At nine in the evening, Qiao Qingyu dragged her tired feet into the room and immediately noticed that Li Fanghao hadn’t been idle during the long hours she and Qiao Lusheng were away from Chaoyang New Village. The desk by the window, which had originally belonged to Qiao Jinyu, now neatly displayed her books, while her quilts and pillows were arranged on the narrow bed beneath the window.
What shocked her even more was the cold metallic gleam of iron bars that had materialized outside the window glass. It reminded her of Aunt Qin’s birdcage-like room.
The curtains had been removed. When Qiao Qingyu tried to touch the iron bars, she found the window wouldn’t budge. That’s when she noticed two welded iron plates at the top and bottom where the aluminum alloy window frames met, firmly fixing them in place. Her gaze penetrated the glass, through the gaps in the iron bars, to the pitch-black window opposite. At that moment, Qiao Qingyu felt as if she had died.
A rustling sound came from behind. Turning around, she saw Li Fanghao enter with several unfolded newspapers, her expression harder than the iron bars.
“Move aside.”
Qiao Qingyu obediently stepped to the side, watching as Li Fanghao spread the newspapers on the desk. First, she glued several pages together, then meticulously pasted them over the window glass, leaving no gaps. Qiao Qingyu felt nothing inside as if Li Fanghao’s actions had nothing to do with her. After finishing, Li Fanghao sighed and turned to her:
“Today I returned that schoolbag and the note to your classmate across the way.”
Her heart suddenly sprang to life. Qiao Qingyu’s unconcealed terror gave Li Fanghao both satisfaction and contempt. “I didn’t waste words with Mingsheng. I just told him that if he kept entangling with you, I’d burn their house down. For my daughter, I’m capable of anything.”
She stared intently at Qiao Qingyu, her voice lowering threateningly, “Do you understand? Can you keep your mind clear now?”
“Yes.”
“If you have any sense of shame, don’t tell anyone you spent a night at a boy’s house, understand?”
“I understand.”
Li Fanghao let out a disbelieving “hmph” and pulled out the Oxford English Dictionary from the desk, flipping through it until a white envelope fell out—it was the only letter Qiao Qingyu had kept from her rare collection of correspondence, with professionally printed content, completely above board.
“Who is He Kai?” Li Fanghao’s voice carried a suppressed sense of triumph.
Qiao Qingyu kept her eyes downcast: “A senior from Shunyun First High.”
“The letter says ‘I never expected to run into you by Qinghu Lake,'” Li Fanghao sneered. “When I wasn’t watching you during summer break, you went out playing by yourself?”
“Just once.”
“And you happened to meet him that one time?”
“Yes.”
After a few seconds of silence, Li Fanghao asked, “Did you write back?”
“Yes.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing much.”
Another few seconds passed: “I thought you were different from your sister, but turns out you both lose your heads over men.”
“I don’t,” Qiao Qingyu bit her lip, “and neither does sister.”
“I know exactly what’s in your bellies, I’m telling you. Your sister was obvious about it, you’re secretive, and you’re even more dangerous than her!”
As if struck by lightning, a self-destructive flame ignited in Qiao Qingyu’s heart. “Mom, don’t worry,” she said desperately but defiantly, “even if I did have feelings for Senior He Kai, nothing would happen between us. Everyone knows our family is terrible. Decent boys would stay far away from me.”
“I knew it! Can’t these things wait until after you finish school?!” Li Fanghao exploded, spittle flying as she waved the envelope up and down frantically. “I’ve devoted everything to raising you sisters, especially you. I’ve kept you by my side since you were little and found ways to get you into good schools after coming to Huanzhou. When you ran away, your grandparents, uncle, and aunt all said to send you back to Shunyun after catching you, attending an ordinary high school in Qiaotou Town and just finishing high school. I fought tooth and nail with them, desperately keeping you in Huanzhou! Mom asks for nothing, I’ll fight with anyone, just hoping you’ll focus on your studies and not think about nonsense! Don’t you know thinking about these things too early will ruin you? What good is being pretty? Women never come out ahead in relationships! Just look at your sister! Huh?!”
“Sister was ruined by you all!” The rage in her chest erupted as Qiao Qingyu shouted recklessly, “You sent her back to the countryside, into Qiao Jinrui’s wolf den! Have you ever felt guilty? You just know how to blame us! You think you’re the most hardworking and clear-headed person in the world! We’re always wrong! You keep saying it’s for our good, but you’re just self-congratulating! You’re pushing me to a dead end, and sooner or later you’ll ruin me too, you believe it or not?!”
Li Fanghao was first shocked, then her eyes turned red and her lips trembled as she raised her right hand: “Get out, leave, I won’t look after you anymore.”
Qiao Qingyu returned her look with unrestrained hatred: “I’m going.”
