“Ask Fifth Uncle?” Xu Sijie’s expression became troubled. “But we’ve been investigating the past behind Father’s back… I’m afraid Fifth Uncle won’t help us either!”

In his impression, Fifth Uncle had always been quite cold toward him. He wasn’t confident that Fifth Uncle would necessarily help them. However, Fifth Uncle treated Fourth Brother with a warm and pleasant manner. Perhaps if Fourth Brother went to ask, it might be different…

While he was mulling this over, Xu Sizhun had already smiled and said, “Of course we can’t ask directly. We need an excuse — just say we happened to hear that Liu Huifang and Liu Kui were father and son, and ask Fifth Uncle to tell us about what happened back then.” The more he spoke, the more viable his idea seemed to him. “Fifth Uncle loves nothing more than telling people these kinds of anecdotes. If we question him carefully and persistently, we’re bound to get something out of him.” With that, he pulled Xu Sijie toward Fifth Madam’s quarters. “Just trust me — you can’t go wrong!”

Xu Sijie hesitated briefly, then followed behind Xu Sizhun.

Xu Lingkuan was not at home.

“What do you want him for?” Fifth Madam had a maidservant bring out fresh persimmons and oranges to receive them. “He won’t be back until the first watch of the evening.”

The two of them were somewhat disappointed.

“We heard that we’ve welcomed a new niece, and Third Uncle is hosting a theatrical performance by the Deyin Troupe. We came to ask Fifth Uncle which operas they’ll be performing.” Xu Sizhun exchanged a few pleasantries with Fifth Madam before rising to take his leave.

Passing by the back gate of the main hall, two young maidservants who hadn’t yet put up their hair sat on the steps playing cat’s cradle.

“How about we go sit in Mother’s room for a while?” Xu Sizhun said. “And then go back to Fifth Aunt’s place around the first watch.”

Xu Sijie, however, felt something akin to a traveler’s reluctance upon nearing his hometown.

He gazed at the oil-green branches stretching out from behind the white-washed walls. Suddenly, the image of Eleven’s smiling eyes surfaced in his mind, and he seemed to faintly hear her gentle voice calling, “Jie’er, slow down…”

Xu Sijie’s gaze grew dim and clouded.

He shook his head softly, and said with a bitter edge to his voice, “Let’s just go back to our room and wait.” His shoulders drooping, he walked past the back gate of the main hall.

The two young maidservants quickly stood and called out, “Fourth Young Master, Fifth Young Master!”

Xu Sijie was lost in his thoughts, completely oblivious.

Xu Sizhun, meanwhile, gave them a smiling nod and quickened his pace to catch up with Xu Sijie.

“I think you really don’t need to take this to heart at all.” These past few days, Xu Sizhun had watched every moment of Xu Sijie’s suffering and struggle, and his compassion for this younger brother had grown deeper than ever before. “In the eyes of the world, you are the Fifth Young Master of Marquis Yongping’s household. Father doesn’t pursue the matter. Mother doesn’t pursue it. Who else has the right to? Whatever others say is nothing but idle gossip…”

“I know.” Xu Sijie cut Xu Sizhun off, his voice despondent. “But I feel so unsettled inside… The more kindly you all treat me, the more unsettled I become…”

Xu Sizhun’s expression changed abruptly at these words. He stopped dead in his tracks, standing there in a daze.

Finding himself suddenly without a companion beside him, Xu Sijie couldn’t help but turn around. “What’s wrong…” What met his eyes was Xu Sizhun’s face, which had gone somewhat pale.

Had something happened? Had he offended Fourth Brother by rudely interrupting him, making him angry? Or had he said something without realizing it that displeased Fourth Brother?

The thought flashed through his mind, and Xu Sijie immediately dismissed it.

Fourth Brother wasn’t someone so petty. It was rather himself — ever since he had begun to doubt his own identity, he had become consumed by suspicion and doubt…

“Fourth Brother!” He reached out sheepishly and tugged at Xu Sizhun’s sleeve.

As if struck by lightning, Xu Sizhun gave a start, grabbed Xu Sijie’s hand, and ran toward the outer courtyard.

“Fourth Brother!” Xu Sijie was stunned.

