Sheng Xia stood dumbfounded in the hotel lobby. How was it already 1 AM? If it weren’t for the midnight fireworks at the bar, she would have thought it was just 9 or 10 PM. She hadn’t paid attention to time all evening, barely checking her phone. Her roommates had been frantically calling her in the dorm group chat with no response. If they hadn’t known she was out on a date with Zhang Shu, they probably would have called the police by now.
After Sheng Xia replied to their messages confirming she was safe, the tone in the dorm chat suddenly shifted to teasing wishes for early childbearing. Reading those messages made her whole body flush with embarrassment.
If it had only been midnight, she could have sweet-talked the dorm supervisor, but returning at this hour would not only earn her a scolding but potentially a formal warning if she was unlucky. Moreover, her electric scooter Xiao Mo didn’t have enough battery to make it back to campus, and if she took a taxi now, she’d need to come back tomorrow to retrieve it.
For all these reasons, Sheng Xia was destined to spend the night out.
When they left the bar, Zhang Shu’s casual “Let’s get a room” had left her stunned. Get a room? Get! A! Room!
Perhaps her anxiety was too obvious, as Zhang Shu stroked her cheek and said, “If you’re uncomfortable, I can go back to campus and pick you up in the morning.”
He hadn’t brought his ID, and since Hai Yan’s dorm had no curfew, he could return anytime.
Sheng Xia’s mind was in chaos, unsure how to respond, so she remained silent.
Zhang Shu took her silence as agreement with his suggestion.
They walked to the hotel in silence. Upon entering, Sheng Xia kept her head so low she might as well have been trying to burrow into the ground, unable to meet the receptionist’s eyes even while standing at the front desk.
Zhang Shu watched her with amusement, taking her ID to handle the check-in.
“Ma’am, please verify your identity with facial recognition,” the receptionist prompted.
Sheng Xia reluctantly raised her head, and seeing the receptionist’s professional demeanor helped ease her tension slightly.
After getting the room key and registering as a visitor, Zhang Shu accompanied her upstairs to inspect the room.
In the elevator, they each occupied opposite corners.
Sheng Xia glimpsed him through the elevator mirror’s reflection. He held the bouquet of French marigolds in one hand, his other hand casually resting on the elevator rail as he leaned against it, head down, toe-tapping occasionally.
What was he thinking? Frustrated? Upset?
That night during the power outage in their senior year, he had looked down at his feet the same way on the dark athletic field.
Reaching their floor, Zhang Shu stepped out of the elevator, and noticing she hadn’t followed, turned back to hold the closing doors, asking, “What’s wrong? Don’t want to stay at the hotel?”
Sheng Xia shook her head and followed him.
Zhang Shu naturally took her hand.
Though reflected in the hallway mirrors they were still just holding hands, Sheng Xia felt something was different.
Silence always lets thoughts wander unchecked.
Looking at his broad back before her, Sheng Xia felt uncertain.
Was he upset that she hadn’t immediately agreed to stay together?
She wasn’t afraid or particularly resistant, just nervous. He said she seemed uncomfortable, and he truly understood her, but this discomfort wasn’t because it was him, but rather…
Sheng Xia couldn’t even figure it out herself, as an inexplicable sadness swept over her, its source impossible to pinpoint.
A “beep” sounded as the room door opened, and Sheng Xia tensed up again.
Zhang Shu inserted the power card, turning on the lights. He went in, placed the flowers on the desk, and systematically checked the electronics, bathroom mirror, doors, and windows.
Sheng Xia stood by the door watching him busy himself while two little figures fought in her mind—should she ask him to stay or not?
If she wanted him to stay, how should she bring it up?
This was a room with a double bed, after all.
Zhang Shu lifted the blanket to check, then dusted off his hands, “Everything looks fine, you can rest…”
He looked up, stopping mid-sentence. Because she was still standing at the doorway, with the door open.
It looked like she was ready to see him off at any moment.
Zhang Shu laughed in exasperation, crossing his arms as he quietly watched her.
They stared at each other for several inexplicable seconds before Zhang Shu stepped toward the exit. At her doorway, he lifted her chin for a kiss, “I’ll head back then. Call me if you need anything.”
Sheng Xia felt his lips weren’t as warm as before.
Cold.
The word just popped into her mind, and a chill ran up her spine.
