Eleventh Young Lady had absolutely no idea what was going on in Xu Lingyi’s mind.
After the second day of the second month had passed, she first summoned Chang Jiuhe to discuss matters concerning the farm estates, and then summoned Wan Yizong to discuss affairs with the orchards.
When the proper business had been concluded, Wan Yizong said: “Jiang Bingzheng has gone to manage another shop as its head steward, and the couple Liu Yuanrui spends much of their time helping out at the bridal shop. The orchard doesn’t have a great deal to occupy us, except during the season when fruits and melons are brought in. If Madam finds him suitable, I could have our second son, Erxian, go and look after the residence on your behalf.”
Eleventh Young Lady had, in fact, been troubled over precisely this matter.
The two residences that had come as part of her dowry were both somewhat aged, and with no one to tend to them, they had been falling into greater disrepair by the year. The previous winter, after only a snowfall of modest size, the roof of one of the east wing rooms had collapsed entirely under the weight.
“Let us speak of that again in a few days.” She smiled and sent Wan Yizong on his way, then waited for Xu Lingyi to return so she could discuss the matter with him. “…I was thinking of having Steward Bai help sell off the two dowry residences and pool the money together to purchase a finer property.”
Xu Lingyi considered the matter. “The one in Jinyujin Lane is quite good, actually — the alley is spacious and the surroundings are peaceful and secluded. I think it would be more cost-effective to sell off the other property and put the money toward a thorough renovation of the Jinyujin Lane one, rather than purchasing something new entirely.”
She was now Xu née Luo. Even if she wished to stay for a time at a secondary residence to clear her head, the Xu household had more than enough properties to offer — the Jinyujin Lane house would hardly be her first choice. Setting aside the matter of distance, it was indeed a fine place. And now that the wife of Liu Yuanrui had taken on the added duty of keeping night watch over the bridal shop, that property was more or less standing empty.
“Then tomorrow I shall speak with Steward Bai about it.” Eleventh Young Lady smiled. “We can get the Jinyujin Lane property properly renovated before summer arrives.”
Xu Lingyi nodded, then turned the conversation to the brothers Xu Siqin and Xu Sijian: “…By rough calculation, they should arrive no later than mid-third-month. Both boys have grown older now — they cannot lodge in the inner courtyard. I will have the Yuanxiang Pavilion in the outer courtyard prepared for them to stay in. For the time being, they can study alongside Zhun Ge and Jie Ge under Teacher Zhao.”
“Zhun Ge has only just begun his studies, and Jie Ge is really just going along for the ride.” Eleventh Young Lady hesitated. “Qin Ge and Jian Ge are different — both of them have been studying the eight-legged essay format with their clan school teachers. It seems to me that you and Third Master really ought to have a proper talk about what plans he has for the two boys. If they intend to pursue the civil examinations, having them sit in on Teacher Zhao’s readings of miscellaneous texts would be a waste of their time — it would be far better to have them attend the Jinxi Academy alongside Yu Ge. But if they plan to rely on hereditary privilege for an appointment, then it would not matter either way.”
“That is exactly what I was thinking!” Xu Lingyi heard her out and gave a rueful laugh. “But Third Brother kept hedging, without giving a clear answer, so I can only settle the boys in first and see.”
The husband and wife talked on together at length about domestic matters before blowing out the lamp and retiring for the night.
Xu Lingyi drew Eleventh Young Lady into his arms as he always did. Several times his hand slipped inside her garment and moved over her skin in slow, searching caresses — then stopped itself.
He thought of that soul-stealing pleasure, then feared his own rashness… a profound and contradictory state of mind.
Eleventh Young Lady, drawn tightly into his embrace, was keenly aware of his agitation. She felt puzzled.
There was no particular reason she could discern — so why had Xu Lingyi suddenly begun restraining himself in this way?
As she lay there turning it over in her mind, Xu Lingyi’s movements grew bolder and bolder, the atmosphere between them more and more charged with intimacy… Eleventh Young Lady felt herself go soft and pliant all over, a faint, involuntary sound escaping from her lips… but the tender, loving attention she had come to expect did not follow. She could not help it — mortified indignation surged through her. She flung aside the quilt and jumped out of bed.
Xu Lingyi quickly caught her from behind.
“Such a temper!” he laughed, gathering her into his embrace, while pressing his face affectionately against hers.
Eleventh Young Lady turned her face away and refused to acknowledge him.
