Hongdou froze for a moment, then withdrew her hand despondently. If not for what had happened before, hearing these words might have been sweet enough to make her smile even in her dreams—but with that earlier friction between them, her state of mind now was entirely different.
If he hadn’t cared about that woman, why would he have accepted her gift at the wedding at all? Sweet words he could say to her—naturally, he could say them to someone else too.
She was too proud to stoop to sharing what belonged to her with someone else. Yet though her face could pretend indifference, her heart felt sour and swollen, as if soaking in lemon water. If only she’d never met He Yunqin at all—she’d still be that carefree, unrestrained Yu Hongdou. But once she’d met him, it became her calamity.
Or perhaps, if there hadn’t been those days of tender intimacy before, it wouldn’t be so bad—at least she wouldn’t be so anxious and insecure as she was now.
It was precisely because she’d tasted sweetness that the sourness now felt all the more bitter. Such feelings were difficult to put into words—only someone who’d experienced it personally could understand even a fraction of it.
He naturally caught every subtle change on her face. Had it not been for the previous night’s ordeal, he might never have been able to empathize so deeply. But now, it was as though a beam of light had been poured into his chest, suddenly bright and clear. How could his Hongdou be so pitiable yet so endearing? He said solemnly: “That bouquet was from a friend of mine in Peiping, sent through my sister-in-law to congratulate me on my marriage.”
Hongdou was stunned.
“I told you before, Duan Mingyi and I were middle school classmates. For the first three years I barely spoke a word to her, and it was only later, when my elder brother began formally courting her, that I gradually came to have contact with her because I was passing messages on his behalf.”
His expression turned slightly muted—after all, this was only speculation, never confirmed, and given his years of education, he never liked to gossip about others. But he truly didn’t want Hongdou to keep doubting him, so he told her everything, plainly: “My elder brother had just graduated from university at the time, and being busy taking over the family business, had little time to go to the school himself, so he’d often have me go deliver messages or arrange meetings with Duan Mingyi. At first Duan Mingyi didn’t accept my brother’s pursuit, and every time I went to deliver a letter or pass along a message, she was clearly displeased. After several rounds of this, I still couldn’t tell what she really thought of my brother, and because I kept going to see Duan Mingyi, some classmates at school mistakenly assumed I was the one courting her. Not wanting to cause unnecessary misunderstanding, I later refused to pass along any more messages for my brother no matter what. Not long after, graduation came, and I applied to study abroad, going to Germany for several years. By the time I returned this year, she had already become my sister-in-law.”
Hongdou sat up straight—so there was this whole history between them as brother-in-law and sister-in-law. It seemed the rumors had taken root back then; no wonder Lu Jingheng had later made an issue of it. But if He Yunqin had never actually pursued Duan Mingyi, why hadn’t Duan Mingyi herself cleared things up in front of her classmates?
He Yunqin, being so perceptive, must surely have wondered about this too.
“After I came back, I decided to accept Aurora University’s offer. Before that, there was an American professor in this city who often held academic gatherings—because I was drafting papers at the time, I was often invited to attend lectures or give talks, and it was during this period that I learned my sister-in-law knew quite a few mutual friends of mine. The one who had the flowers sent to me was one of them. Later, after that scandal appeared in the papers, I stopped attending gatherings of that sort to avoid suspicion. On our wedding day, she didn’t have any contact with me herself—she only had a servant deliver the flowers. I didn’t want to accept them at first, but this friend who sent the flowers shares a very deep connection with me, and the meaning behind the flowers was a good one, so by reason and by sentiment, I felt I should accept them. This friend, as it happens, knows both Ruide and Wang Bide as well, and will be returning from Peiping before long—I’ll introduce you to her properly then.”
Hongdou lifted her face, gazing steadily at him. He was slowly opening up to her about everything concerning himself. Perhaps she was too easily satisfied—just this one heartfelt explanation was enough to dissolve all her earlier doubts.
She leaned into him, resting her forehead against his shoulder, and asked him quietly: “He Yunqin, why did you marry me in the first place?” Her love for him had long since become impossible to hide, yet his feelings toward her had never taken on a clear shape. If marriage were a contest, she’d already lost the first round from the start. But she didn’t want to muddle through life in confusion, and even less did she want him treating her devotedly out of nothing more than a husband’s sense of duty.
She was so fixated on this question that He Yunqin naturally understood the reason behind it. Catching sight of her slightly reddened eyes, he first let out a barely audible sigh, then reached up and pinched her cheek: “I’ve thought about this question myself too. There’s really only one answer—because I wanted to marry you, so—I did.”