She seemed to understand the source of that sadness now—she felt he was being cold, or rather, the atmosphere between them had turned cold as if the temperature had suddenly dropped.
Seeing no response from her, Zhang Shu bent down to examine her face, his tone urgent: “What’s wrong?”
Sheng Xia, drawing courage from somewhere unknown, met his gaze and asked, “Are you angry?”
Zhang Shu found this puzzling, “Why would I be? What would I be angry about?”
“Angry that I didn’t ask you to… to sleep with…” The words were too difficult to say, and Sheng Xia almost stumbled over them.
Zhang Shu was stunned, not expecting her thoughts to go in that direction. He held her face in his hands, “How could I let you think that way? It’s my fault. Tell me, why do you think I’m angry?”
His frank expression and anxious tone suggested she might have overthought things.
But women never respond well to mere consolation. Her emotions, which had remained abstract until now, suddenly became concrete at his words. The urge to cry was almost instantaneous, “You kept quiet, and in the elevator, you were looking at your feet, you… you…”
When trying to “accuse” him, Sheng Xia found she couldn’t articulate anything substantial.
She stumbled over her words: “I don’t know, it just feels like you suddenly became so distant…”
A hotel guest suddenly passed by in the hallway, curiously peering in.
Zhang Shu freed one hand to close the door, then pulled her into his arms, getting straight to the point: “Distant? I wish I could tie you to my waist. I was just thinking about something.”
“Does it take that long to think?” Sheng Xia questioned. He’d been thinking from the bar until now!
Zhang Shu suddenly laughed, as if completely helpless, “I’ll probably need to think about it all night.”
Did she have any idea how much courage and willpower it took to get a hotel room for your girlfriend and then trudge back to the dorm alone?
“Think about what?”
Zhang Shu didn’t know how to explain it to her, afraid the truth would frighten her more.
“It could be classified as one of humanity’s eternal questions.”
Sheng Xia: …
Feeling her body relax slightly, he released her and asked, “What’s this about looking at my feet?”
“The last time you were silent and looking down at your feet like that was at the sports field at our old school, and then you told me ‘This is it.'”
Zhang Shu never expected this answer.
He had always known Sheng Xia was very attentive and sensitive, but he hadn’t realized to what extent.
This was his habit when deep in thought, something he barely noticed himself.
He had deliberately avoided being too intimate on the way here, worried she might overthink things, worried she’d think he was warming her up, worried she’d feel pressured. But they weren’t distant, right? They’d been holding hands the whole time, hadn’t they?
Men and women do focus on and care about different things.
These differences need to be understood in intimate relationships.
Ultimately, he hadn’t given her enough security.
Zhang Shu hugged her tightly again, removed her bothersome hat, and stroked her hair, “That won’t happen again, never again.”
Even as he said it, he felt the words were inadequate. He didn’t have much talent for sweet talk, so he tried a different approach to comfort her: “It was my fault today. You did very well—if you’re unsatisfied, you can speak up; if something’s unclear, you can ask. Thank you for not making me guess all night.”
If unsatisfied, speak up; if unclear, ask.
She did very well.
Sheng Xia hadn’t expected him to think this way. She had been worried about making too big a deal out of nothing, being too sensitive.
“Don’t you find me troublesome like this?”
Zhang Shu blurted out: “You call this trouble? How could it be? I already know your thought process is a bit unique.”
Sheng Xia’s face darkened.
“Two people being together needs adjustment, it’s normal,” Zhang Shu belatedly realized he’d spoken too quickly and tried to recover, “Though I think we’re meant for each other, a perfect match.”
Sheng Xia couldn’t help but laugh at his somewhat proud tone.
He hadn’t said much, but somehow she felt much better.
She raised her arms, sliding them inside his open jacket to wrap around his waist, nuzzling her head against his chest, trying to hug him tighter.
His helpless laugh came from above her head again, “Sheng Xia, stop moving. Just one hug, I need to go.”
Did she not know how dangerous this closeness felt?
After quietly embracing for a moment, Zhang Shu released her, “It’s getting late, go to sleep early, call me when you wake up, and call me anytime if you need anything.”
Sheng Xia wanted to tell him to be careful on his way back, but it felt like she would be rushing him away, so she just nodded.