“Come now,” Xu Lingyi murmured, brushing his lips over her hair, her forehead, the corner of her mouth… tender and gentle, with a careful, cherishing quality to his touch. “Don’t be angry.”
Eleventh Young Lady had been given a way down from her high horse. She began to feel a little better, but still could not resist saying with a playful pout: “Does the Marquis find it amusing to tease this concubine in such a fashion?”
Like a child nursing a grievance.
The thought struck him, and Xu Lingyi felt a warm, tingling sweetness spread through his chest.
“You little fool,” he said, his voice carrying a softness and indulgence he had not expected even from himself. “I tease you because I am fond of you.”
Like a stone dropped into a still pool, those words startled both of them motionless.
For a moment, the room fell utterly silent — only the steady tick-tock of the clock’s pendulum could be heard.
In the unease and awkwardness that followed, Xu Lingyi pulled back the arms that held Eleventh Young Lady, then felt this too cold and distant, and stopped. He said, in a somewhat sheepish tone: “It is not early. And you have been suffering from spring fatigue — go to sleep soon.”
Eleventh Young Lady’s heart was in chaos. Afraid that he might say something else that would be impossible to answer, she gave a soft “mm” and quickly closed her eyes.
The room fell quiet once more. Each could hear the other’s shallow breathing.
Without a word between them, both turned and lay with their backs to each other.
Before long, a draft that was not quite cold seeped in from the gap between them.
Eleventh Young Lady gripped the edge of the quilt tightly and counted little white lambs one by one in her mind.
…One thousand, two hundred and eighty-four… no, that was wrong — it should be one thousand, three hundred and eighty-four… no, it should be one thousand, two hundred and eighty-four. She had just counted one thousand, one hundred and eighty-four a little while ago, so the next should indeed be one thousand, two hundred and eighty-four…
Her mind was a muddled blur.
She decided to start over from the beginning.
She had only reached forty-eight when warmth flooded her back.
Xu Lingyi had moved close to her!
The thought flashed through her mind. The slight stiffness that had crept into her body slowly dissolved.
Eleventh Young Lady lay with her eyes wide open, gazing at the sachet hanging on the gauze bed-curtain — only its faint outline visible — and could not tell at what point she finally fell asleep.
Over the next few days, though the two of them carried on as before — laughing and talking, consulting together about selling one of Eleventh Young Lady’s dowry residences, settling on timber and bricks, engaging craftsmen, and setting the sixteenth of the fourth month as the date for breaking ground — the moment night fell and they lay together in the same bed, both felt a certain awkwardness. To cover it, they cast about for topics. Sometimes they spoke of how Xu Siyu had been shutting himself away these days in hard and diligent study, and was surely bound to pass the prefectural examination this time; sometimes they talked of how pleased Xu Sizhun had been to hear that Xu Siqin and Xu Sijian would be returning; sometimes they brought up the matter of increasing Teacher Zhao’s tutor’s fee. By the time they had talked themselves tired, sleep came naturally. The following morning, they would sometimes wake to find Eleventh Young Lady had tossed the bolster pillow aside and was resting her head sideways on Xu Lingyi’s shoulder; other times, Xu Lingyi would be lying on his side with his arm draped over her.
Whenever this happened, Xu Lingyi thought he ought to tease her lightly about it, as he would have done before.
But Eleventh Young Lady had become peculiarly sensitive. The slightest movement on his part and she was awake. She would ask what hour it was, then rise quickly, wash and dress herself, exchange pleasantries with the Yiniangs and children who came to pay their morning respects, attend to Xu Lingyi’s breakfast, pay her respects to the Grand Dowager Lady, and then proceed to the main hall to give instructions to the managing nannies… there was never a quiet moment. She had also sent that Wan Erxian to help her oversee the renovation of the Jinyujin Lane property; she conferred with Hupo and Zhuxiang about the layout and arrangement of the residence; she went rummaging through the storerooms that held her dowry, turning over boxes and trunks in search of porcelain pieces and folding screens; she summoned Ji Ting’s wife to ask whether it would be better to plant magnolia trees before the main hall or to construct a wisteria trellis instead… then there was Fifth Lady, who had come to consult her about the arrangements for Xin Jie’er’s birthday, and Fourth Lady, who had sent a card inviting her to come to the courtyard at Sijiao Hutong for a bowl of longevity noodles on the occasion of Jia Ge’s birthday, and there was the business of matchmaking between Madame Gan’s niece and Fourth Lady’s eldest son, Yu Cheng. She was busy to the point of never having her feet planted firmly on the ground.
