paused and asked: “Grandma, don’t you want the noodles?”

“No, it’s not that. Grandma is very full,” she smiled. “Maybe because I ate a lot during the New Year period, I’ve been feeling full lately.”

“Next time tell me what you want to eat, and I’ll buy it for you.”

“Okay.” Grandmother stroked Zhou Wan’s hair. “Wan Wan, aren’t you going to a competition soon?”

“Mm, next month.”

“I heard A-Yang next door saying this morning that she’s going to the temple next month. I’ll get you a blessed charm from the Wenchang Bodhisattva to help you do well in the exam.”

Zhou Wan smiled, her eyes curving: “No need! It’s such a long trip, you’ll get tired. I’ve prepared for so long, I’m sure I’ll do well.”

“Eh.” Grandmother drew out the sound, her tone rising in disapproval, “You’re you, and the Bodhisattva is the Bodhisattva. This is about having heaven, earth, and human factors all aligned.”

“Alright.” Zhou Wan gave in. “But take a taxi there, don’t take the bus. Your legs aren’t steady, and the bus is too bumpy.”

“Grandma knows. Now go study.”

Zhou Wan made an “mm” sound and took her backpack to her bedroom.

Grandmother sat alone in the living room, lowering her eyes to look at the barely touched bowl of noodles before her. After a pause, she picked up another piece with her chopsticks and put it in her mouth, but after chewing a few times, acid surged up from her stomach, and she spat it out.

It had been like this for several days.

Everything else felt fine, with no particular discomfort anywhere.

But food had no taste—she couldn’t sense sweet, sour, bitter, or spicy. She had no appetite and could only force herself to eat, but even a little extra would make her vomit immediately.

She’d heard people say that when someone becomes weak enough, this is how it is before death.

Even taste disappears.

Uremia would lead to many complications in its final stages. Though dialysis could barely maintain life, the body had already been worn down to just an empty shell, everything inside rotted and hollow.

No one knew which complication would threaten life on any given day.

That’s what Dr. Chen had told her last time.

Grandmother hadn’t let them tell Zhou Wan—she needed to focus on her studies.

Grandmother sat alone at the dining table, crying silently.

Not for herself, but for her Wan Wan.

On the wall calendar before her, one day in March was circled with a carbon pen—the day of Zhou Wan’s exam.

A good score would secure admission to a good university.

Less than a month to go.

Her Wan Wan had suffered for so many years and finally could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

*

The following days continued as usual.

Each day was spent largely preparing for the physics competition. Other teachers also understood the importance of this competition and indicated that Zhou Wan and Jiang Yan could ease up on other subjects to focus entirely on competition preparation.

After school, Zhou Wan sometimes brought food home to eat with her grandmother, but her grandmother always ate very little, though perhaps it was just because of the cold weather.

Sometimes she’d order takeout and eat at Lu Xixiao’s place, studying there while he played on his phone nearby, occasionally being pulled by Zhou Wan to study a bit.

Soon, February ended.

March arrived.

“Have you lost weight recently?” Lu Xixiao asked.

Zhou Wan touched her face: “I don’t know, I haven’t weighed myself.”

“I can tell by hugging you.”

Lu Xixiao reached out with his long arms and pulled Zhou Wan into his embrace, holding her waist until the young woman was red-faced and flustered before finally letting go, commenting seriously, “You have lost weight.”

“…”

“I’ll take you out for something good today.” Lu Xixiao held her hand. “Put some meat back on.”

Zhou Wan laughed softly: “Okay.”

Lu Xixiao took her to a restaurant that was expensive just from its facade.

Zhou Wan couldn’t help but tug at his sleeve: “Are we eating here?”

“Mm.”

“Isn’t it very expensive?”

Lu Xixiao laughed: “Well, since you’ll be making it big after your exam, I’m bribing you first—you’ll have to support me in the future.”

“Lu Xixiao.” Zhou Wan said softly, “Let’s go somewhere else.”

“What, don’t want to support me?” he teased. “Planning to default?”

“No…”

Before Zhou Wan could say more, Lu Xixiao pulled her inside, telling the attendant, “Table for two.”

“…”

Once seated, Lu Xixiao ordered dishes, mostly seafood, with prices that hurt to look at.

Zhou Wan simply stopped looking, letting him order. After a pause, she said: “For our competition, if we get first prize, besides the guaranteed admission, there’s also prize money.”

He raised an eyebrow: “Oh?”

“If I can win it, I’ll treat you to dinner.”

Lu Xixiao chuckled: “Deal.”

Just then, the restaurant door opened, and the staff chorused “Welcome!”

The manager smiled eagerly, saying: “Mr. Lu, why didn’t you call ahead? We could have prepared for you.”

“It’s fine, just here for dinner, keep it casual.” It was Lu Zhongyue’s voice.

Zhou Wan froze, instinctively looking at Lu Xixiao.

He merely lifted his eyelids slightly, showing no emotion.

Zhou Wan looked back to see Lu Zhongyue and Jiang Yan walking in.

Jiang Yan saw her too, his gaze pausing, but he neither said nor did anything.

When the staff asked where they’d like to sit, Jiang Yan answered: “Over there.” He pointed in the opposite direction.

Lu Zhongyue hadn’t noticed them.

“Lu Xixiao.” Zhou Wan watched his expression. “Should we go somewhere else?”

“It’s fine.” He tugged at the corner of his mouth indifferently. “Don’t worry about it.”

The restaurant had many diners, but in such an environment everyone was quiet, with only low-volume conversations and the crisp sound of cutlery against plates.

Zhou Wan could faintly hear Jiang Yan and Lu Zhongyue’s voices.

Lu Zhongyue asked about his studies, occasionally punctuated by the man’s laughter.