Zhang Shu opened the door and stepped out, then turned back, suddenly lifting her chin for another kiss, “I’m going.”
“Mm.”
“Mm, remember to call.”
“Mm.”
“Okay, sleep well.”
“Mm.”
Zhang Shu pressed his lips into a straight line, looking back three times before waving at the corner, “Close and lock the door right away.”
Only after seeing her close the door did he press the elevator button to go down.
Sheng Xia leaned against the door, looking at the empty room, feeling empty inside. The air conditioner blew warm air, its sound particularly jarring in the quiet space.
After standing there for who knows how long, she finally started getting ready to shower. Without a change of clothes, she could only wear the bathrobe, washing her underwear and hanging it near the ventilation fan—in winter’s dry air, it would be dry by morning.
By the time she finished, it was past 2 AM. As she prepared to lie down, she found her phone was almost dead and had to call the front desk to borrow a charger.
The young receptionist replied, “There’s one in your bedside drawer that works with any port.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am,” the receptionist lowered her voice, her formal tone suddenly changing, “Um, your friend is resting in the lobby. We have air conditioning, but the temperature might get a bit low after midnight…”
Sheng Xia felt something explode in her mind and she froze, “What? He didn’t leave?”
The staff member, hesitant to discuss personal matters, reverted to her professional tone, “Would you like the hotel to offer any assistance?”
“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.”
After hanging up, Sheng Xia was about to rush downstairs in her slippers when she caught a glimpse of herself—wearing only a bathrobe with nothing underneath. She stopped, instead dialing Zhang Shu’s number. He picked up after one ring, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you asleep yet? Did something happen?”
Sheng Xia was momentarily speechless, unsure whether to scold him for his deception or order him back to campus.
Her few seconds of silence were met with hurried footsteps and the “ding” of an elevator on the other end.
In the quiet night, even the elevator’s mechanical sounds were crystal clear.
Sheng Xia decided to stay silent, leaning against the door. She couldn’t hear his footsteps, either because he was being extremely careful or because of the thick carpet.
But she knew he was rushing toward her, and now he had arrived.
Sheng Xia opened the door.
Outside, the tall, handsome man blocked the hallway light, the phone still pressed to his ear, his chest rising and falling with slightly rapid breaths.
Zhang Shu was startled—he hadn’t even knocked before she opened the door.
They stared at each other in silence, neither lowering their phones.
Sheng Xia looked straight at him, asking nothing.
What was there to ask? Why hadn’t he gone back? Wasn’t the answer obvious?
He’d rushed up at just a silent phone call—how worried must he have been about leaving her alone here?
Sheng Xia spoke softly into the phone: “Um, I think I saw something dirty outside the window. I’m a bit… scared.”
She didn’t question, and he didn’t explain his presence at this hour.
He hung up first, his gaze slightly evasive as he hesitated, “So what do you want to…”
Before he could finish, she took his hand and tugged him inside.
Sheng Xia kept her head down. Zhang Shu could only see her high bun, wet nape, and reddened ears.
They stood in silence for who knows how long until the electronic door began beeping in warning from being open too long.
Zhang Shu felt another tug on his hand as her head dipped even lower.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he stepped inside, hooking the door closed with his foot. It shut with a bang, silencing the warning beep.
Sheng Xia didn’t know what to say and avoided looking at him, turning to walk inside while awkwardly explaining, “Um, you can freshen up first, it’s late.”
Zhang Shu naturally didn’t ask about what dirty thing she’d seen outside the window.
He’d nearly fallen asleep when he got her call. Her silence had made him anxious, and now seeing her in just a bathrobe, he was unusually dazed, as if in a dream.
So he said nothing, changed into slippers, took off his coat, and prepared to take a shower to clear his head. But as soon as he entered the bathroom, he was stunned again.
What was that hanging on the bathroom clothesline?
“Sheng Xia.” His voice was slightly hoarse.
Sheng Xia approached, standing outside the door: “Mm?”
Zhang Shu opened the bathroom door, his face dark, “Your things.”
Sheng Xia looked up, her barely-cooled face burning again.
Her underwear!
Though it was plain black cotton with no suggestive implications, still…
Heaven, help!
“Oh, I’ll take it, you go ahead and shower.” She tried to stay composed, quickly entering to grab the hanger and everything with it, then promptly shutting the door on him.