She wasn’t satisfied. What kind of answer was that?
He pulled her closer: “Hongdou, though our marriage was arranged in haste, if it hadn’t been you that Bai Haili was pestering back then, but some other woman, I’d have simply dealt with Bai Haili some other way—I never would have gone so far as to stake my own marriage on it.”
Hongdou’s gaze flickered slightly; she remained quiet, not responding.
He Yunqin fell silent, weighing his words carefully. He and Hongdou hadn’t known each other long, truth be told—from first seeing her come downstairs at the tea party through the bridge game, to when she later went looking for Wang Bide’s help, to tearing her trousers, to finally working together against Chen Jinsheng—though it had all happened within less than half a month, they’d gone through an extraordinary number of unusual events together in that time. Exactly when his feelings had started, exactly when his heart had been moved, was already impossible to trace. Still, to set her mind at ease, he tried to walk through it with her rationally.
“Back then when we were looking for someone, the moment I saw you come down the stairs, I felt at ease. I liked watching how you dressed, liked hearing you act coquettish with your brother, liked drawing you into helping us analyze the case—every time your brother asked me to look after you, I never once felt the slightest impatience. At the time I didn’t understand why, but I later realized that was when my feelings began stirring. Then you came to my mother’s birthday celebration, and that night you looked exceptionally beautiful. Though I’m ashamed to admit it, while the two of us were in the card room, I had the urge to get closer to you more than once—afterward, thinking back on how you looked that night, I kept finding myself troubled by thoughts I shouldn’t have had. That kind of instinctive desire—that’s when it turned into genuine feeling.”
A flush rose to Hongdou’s cheeks. She wasn’t naive—she knew clearly enough that it was from that very night that the relationship between them had begun to shift subtly.
“I’d never had any experience with romance before, and I was rather slow about some things. That day at your house, because of what happened with Qin Xuekai, I proposed to you on impulse—I’ll admit that was far too rash of me. But that night when I got home and calmly thought it over, I found I didn’t regret it in the slightest.”
He gazed at her face, glowing softly: “This kind of thing can’t be put into words—it can’t be analyzed with engineering methods or forensic science. All I know is that by the time I came to understand it myself, you were already tucked away in my heart. Last night, when something happened to you, I regretted more than I ever had in my life. There was only one thought in my mind—that if I could find you, I had to tell you clearly, plainly: Hongdou, my wife, I like you, I love you, I want you—”
Hongdou’s throat tightened, her heart pounding uncontrollably, and she went soft in his arms. Somewhere along the way, night had fully fallen; the two of them, absorbed in talking, hadn’t turned on any lights in the room, only milky moonlight spilling in through the pristine floor-to-ceiling windows.
But just then, she suddenly heard him say: “So, please allow your husband to properly teach you German.”
She froze, feeling that peaceful, tranquil atmosphere vanish in an instant, both flustered and annoyed—how could he be like this?
But He Yunqin’s mind moved quickly, and while she was still stunned, he’d already moved on to other thoughts, burying his face in her open collar, kissing her softly there. She naturally understood what he was thinking, and remembering she hadn’t bathed yet that day, blushed and pushed him away: “Let me go bathe first.”
He Yunqin, already stirred, had no intention of stopping: “Why don’t I help you bathe.”
She glared at him: “How would you help me bathe?”
He simply lifted her up and, undeterred, pushed open the washroom door: “It’s not as if I didn’t bathe you last night.”
She did indeed still remember what had happened the night before, but she’d been unconscious then. Tonight the two of them would have to face each other directly in the bathroom—before her marriage, her mother had certainly never taught her about this. Just thinking about it made her feel unbearably embarrassed.
“No. I’ll wash myself, put me down.”
He Yunqin, however, had already carried her to the washroom counter without room for argument, kissing her, pulling off her undergarments, caressing her, and once she was ready, pressed unhesitatingly between her legs.
She was pressed back against the large mirror behind her, the cold touch sending a fine shiver across her back.
That it could even happen like this—she was too embarrassed to even think of resisting.
He Yunqin, catching her off guard, helped guide her arms around his waist. He’d been anticipating this moment for a long while now, and had no intention of stopping halfway, cupping her face and kissing her: “Ich liebe dich.”
“Ich liebe dich?”
A soft cry of pain escaped her.
He had already succeeded, his voice low and hoarse, barely audible: “I love you.”
Author’s Note: Your poor author has a small exam tomorrow, so I’ll be taking a day off—this Hong Dou Sheng Min Guo – Chapter has a red packet, mwah~