No one else seemed to notice, but those who attended Eleventh Young Lady most closely — Hupo and the others — could sense the change in Xu Lingyi. They all felt vaguely uneasy, and began each morning’s service at Xu Lingyi’s breakfast table with an added measure of trepidation.
Eleventh Young Lady saw it all, and a sudden heaviness settled in her heart.
So this was what “fondness” amounted to, in the end.
She bowed her head and ate her breakfast in silence, growing quieter still.
Xu Lingyi saw that her expression had grown dim and listless. He took a mouthful of plain white congee and could not seem to swallow it for a long moment. He was the one who was not speaking to her — and she was certainly not going to speak first. It seemed almost as if she was at odds with him. As that thought crossed his mind, the hardness that had just formed in his heart softened at once, and he felt instead that he had been a little petty.
Xu Lingyi sighed quietly to himself, and then pushed a plate of fresh chilled cucumber salad toward her. “You usually love this dish best — why haven’t you touched it today?”
Eleventh Young Lady looked up in mild surprise to find Xu Lingyi looking at her with a fondly exasperated smile.
“Go on and eat,” Xu Lingyi said, picking up a slice of cucumber and placing it in the small gilded dish before her. “We still need to pay our respects to Mother afterward.”
Eleventh Young Lady’s heart was a tangle of mingled feelings. She gave a soft murmur and brought a piece of cucumber to her lips.
It was crisp and refreshing, dressed with vinegar — at once sour and sweet, wonderfully clean on the palate. She reached for several more pieces in a row.
Xu Lingyi shook his head with a smile.
A little maidservant came in to report: “Marquis, Madam — Steward Zhao from the outer courtyard has sent a servant boy to ask whether the Third-of-the-Third Month Spring Banquet this year should follow the same guest list as last year for sending out invitations.”
It was an indirect reminder to Eleventh Young Lady.
A warmth crept into her cheeks.
She had been so occupied these past days with the business of arranging the match for Yu Cheng that she had completely neglected this matter.
Eleventh Young Lady rose to her feet: “I will go and send him the guest list right away.” Before her words had finished, she felt the room spin and her vision go completely dark.
“What is it?” Xu Lingyi, seated across from her, had only seen her sway — and then her face drained of color, white as paper, her hands groping blindly for the edge of the heated platform. Knowing something was wrong, he rose immediately to steady her.
Eleventh Young Lady closed her eyes, and after a long moment, slowly opened them again.
“It is nothing.” She managed a pale smile. “I must have stood up too quickly.”
Xu Lingyi’s heart lurched.
Only someone whose body was severely weakened could be made ill by rising too quickly. That thought, combined with the recollection of the standoff between them, left him no time to consider propriety — he gathered Eleventh Young Lady up in his arms and lifted her off the ground.
Eleventh Young Lady cried out in surprise; another wave of dizziness swept over her, and she felt all strength leave her body. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself against his chest.
The servants in the room filed out one by one with quiet efficiency.
“Eleventh Young Lady! Eleventh Young Lady!” Xu Lingyi’s heart was gripped with panic. Eleventh Young Lady was normally thin-skinned, and under ordinary circumstances she would never have slumped against him like this. For her to do so now meant she must be feeling truly terrible. “Where does it hurt?” Without waiting for her reply, he called to Hupo: “Quickly — bring a slice of ginseng!” Then he instructed Lvyun: “Go and fetch the physician at once.” He then carefully set Eleventh Young Lady down on the bed and, pressing his hand gently to her forehead, asked her in a soft voice: “Where does it hurt?”
Everywhere hurt.
Eleventh Young Lady lay weakly on the bed, yet her reply had nothing to do with his question: “Marquis — please have Yan Rong come in to help me take off my jacket.”
Xu Lingyi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “At a time like this, and that is what you are thinking of.” Even as he spoke, following her usual custom, he helped her out of her jacket himself and drew a light blanket over her.
Hupo came in carrying a slice of ginseng.
Xu Lingyi helped Eleventh Young Lady sit up. “Here — take this and let it dissolve under your tongue. You will feel better once the physician arrives.”
Eleventh Young Lady nodded and placed the ginseng slice in her mouth. Before she had even lain back down, she shoved Xu Lingyi abruptly aside and leaned over the edge of the bed and retched.
—