To keep her tears from falling, she lifted her chin and had just raised her foot when Li Fanghao lunged at her like a madwoman. After one resounding slap, uncontrolled palms rained down like storm drops on Qiao Qingyu’s chest and shoulders. Qiao Jinyu rushed in at the sound and pulled Li Fanghao away, then Qiao Lusheng pushed the chest-beating, foot-stamping Li Fanghao into the bedroom. Immediately after, sharp arguing erupted from the next room.
“You’re playing the good guy again? I’m disciplining my daughter, who do you think you are?!”
Li Fanghao’s voice was grief-stricken and shrill as if she were pointing at Qiao Lusheng’s nose.
“Look at yourself, acting crazy like this! You call this looking after daughters? Ruining Xiaobai wasn’t enough? You’ll drive Qingqing to death!” Qiao Lusheng fought back, his voice thunderous, “You’re just a mad woman, look at yourself, you’re more like a lunatic than Sister Qin!”
“I’m mad? I wasn’t mad before, it’s all you Qiao family people who drove me to this…”
Sharp screams came from behind the door, like two beasts tearing at each other, while Qiao Qingyu and Qiao Jinyu sat in silence in the other room, their hearts pounding. After a long while, Qiao Qingyu felt a large hand gently stroking her cheek.
“Does it hurt, sis?”
Only then did Qiao Qingyu feel the stinging pain from that earlier slap. Qiao Jinyu’s hand moved away as he sat beside her, his voice full of sympathy and sincerity: “Sis, Mom was wrong to hit you, but Mom has it hard. You didn’t see how she argued with Grandpa, grandma, Uncle, and Aunt to protect you… Don’t fight with Mom anymore, okay? What happened to big sister is in the past. Brother Jinrui lost his wife and quit his job, he’s been punished already. Let’s not bring it up anymore, okay? Let’s be peaceful like before as a family, okay?”
The tearing and fighting next door continued, with the word “divorce” frequently bursting from Qiao Lusheng and Li Fanghao’s mouths, piercing Qiao Qingyu until she bled.
“Okay.”
She nodded to her brother, hugged him tightly, and broke down sobbing.
The day after the iron bars were installed on the window, the Qiao Family Handmade Noodle Shop reopened. Since Qiao Huan hadn’t returned to Huanzhou yet, Qiao Jinyu became the shop’s temporary waiter. Li Fanghao was the first to rise and the last to leave home, carefully locking the plywood door to Qiao Qingyu’s room before leaving—the new lock was both a safeguard against Qiao Qingyu leaving home unauthorized and punishment for her previous running away.
Qiao Qingyu accepted this lock without complaint. She even felt somewhat grateful, because now her room had daylight and a computer—though the window was airtight and the computer old and unable to connect to the internet. She sat all day under the newspaper-covered glass window, tirelessly battling with the various subjects arranged on her desk. During daylight hours, Li Fanghao returned three times, bringing meals, cleaning the spittoon, and listening with a stern face as Qiao Qingyu reported her completed study tasks while eating. At night, after everyone returned home, Qiao Qingyu had half an hour to wash up. She no longer had to do any housework or laundry, so she also never went to the balcony anymore.
Nor did she notice whether the light across the way ever came on.
Unconsciously, Qiao Qingyu began practicing calligraphy again, using fragments of time to repeatedly etch the blurred ideal characters from her mind onto draft paper. The line “There will be time to ride the wind and waves, to set cloud-like sails across vast seas” that her parents had discarded days ago would occasionally leap into her mind, as vivid and profound as Qiao Baiyu’s unforgettable face that had been etched in memory since childhood. She would allow herself to miss Qiao Baiyu’s bright, smiling eyes, but permitted her thoughts to stay only there.
People of exceptional beauty often share similarities. So she was extremely careful, afraid that if she wasn’t vigilant, her thoughts would drift to Mingsheng’s bright black eyes.
The household grew both noisier and more oppressive. Qiao Lusheng and Li Fanghao now frequently quarreled, yet seemed to be in an endless cold war. Qiao Jinyu had notably become much quieter. Every night, Qiao Qingyu forced herself to sleep early, curling up in the middle of her bed with eyes tightly shut, like a naive child trying to imagine all the surrounding pain as merely a dream.
One early morning, in the space between sleep and wakefulness, Qiao Qingyu was awakened by Qiao Jinyu knocking on the plywood wall.
“Xiaoyu?”
“Check under the door, sis,” Qiao Jinyu said against the wall. “Yesterday when I was settling accounts, a boy slipped me a letter for you. Quick, put it away before Mom finds it.”
Qiao Qingyu rolled over in an instant and indeed found a white envelope under the door.
As soon as her parents and Qiao Jinyu left, she hurriedly turned on the desk lamp. The envelope was pure white without any writing, its flap firmly sealed with glue. It must be from Mingsheng, Qiao Qingyu couldn’t help thinking as she grabbed a small knife and opened the envelope with extreme nervousness and meticulous care.
A folded white paper fell out. Unfolded, it contained one English sentence:
Ifyouwannarunawayagain,Icanstillhelpyouwithanything. (If you want to run away again, I can still help you with anything.)