“Don’t say a word.” Xu Sizhun shouted out sharply, fine beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. “Let’s get back to Danbozhai quickly.”

His strange behavior left Xu Sijie not daring to ask more. He followed him, half-jogging all the way back to Danbozhai.

Xu Sizhun, heedless of the maidservants and wives who were bowing to him along the way, called out loudly for Wang Shu, then leaned close and whispered a few words in his ear. With a sharp bang, he shut the door.

“Fourth Brother, what’s the matter with you?” Xu Sijie asked, bewildered.

“Nothing, nothing!” Xu Sizhun’s gaze was restless and uneasy as he thought over the notion that had just come to him. “Let’s just stay inside for a bit.” He then found a book and handed it to Xu Sijie. “Why don’t you read for a while?” — while he himself paced back and forth about the room, visibly agitated.

In such a state, how could Xu Sijie possibly read? He asked several times, but Xu Sizhun only kept telling him to wait. He had no choice but to prop up his chin and watch Xu Sizhun pace in circles around the room.

After roughly the time it takes an incense stick to burn, Wang Shu came to knock at the door.

Xu Sizhun abandoned Xu Sijie and slipped out.

Before long, he came back.

Xu Sijie immediately stood up. “What… what happened…” A sense of foreboding had taken hold of him.

“Fifth Brother,” Xu Sizhun’s lips trembled slightly, “if even we could find this out… Father was fighting in the northwest at the time… how could Father himself not have known… Father is Marquis Yongping — who could ever wrong him… And after so many years, he never pursued the matter… it must have been willing… It is said that back then, Fifth Uncle even kept a theater troupe and learned to perform opera himself… Afterward, everyone who knew of the Liu family’s old affairs simply vanished…”

It was that he had just suddenly recalled, from when he was little, the time their grandmother had flown into a rage over Fifth Uncle sponsoring a theater troupe. The lead performer of that troupe had apparently been surnamed Liu. He had sent Wang Shu to inquire among the old-timers in the household, and it was confirmed that the lead performer had indeed been Liu Huifang.

Xu Sizhun’s voice quavered and his words came out in no particular order, but Xu Sijie understood him clearly.

His face turned the same color as Xu Sizhun’s — a faint, creeping pallor.

The two brothers’ gazes fell, unbidden, in the direction of where Fifth Madam resided.

How could that be?

It couldn’t be.

How could he possibly be Fifth Uncle’s son?

It couldn’t be.

If he was not Father’s son, then he should have been adopted for the sake of Concubine Tong. How could he possibly be Fifth Uncle’s son?

He thought of the flash of warmth in Father’s eyes when he had used his handkerchief to wipe the corner of his mouth. He thought of Father’s look of quiet pride when he saw that he could write small characters. He thought of a certain person’s utter indifference to him during the festive gatherings, when the whole room was lively and full of warmth. He thought of that same person’s coldness toward him when they chanced upon each other along the way…

“Isn’t there some mistake?” Xu Sijie gripped Xu Sizhun’s arm tightly. “Have Wang Shu go and ask again. It must be a mistake, it must be a mistake…”

Xu Sizhun said nothing. He simply looked at him in silence, his eyes full of compassion.

It was as though a raging fire had ignited within his chest.

Xu Sijie’s eyes turned red. He shoved open the lattice partition and stumbled outside, running: “I have to go ask — I have to go ask…”

A young maidservant couldn’t get out of the way in time and was knocked to the ground by Xu Sijie, but his footsteps only grew faster.

This was bad!

The way he was acting, it would certainly cause a scene that the whole household would know about.

If Father were to ask about it later, what could he possibly say in reply?

“Fifth Brother!” Xu Sizhun’s face changed drastically. Not daring to hesitate for even a moment, he immediately gave chase, calling out to Wang Shu who was keeping watch outside the door, “Hurry and stop the Fifth Young Master!”

Wang Shu called out “Yes!” loudly and gave chase.

Xu Sizhun, too, ran hard after him, panting for breath. “Fifth Brother, wait for me!”

The quick-witted Huoqing saw what was happening and also followed.

The square flagstones underfoot, the tall columns on black-lacquered lotus-flower bases — still and stately — the towering trees, lush and green, serene and unhurried… all those scenes that had once made him feel a sense of beauty now seemed utterly unfamiliar to him.