It was clear that Jiang Yan pleased him greatly, and Jiang Yan was deliberately trying to make Lu Zhongyue happy—he wasn’t usually this talkative.

Suddenly, Lu Zhongyue’s phone rang, and he answered: “Xiangling.”

Zhou Wan’s hand holding the chopsticks froze, her back stiffening.

“Mm, I’m… with A-Bian.” Lu Zhongyue said into the phone. “Come join us then, the food hasn’t arrived yet.”

He didn’t ask Jiang Yan’s opinion, and after hanging up told him: “Your aunt is coming too.”

Jiang Yan’s smile froze for an instant before returning to normal: “Great, I haven’t met Auntie yet.”

Guo Xiangling was coming.

Zhou Wan felt as if she’d been doused with ice water, even breathing became difficult.

She and Jiang Yan had been at the same school since junior high. Though in different classes, they had quite a bit of interaction since they were always first and second in rankings, so they’d known each other for a long time.

Once during a school event that required parents to attend, Zhou Wan had listed Guo Xiangling’s number as her contact, and the homeroom teacher had called her to come.

At that time, Jiang Yan had seen Guo Xiangling.

But so many years have passed since then…

He probably wouldn’t remember, right?

Zhou Wan’s face went pale as she gripped her chopsticks.

Lu Xixiao picked up some crab meat for her: “What are you thinking about?”

She came back to herself, shaking her head: “Nothing.”

“Don’t like it?”

“No, it’s delicious.”

Lu Xixiao stared at her for a moment, then calmly looked away: “Let’s go when you’re full.”

There was still much food on the table, and leaving so much at such high prices was wasteful.

But Zhou Wan didn’t want to see Guo Xiangling here.

If Jiang Yan recognized her…

Zhou Wan didn’t dare think further.

So she put down her chopsticks: “Mm.”

Leaving the restaurant, Lu Xixiao hailed a taxi to take Zhou Wan home.

The entire way was silent, neither speaking.

She could sense that Lu Xixiao seemed unhappy, but didn’t know how to bring it up.

The longer this matter was dragged out, the more it became like paper holding fire—one wrong move and it would ignite completely.

Zhou Wan reached out, silently taking his hand, and squeezing it.

Lu Xixiao looked down at her, seeing the young woman trying to make amends, and didn’t reject her gesture, smiling as he ruffled her hair: “Get some rest early.”

“Mm, good night, Lu Xixiao.”

After watching Zhou Wan enter the building, Lu Xixiao turned to go home.

*

At home, Lu Xixiao leaned back on the sofa, wearily looking up at the ceiling as he lit a cigarette and exhaled a long breath.

He was a clever person, able to see through Zhou Wan’s emotions at a glance.

It had been like this since they first met—Lu Xixiao had known early on that she was playing docile and simple, had seen through her deliberate approach to him, but at some point, he’d stopped dwelling on these things.

No matter what had initially brought her to approach him, as long as she was by his side now, it was enough.

Zhou Wan didn’t speak of it, and he never pressed.

Similarly, Lu Xixiao knew something was wrong with her state just now.

At first, when Lu Zhongyue entered, Zhou Wan was only worried about affecting him, so she carefully observed his reactions, but from some point, Zhou Wan’s emotions suddenly changed, becoming somewhat overwhelmed.

When had it started?

Lu Xixiao frowned, thinking back.

Yes—

It was when Lu Zhongyue answered that call from Guo Xiangling.

Suddenly, many past fragments flashed through Lu Xixiao’s mind.

That night, when they encountered Guo Xiangling’s car on the road, Zhou Wan had been panicked.

Later at the hospital, when Zhou Wan saw Guo Xiangling, her whole body had notably stiffened.

Also, he had once seen Zhou Wan and Guo Xiangling talking at the sink in the bathroom.

Everything seemed to be pulled together by a hidden thread.

Lu Xixiao had never doubted Zhou Wan’s feelings for him.

He’d dated many times and seen different ways girls expressed love. Though Zhou Wan’s way was different from those direct approaches, her eyes shone when she looked at him.

She would take him to the amusement park on his birthday, earnestly giving him birthday wishes.

She would firmly hold his hand when his acrophobia acted up, standing before him like a warrior.

She would accompany him to another city at dawn to see snow, afraid he’d be lonely.

Zhou Wan truly did like him.

Yet, she seemed to have never thought about staying with him forever.

She had even calmly anticipated that day.

Just as she had said:

“If we separate someday.”

“Let’s never contact each other again, okay?”

Zhou Wan had secrets.

Lu Xixiao closed his eyes briefly, his brows tightly knitted, holding back a smoldering fire as he slowly let out a breath.

*

All evening, Zhou Wan was uneasy.

Not knowing if Jiang Yan had recognized Guo Xiangling.

But Jiang Yan hadn’t contacted her, so perhaps he hadn’t.

Being on guard like this everywhere made Zhou Wan feel extremely tired. She had thought about whether to tell Lu Xixiao everything, to apologize and confess.

But with Lu Xixiao’s proud nature, if he knew this was all just a setup, he would surely explode with rage and never speak to her again.

Zhou Wan had once hoped that when everything settled, Lu Xixiao could hate her openly and clearly.

But now, she couldn’t bear to part with him.

Take it one step at a time.

Like drinking poison to quench thirst.

Knowing it was poison, yet continuing to drink.

The next day at school, when Zhou Wan arrived at the classroom, Jiang Yan was already in his seat. He just looked at her once, saying “morning” as usual.

Zhou Wan relaxed: “Morning.”

She thought this matter had escaped danger once again, but that evening.

The dismissal bell rang, and students gradually left.

Only the two of them remained in the classroom.

“Zhou Wan.”

Jiang Yan turned to look at her, his voice low and deep, “Do you know what you’re doing?”

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