In the misty bathroom, Zhang Shu pressed one fist against the wall, head down as water cascaded over his head and down his muscular arms. The warmth reminded him of something someone once said about water being like a woman’s hands.
He’d never understood that feeling before, having been used to cold showers all his life, regardless of season, only taking hot showers after his injury. But he’d never had thoughts like this before—today was bewitched.
He felt different—her hands were softer than water.
He suddenly laughed, brushing back the hair falling over his forehead, then roughly rubbing his face with both hands.
Damn!
This was truly maddening.
Sheng Xia burrowed under the covers in her heavy, damp bathrobe, switching between the dorm group chat and her small group chat with Xin Xiaohe and Tao Zhizhi on her phone. In the dead of night, what should she do? Who could she turn to?
Why did it feel like no one could help her?
The little figures in her mind started fighting again—should she pretend to be asleep now, or wait until he came out to calmly tell him there was only one bed so he should sleep on the floor? Then when he refused, and since there were no extra blankets in the room, she could reluctantly let him sleep on the other half of the bed.
Help, help!
Before she could reach any conclusion, the bathroom door opened, steam rushing out. Sheng Xia instinctively tossed her phone aside and immediately closed her eyes.
Oh no, the latter option required too much stable output—she couldn’t handle it.
A shadow fell over her head, warm air wafting over her face. Sheng Xia was so nervous her toes curled under the covers.
Was he looking at her? What would he do?
But after a long while with no movement from him, just as her eyelids were getting heavy, the warm presence retreated, the main light suddenly went off, and then the right side of the bed dipped slightly.
He had gotten into bed.
After some rustling sounds, everything went quiet.
Sheng Xia’s eyelids fluttered as she carefully tried to peek and see if he was asleep, only to unexpectedly meet his bright dark eyes. She quickly shut her eyes again!
Why was he facing her side?
Why were his eyes open?
He didn’t see!
The room only had one-floor lamp on—he didn’t see it!
Sheng Xia’s heart was pounding so hard she felt it might jump out of her throat.
He still wasn’t moving.
He hadn’t seen, right?
Curiosity killed the cat—she slowly opened her eyes again, but before she could fully make out what was in front of her, his presence suddenly overwhelmed her!
Sheng Xia’s waist was pulled by a forceful grip, and she collided with a solid but not uncomfortable “wall.” Then her chin was lifted, and an intense kiss descended upon her.
The series of movements happened so quickly that before she could react, she had already habitually melted into the kiss.
Her lips were thoroughly kissed, both urgent and heavy. In an instant, his tongue slipped in, ruthlessly exploring her mouth, leaving her tongue nowhere to hide as it was frantically tangled and teased.
Her mouth, her breath, her airways, her entire world was filled with his taste…
They had shared countless kisses, but none like this one.
The bed beneath her, his burning chest above her—it was dizzyingly intimate.
He seemed to be giving his all, holding nothing back.
Every peck, suck and bite left its mark, and the hand around her waist was surprisingly strong as if trying to embed her into his body. Sheng Xia had never seen Zhang Shu like this, like a caged beast.
She could barely breathe, her tongue root aching numbly from his intense suction, causing her to let out a muffled whimper.
The next second, the blanket was thrown back, her bathrobe belt had vanished somewhere, and the cool air made her shiver… he quietly covered her, pausing for quite a while.
Sheng Xia’s eyes flew open!
“Mm, Ah Shu—” She reached out, but her hands were instantly pinned above her head, his hands like burning brands.
“Mm—” Her upper body was completely controlled, she could only writhe her lower half.
Her body felt strange, and Sheng Xia couldn’t understand it, so she had to do something to ease the sensation.
Zhang Shu’s lips finally left hers as he propped himself up with one hand, gazing at her intently.
His eyes were somewhat red, his whole body burning hot.
Sheng Xia’s eyes went from dazed to startled but showed no resistance.
In an instant, his lips pressed down again, gently sucking her lower lip, as tender as kissing clouds.
Wind passed over mountains and valleys, burning brands sizzling in the wilderness.
“Ah Shu—” she called out weakly.
“Mm…” he responded vaguely.
“Ah Shu, mm…”
“Be good, don’t call me.”
Zhang Shu couldn’t bear hearing her call him that way. He stopped kissing her, reached for the blanket, and covered her in one motion, then collapsed on top of her over the blanket, burying his face in her neck to regulate his breathing.