Written in English to avoid interception by Li Fanghao. Seeing “Anything” again made Qiao Qingyu’s heart flutter just like the first time. But reason quickly suppressed the feeling, and she became irritated, her chest in turmoil. Didn’t my mother scare you off? she thought somewhat resentfully. My mother threatened to burn down your house—did you think she was joking? Do you think that between you and my mother, between you and my family, between you and my future, I would choose you?
She slowly tore the envelope into pieces. Mingsheng seemed even more eager than her for an “escape”—perhaps to him, this was just an exciting game. Qiao Qingyu felt displeasure rise in her heart, while simultaneously feeling sorry towards Mingsheng for this displeasure—don’t try to help me, she thought, don’t add to my pain anymore.
She spent a long day in unprecedented internal conflict. At night, when the house fell silent and Qiao Jinyu finally turned off his light next door, Qiao Qingyu knocked on the plywood wall beside her bed.
“Xiaoyu?”
Qiao Jinyu lowered his voice to ask what was wrong.
“I need to go out for a while, can you help me?”
“Go out for what? Mom will kill me if she finds out.”
Qiao Qingyu pondered briefly: “I need to see Mingsheng.”
She heard Qiao Jinyu let out a long, resigned sigh, but when he spoke, his voice was full of excitement: “Sis, what’s going on between you and Mingsheng? Why did Mom go yell at him? Did he do something to you? With Mom treating him like this, won’t he retaliate against you at school? Oh, and you know what? The newsstand owner’s wife is so annoying. She never used to come to our shop, but now she comes for breakfast every day, cornering Mom and saying she saw you and Mingsheng in the same taxi, saying she’s certain about what you were wearing… But Mom firmly denies you ever went to Mingsheng’s house, and tells Dad and me never to mention that you went there. The newsstand owner’s wife keeps praising Mingsheng, implying that you’re pursuing him while Mom won’t admit it, but how could you be that kind of person? Right, sis! Never mind Mom, I’m about to die from anger…”
“Chase her away,” Qiao Qingyu couldn’t help interrupting. “Tomorrow when she comes, tell her we’re out of whatever she orders, make her leave.”
“If we anger her, won’t she spread more bad talk about our family?” Qiao Jinyu said. “Mom said we’ve rented the shop and this house for a whole year. When the lease expires in July, we’ll move. Then, after you graduate from high school next year, you’ll go to college in another city, I’ll stay in Huanzhou for school, and Mom and Dad will return to Shunyun. That way the financial pressure will be a bit less.”
When Qiao Qingyu remained silent, Qiao Jinyu asked again: “Sis, what happened between you and Mingsheng?”
The twenty-four hours at Mingsheng’s house flashed through Qiao Qingyu’s mind like a fast-forwarded movie. Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes, and she fought back the tightness in her throat: “Nothing happened.”
“Then how did you end up at his house?”
“Just coincidence, not worth mentioning,” Qiao Qingyu whispered. “It won’t happen a second time. Just follow Mom’s words and act like I never went to his house.”
“Sis,” Qiao Jinyu sighed, “Maybe before we were too young, and big sister never told us anything, but you and I are about the same age. You can tell me everything. If Mingsheng bullied you, I’ll help you. Don’t… keep it all bottled up inside. It’s better to talk to me than anyone else, you know? If someone’s bullying you, don’t tell Mom and Dad first, you must tell me, okay? I do practice fighting, after all.”
“Where did your mind go? He didn’t bully me,” Qiao Qingyu chuckled softly, feeling warmth surge in her heart. “I told you it was just a coincidence.”
“Alright,” Qiao Jinyu yawned. “I’ll find a way to get you out. But remember, you’re the one who encouraged me to be a thief this time. If Mom and Dad catch us, you have to speak up for me.”
“A thief?”
“How else will you get out without stealing Mom’s key and making a copy?” Qiao Jinyu countered. “Also, about last time when I took Mom’s gold bracelet—I’m sorry you suffered for it. I regretted it as soon as I took it, but I didn’t have time to put it back and didn’t dare tell you, so…”
“I don’t blame you,” Qiao Qingyu said frankly. “Besides, you’re taking risks to help me again now, so let’s call it even.”
“Oh right, if you want to meet Mingsheng, you need to tell him in advance, right? I’m thinking tomorrow or the day after, in the afternoon. You’ll only have two hours at most.”
“That’s enough,” Qiao Qingyu said. “When I get out, I’ll borrow your phone to call him. He should come.”
“Are you sure?”
Qiao Qingyu wasn’t just sure, she was certain, but to Qiao Jinyu, she only replied “I hope so.” The reason was simple—her absolute trust in Mingsheng that had emerged from somewhere in her heart, her certainty that he would put her first, and the dizzying ambiguity between them that was crying to be acknowledged, were things she had to bury, never to be revealed to anyone.