Xie Zhuo and I sat across from each other by candlelight again. Like two dead fish, we sprawled in our chairs.

What had Xiaxia taken Xie Zhuo to do today? Looking at his expression, I couldn’t even be bothered to ask.

“This isn’t going anywhere,” I said, sitting up straight, rallying my spirits for what felt like the hundredth time.

But Xie Zhuo did not. He leaned back in his chair, his expression blank, lost in thought.

I tapped on an empty spot on the table covered with Xie Zhuo’s trinkets. “Pull yourself together! You can’t go on like this! Are we still cutting this marriage bond or not?”

These words lit up Xie Zhuo’s eyes. He too sat up straight, looked back at me, and said resolutely: “Cut…”

Still having a fighting spirit—that’s good.

“Tomorrow.” Remarkably, Xie Zhuo spoke first, giving me advice. “You should pester him to tell stories…”

“That won’t work,” I waved my hand, interrupting him. “He won’t get angry at me for disturbing his rest…” Mentioning this, I felt a bit irritated. “Do you even understand yourself? What makes you angry? Don’t you have any self-awareness? Are you a Buddha?”

Xie Zhuo, as always, ignored my complaints: “Make him tell you stories.”

How novel!

Xie Zhuo wanted the past Xie Zhuo to tell me stories, and believed this would make his past self angry.

“Are you sure?” I doubted him. “Isn’t this anger point of yours a bit far-fetched? Does talking hurt you or something?”

Xie Zhuo’s lips pressed slightly together. He didn’t waste words: “Try it…”

I shook my head, convinced that Xie Zhuo didn’t understand himself, amazed he could come up with such an absurd method. I directly took out the yin-yang fish from my waist: “I’ve thought of a reliable approach.”

Xie Zhuo raised an eyebrow, seemingly doubtful of the word “reliable.”

“Let’s change our strategy. I guess tomorrow, Xie Xuanqing still won’t be able to get up. We can temporarily ignore him. I’ll focus entirely on helping you disrupt my past self’s state of mind. Using this.” I pressed the white fish’s eye.

The black fish at Xie Zhuo’s waist vibrated once.

“Take it out, take it out,” I instructed him. “I’ll modify it for you.” I began tinkering with the small gadget in my hand. “This originally could only transmit speech, but since you’re not one for talking, that would be a waste. I’m adjusting the internal formation structure so that…”

I handed the black fish to him: “This fish eye can now help me see what’s happening around you and transmit it to me in real-time.”

I helped him press the black fish’s eye twice. The black fish’s eye lit up, and my white fish began to emit light, projecting a palm-sized image in front of me—the image showed my appearance as seen by the black fish’s eye.

“Press once to transmit sound, press twice to transmit images. Whoever presses first will transmit from their side. If we both press, we can see what’s happening on each other’s end.”

Finishing my explanation, I looked at Xie Zhuo with pride.

“How about that? With this, tomorrow I can sit in this room, directing operations from afar, achieving victory over my past self from a thousand miles away!”

I couldn’t help but admire myself, sighing, “I am a genius.”

Xie Zhuo looked at me once, then wordlessly dug out the black fish’s eye.

I was shocked: “You…”

Without consulting me, Xie Zhuo snatched the white fish from my hand and similarly removed its eye. He first pressed the black fish’s eye onto his right earlobe. The black fish dissolved into a wisp of energy, leaving a black dot on his earlobe. Then, without explanation, he pressed the white fish’s eye onto my left earlobe.

A white dot immediately appeared on my ear.

“What are you doing!?”

“This is more convenient.” Xie Zhuo touched his right earlobe. Instantly, an image rushed into my mind—it was Xie Zhuo’s current view of me, frozen like a wooden chicken. I even heard his voice directly in my mind: “There won’t be any flaws.”

I shook my head, taking a moment to adjust to the feeling of my consciousness being directly invaded.

This demon…

When he doesn’t act, he doesn’t move at all, but when he does, he goes all out…

“Fine, this works too,” I said to Xie Zhuo. “Tomorrow, just turn this thing on, and I’ll guide you the whole time. I’ll help you offend me to the point where I’ll never want to see you again for all eternity.”

“I hope so.”

His four words came both to my ear and into my mind.

I quickly waved at him: “Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off now.”

Xie Zhuo touched his ear again, then got up and returned to his room.

The next morning, I sent Xie Zhuo off to battle, handing him a bowl of snow water I had dug from the remnants of snow in the bamboo forest: “Xie Zhuo, it all comes down to this. You must follow instructions carefully.”

Xie Zhuo glanced at my bowl, ignored me completely, turned around, and left.

This reaction was expected; I wasn’t upset at all. I repeatedly instructed his retreating figure, “Do exactly what I say! Don’t have your ideas! Just be a tool! Remember! A tool!”

I returned to my room, sat up straight, and prepared for battle.

I had Xie Zhuo put all the items on the table into the qiankun bag to take with him. This way, when he met Xiaxia, I would have plenty of opportunities to have him smash things at the right moment.

Before long, the white dot on my ear lit up, and an image suddenly appeared in my mind. The image didn’t show Xie Zhuo, only me from five hundred years ago. From Xie Zhuo’s perspective, I seemed a bit too short…

Being used to Xie Zhuo being a head taller than me, I hadn’t noticed before. I hadn’t realized that from his perspective, being a head shorter would evoke such a sense of protectiveness…

Although I didn’t need his protection at all…

No, that’s not the point.