Sheng Xia stared blankly at the ceiling, breathing heavily.
So heavy.
After a long while, their breathing steadied. Zhang Shu raised his hand to find her head, all fluffy and messy.
He remained buried in her neck, seemingly unwilling to move, only his palm occasionally stroking her head.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid…” he softly comforted.
Even though he wouldn’t be okay tonight.
After a while, he finally propped himself up to look down at her.
She saw his eyelids lift slightly, revealing bloodshot eyes. Sheng Xia froze—his eyes hadn’t been like this when he first entered the room…
His gaze roamed over her face, his arm encircling her head, fingers tracing over her eyes, eyebrows, forehead…
His lips pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Shall we sleep?”
Sheng Xia pulled the blanket over her eyes, nodding underneath: “Mm, mm!”
Even that single syllable sounded unrecognizably hoarse.
Zhang Shu rolled back onto his pillow, hand behind his head as he turned toward her.
Sheng Xia felt suffocated but wasn’t sure what the situation was above water, so she didn’t dare emerge easily.
Just as she was about to give in, a long, slender hand tugged at the blanket, exposing her nose. “Sleeping in a bathrobe will give you a rash. I promise not to touch you, take it off to sleep.”
Sheng Xia didn’t move.
She never slept naked, let alone with someone lying beside her.
Zhang Shu thought she was just being shy and added fuel to the fire: “It’s mostly off anyway.”
Sheng Xia felt her brain might explode!
Could he please shut up?
Sheng Xia, who had been slightly wavering, now felt rebellious and refused to move.
Suddenly she heard him laugh with a sigh. She couldn’t see his expression, but she knew he was laughing—mocking her!
How annoying!
Then the person who had just promised not to touch her pulled her into his arms again. Sheng Xia instinctively yelped “Ah—” as she was grabbed by the waist and turned to her side. The bathrobe was pulled away, his muscular arms effortlessly tossing it onto a chair before releasing her, letting her fall back into place.
Throughout this process, the blanket constantly shielded her front, but when she was turned to her side, her back and legs were completely exposed.
When he removed the bathrobe, did he see it?
Did he or didn’t he?
Ahhhh!
“Sleep.” This time he didn’t face her, lying properly on his back with his eyes closed.
But Sheng Xia, because of his earlier movements, was now lying half on her side.
The room fell into silence.
Sheng Xia closed her eyes, completely awake.
How could she possibly sleep?
Her mind was full of what had just happened, even from a third-person perspective, like watching a film replay.
She could even imagine the strong lines of his back.
Ahhh!
She’d never had such good spatial awareness when studying math!
The more she thought, the stranger she felt.
She was burning up!
He was lying beside her now, separated by several dozen centimeters, sharing one blanket. The middle of the blanket dipped down like a border, separating the air under the covers.
Otherwise, he would surely know how hot she was right now.
What about him? Was he hot too?
With this thought, her body moved faster than her mind, her foot carefully exploring his direction. But just as she crossed the “border,” her toes bumped into his leg.
Sheng Xia froze completely.
Sure enough, Zhang Shu turned his head, his hair making a rustling sound against the pillow that sounded like a death sentence to Sheng Xia’s ears.
“Do you not want to sleep?” His voice was still unrecognizably hoarse.
Sheng Xia shook her head vigorously, eyes still closed.
Another rustling sound indicated he had turned back.
Sheng Xia slowly opened her eyes, but he suddenly turned his head again, and she quickly shut them before their eyes could meet.
This time, even if thunderstruck or hail fell, she absolutely would not open her eyes again!
Zhang Shu let out an exasperated laugh through his nose.
Sheng Xia had no idea how she fell asleep, probably from exhaustion.
Zhang Shu heard her even breathing and finally resisted the urge to turn and look at her, afraid the slightest movement would wake her. So he could only lie there with open eyes, waiting for his heated and excited body to calm down.
Soft and tender.
That wasn’t quite accurate.
Soft yes, but not tender—the elastic modulus of deformation was probably greater than 1 megapascal.
Was this what a pure fat object was like?
Like holding a warm bag of water dumplings, unbreakable, unsquishable, with the knot at the opening occasionally brushing against his palm…
Forgetting everything was but a moment’s work.