Tears blurred Xu Sijie’s vision.

He had to go and ask… Fourth Brother must have made a mistake; he had to go and find out for himself…

Someone grabbed his arm.

He struggled with all his might, throwing the person off behind him.

“Fifth Young Master!” Wang Shu had not expected Xu Sijie to break free from his grip. He stood there stunned for a moment, then quickly caught up again with Xu Sijie, who was charging about like a headless fly. This time, having learned his lesson, he came at Xu Sijie from behind and tackled him around the waist.

Xu Sijie thrashed about like a fish pulled from the water, but no matter how he twisted and leaped, he could not break free.

“Let go of me, let go of me!” Xu Sijie shouted and screamed, his neck thick and red. “You’re all lying to me, you’re all lying to me…”

Passing servants and wives had stopped at a distance, pointing and whispering.

Xu Sizhun, who had seized the opportunity to catch up, his lips white and his breath ragged, grabbed Jie Ge’s hand firmly. “Do you want to cause a scene for the entire household to see? When that happens, what will Mother do? Help you make apologies, or go plead for you before Grandmother?”

Xu Sijie went rigid, standing there frozen.

Fifth Brother held Mother in the deepest respect.

Xu Sizhun exhaled with relief. “Drag him back and don’t let anyone make a spectacle of this!”

Huoqing quickly stepped forward to help Wang Shu haul Xu Sijie back to Danbozhai.

Biluo came out, her expression anxious. “What on earth happened?”

“Fifth Brother and I had a quarrel.” Xu Sizhun said, still catching his breath. “Have everyone withdraw. If anyone dares breathe a word of this, they’ll be sold off to a trafficker immediately!”

He had always treated people with gentleness and ease, and his sudden severe tone startled everyone — not just Biluo, but even those maidservants who had been watching the commotion. Without waiting for Biluo to give the order, not a single person remained in the courtyard.

Xu Sizhun shut the door.

“Fifth Brother, don’t be like this!” He looked at Xu Sijie’s phoenix eyes, wide and staring, and felt a deep ache in his heart. “Maybe we’ve made a mistake. Fifth Uncle hasn’t even come back yet, has he? We can go and ask him when the time comes…” He offered comfort he didn’t himself believe.

“All right, all right, all right!” At this, Xu Sijie broke into a smile more wretched than weeping. “You’ll help me find out — you’ll help me find out. It must be a mistake.”

How he regretted it!

Why had he ever gone looking for the woman who had given birth to him?

He would rather have believed himself to be adopted by the Xu family.

That way, he would have remained, forever and always, the son of Xu Lingyi and Eleven.

“The moment Fifth Uncle returns, I’ll go and ask!” Xu Sizhun quickly soothed him. “Don’t worry — I’ll definitely find out the truth for you!”

But Xu Sijie was suddenly gripped by a different kind of fear.

He thought of the woman who would gather him into her arms with heartfelt tenderness, who made delicious pastries for him, who listened patiently to the jarring sound of his flute-playing, who held his hand and walked him to the courtyard gate to see him off to school, who sat with him under the lamplight practicing calligraphy, who checked his lessons, and who built him a workshop…

If Fifth Uncle said “yes”… what would he do?

Xu Sizhun clenched his fists tightly, his fingernails digging into his palms, the pain cutting straight through to his heart.

“No, no, no.” He broke out in a cold sweat. “Don’t go and ask. Don’t ask anyone…” Then he said again, “Actually, you should still help me go and ask…” Back and forth he went, one moment like this, the next like that, his words becoming somewhat incoherent, his conflicted emotions written plainly on his face.

Xu Sizhun thought of the two of them going to school together, reading together, playing cuju together, jumping rope together — and his heart was filled with a quiet ache.

Wang Shu and Huoqing had already tiptoed away.

Xu Sizhun settled into a nearby armchair and said softly, “Fifth Brother, don’t worry. No matter what, the kindness you’ve shown me is real, and the bond I feel for you is real. And there’s Father, Mother, Second Brother, Sixth Brother…”

“Fourth Brother!” Xu Sijie took hold of Xu Sizhun’s hand, and tears fell, one by one.

—