The point is they were at the market again…

Shopping again!?

I was distressed, feeling that my past self was truly too devoted and kind to Xie Zhuo.

I tapped my earlobe once: “Tell her you don’t want it.”

Tool-man Xie Zhuo spoke: “I don’t want…”

Xiaxia froze in front of Xie Zhuo: “But… I didn’t bring you here to buy things today.”

Awkward…

“Quick, add something. Say you meant you don’t want the previous things.”

Having learned from the earlier lesson, Xie Zhuo thought briefly, decided this was an acceptable statement, and then said, “I don’t want the previous ones.”

Xiaxia blinked at him: “Which previous ones don’t you want?”

“Quick!” I commanded. “Take out a few items and smash them on the ground.”

Xie Zhuo hesitated again. I heard his breathing become slightly heavier, then he reached for the qiankun bag and directly took out a bamboo dragonfly. Without explanation, Xie Zhuo raised his hand and threw the bamboo dragonfly on the ground.

The bamboo dragonfly went “splat” and broke.

He smashed it with such force, and my heart was so jubilant!

He did it! He did it! He stood up for himself!

“Ah!” Xiaxia indeed let out a cry of surprise.

Xie Zhuo’s gaze moved from the bamboo dragonfly to Xiaxia’s face. Xiaxia’s expression changed from blank to confused, and then turned to anger.

Yes, just like that.

Our scheme was finally on the right track!

My! Heart! Was! So! Satisfied!

Then I saw Xiaxia pick up the smashed bamboo dragonfly, take an angry breath, and say: “I knew it! That catfish spirit from West Second Street can’t be trusted! How dare he use an ordinary bamboo dragonfly disguised as a small immortal device to fool me!”

What!?

Xiaxia clutched the bamboo dragonfly in her hand, looked up at Xie Zhuo, contained her anger, and comforted him: “I was deceived too, I didn’t intentionally buy you fake goods. Don’t be angry.”

Off track, once again off track.

Xie Zhuo was silent.

I was also silent.

Xiaxia continued: “Come on, let’s go settle accounts with that catfish spirit! He even dared to cheat me out of a spirit stone! I’ll flip his stall today if it’s the last thing I do!”

Watching my past self through Xie Zhuo’s eyes, marching determinedly ahead with such righteousness, I just felt tired.

Fighting against heaven, fighting against earth—neither was as exhausting as fighting against myself at this moment.

“Stop her!” I didn’t give up, continuing to advise. “Don’t let her go! Smash all the things in your qiankun bag on the ground.”

Xie Zhuo obeyed, stepping forward to block Xiaxia.

“What’s wrong?” Xiaxia asked Xie Zhuo.

Xie Zhuo took another heavy breath.

He took out the qiankun bag, opened it, and poured out all its contents.

I continued to command: “Say you don’t want any of it.”

“I… don’t want any of it.”

But Xiaxia was already caught up in the indignation of being cheated out of a spirit stone. She crouched in front of the pile of things and began to search: “Right, we should take everything out and check if there are any more fake goods. If there are, we need to go back to the vendor for replacements quickly. If too much time passes, they won’t take responsibility! Of course, we don’t want anything that’s broken!”

Xie Zhuo stood to the side.

Looking at the scene in Xie Zhuo’s mind, I also silently leaned back in my chair.

“Just come kick me in the forehead,” I couldn’t bear it anymore.

“No,” Xie Zhuo said.

Xiaxia raised her head: “Hmm? What’s not allowed?”

“Scold her!” I pounded the table. “Tell her all the cheap trinkets she bought are a mess and none of them are any good!”

Xiaxia’s upturned face from her crouching position remained in the image for a long time. Then Xie Zhuo spoke.

“Your purchases are inadequate.” He simplified my words.

Xiaxia stared blankly at Xie Zhuo.

For some reason, Xie Zhuo’s gaze shifted slightly to the side.

And then he got hit.

The image in my mind shook as Xiaxia’s punches and kicks landed on his arms and legs.

“I buy you things and you complain! When I let you choose for yourself, you don’t! It’s not your spirit stones being spent, so you don’t care!”

Throughout this, I couldn’t get a word in. Xie Zhuo, as usual, dodged “my” attacks. Then Xiaxia, still upset, picked up the bamboo dragonfly from the ground: “Just because I accidentally bought a fake item trying to save money! How could you say such things to me? I’m so angry! That catfish spirit, daring to make me lose face! I’m going to flip his stall today!”

“I,” as usual, didn’t give Xie Zhuo a chance to explain, turning and running away.

But my anger like this probably wouldn’t make me truly upset enough to never speak to Xie Zhuo again. Most likely, after gaining some advantage over the catfish spirit, I’d come back to thank Xie Zhuo for discovering the fake…

I tapped my earlobe three times, shutting off the communication with Xie Zhuo.

I patted my chest and took a deep breath.

I couldn’t watch anymore; it was enough to make me die of frustration.

I might as well go try Xie Zhuo’s method of asking Xie Xuanqing to tell me stories.