HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 23: We Don't Be Fools

Chapter 23: We Don’t Be Fools

Sitting on the office balcony looking down, one could always see scenes that pleased the eye. Xiao Wu brewed a pot of tea for Yun Ye and carefully presented it to her master. She obediently moved a small stool to sit beside her master, blinking her large eyes as she looked down. After watching for a while without discovering anything interesting, she turned her head to look at her master, only to find him smiling very happily, as if he’d seen the most beautiful scene in the human world.

“Master, below there’s just a group of people walking back and forth. Why are you watching so happily?”

Yun Ye patted the armrest of his bamboo chair and said to Xiao Wu, “Haven’t you noticed that these people already constitute the most beautiful picture? Look, Xu Jingzong is painstakingly admonishing those two students who threw away their food. I know that he himself doesn’t actually eat much of the Academy’s meals—when he returns home, he gives them to his old servants to eat. But ah, he very much likes this feeling of placing himself on the moral high ground. Because this way, regardless of the students’ backgrounds, they must all lower their heads and accept instruction. Under the powerful pressure of universal values, even imperial clan members must submit. At such times, Xu Jingzong is incomparably strong. For this matter, even if he had to argue head-on with the Emperor, he wouldn’t have the slightest fear. Xiao Wu, do you understand the principle your master is explaining?”

Xiao Wu’s beautiful eyebrows knitted tightly as she earnestly pondered Yun Ye’s words. Xu Jingzong was a super slippery character—Master had said so long ago. Such a person spent his whole life avoiding standing in opposition to authority. Yet now Master was saying that just for the matter of not wasting grain, the mouse-hearted Xu Jingzong would have courage as vast as the heavens. Why?

Yun Ye said nothing more to Xiao Wu. Principles one comprehended oneself truly became one’s own. If he forcibly crammed them in, the principles would no longer be principles.

Standing on the small building, one could see much scenery. For instance, Yun Qi—this internally designated steward for Na Rimu—after one trip to the grasslands, had buried himself in the library researching the local customs and culture there. In his leisure time, he mixed with the servants Na Rimu had brought, and now he was already the absolute leader among that group. Huan Niang sometimes summoned him too, and the two would shut themselves in a room talking for an entire day. Clearly, Huan Niang also liked this cunning young fellow, Yun Qi.

As soon as Liu Renyuan arrived in Chang’an, he was dragged to the Academy. Changing into a blue scholar’s robe, he clutched a huge stack of books in his arms while Master Jin Zhu’s bamboo rod constantly struck his back. With a steamed bun in his mouth, he was herded back to the classroom to study like a donkey being driven. The treatment of poor students naturally wouldn’t be good.

Wu She was like a vandal. Having just finished eating, he stood under the shade of a tree holding a wooden plank, casually breaking it into pieces, performing his mighty eagle claw technique. This successfully attracted waves of astonished exclamations from onlooking students. Then he rather lewdly felt and pinched those younger children. When he didn’t encounter anyone suitable, he’d pat the child’s head and say he was naturally good material for studying literature and shouldn’t be wasted on martial arts. When he encountered someone with decent bone structure, he’d randomly issue them tokens. According to him, he wouldn’t rest until he recruited ten great vajras. The old slave had only now truly begun living with flavor.

Master Li Gang’s airs grew increasingly grand. Though his body was actually quite healthy and walking dozens of li in a day was nothing, he insisted on having Gongshu build him a comfortable four-wheeled cart. Always his direct disciples pushed the old man forward from behind. The old fellow sat in the cart with one hand holding a teapot, the other gesturing at heaven and earth, critiquing past and present. The students listening all trembled with excitement. This was now one of the old man’s few remaining pleasures.

Dozens of servants shouted work chants as they hoisted up the great fish’s skeleton, installing it on a prepared stone base. The bones were coated with a thick layer of tung oil and gleamed in the sunlight. The students had long lost interest in watching. Liu Renyuan had brought the bones back with him when he returned, and had even treated his Academy junior schoolmates to a meal of whale meat, explaining to them stories of the great sea. Very inspirational. Only after finishing his story, he’d been called into the office by his teacher Jin Zhu, and who knew how many strokes of the rod he’d received. When he came out, his hands were swollen like pig’s trotters, yet his face smiled happily.

Students weren’t willing to go to the place where the shade was thickest. The small elm trees planted in early years were now over a zhang tall. Solid wooden forks as thick as a man’s arm formed a solid wall. Even trying to hack through with a blade wouldn’t succeed quickly, much less considering that inside the tree wall were some strange plants—if the sap accidentally got on one’s body, it would make one’s whole body break out in bumps, itching enough to drive one mad. One could say that in the entire Academy, except for Li Tai who had a special fondness for this place, everyone else ran as far away as possible. Huo Zhu didn’t like plants but was very interested in the animals inside the tree wall. Only he didn’t dare enter alone and always needed the servants managing this place to accompany him before daring to go in.

Li Shi treated this place as his private domain and had even moved his office inside. Recently the paintings he’d produced were dark and eerie—Buddhas with eyes bigger than their noses, extremely ugly dharma protector monks, fierce and terrifying evil dragons, general portraits that looked more like demons than humans. If Li Er invited him to paint the general portraits for Lingyan Pavilion in the future, no one would dare enter that palace. Because Li Shi said he no longer focused on external appearance now. He now only painted essence—superficial external appearance was just fleeting clouds passing before the eyes. What was there to treasure about that?

He truly only focused on inner substance. Two months ago, he’d very substantially given Yun Ye a new cousin. Now this fellow couldn’t be seen at the Academy. Taking maternity leave—resting for three months, and by the looks of it, he’d need to rest another three months.

Master Li Gang always took a brief nap in the sun each day. No matter how fierce the sun, he would sleep for an hour in a small shelter. When Yun Ye came down from the office with Xiao Wu, the old gentleman was lying in his four-wheeled cart sleeping soundly. Dappled sunlight shone through the gaps in the bamboo shelter onto him, his face covered with sweat, his snoring like thunder.

Seeing Yun Ye, Hou Jie wanted to run. After running two steps, he stopped awkwardly, shuffled over to Yun Ye’s side, scratched the back of his head and said quietly, “Big Brother Ye Zi, why did you come to the Academy today?”

“Is it strange? The Academy practically belongs to my family. Why shouldn’t I be able to come?” Yun Ye rolled his eyes and asked in return.

Hou Jie rubbed his hands together, then wiped them across his face, as if throwing away his sense of shame along with them. He said in a hoarse voice, “You see, little brother just observed other students’ answer sheets a tiny bit, and Master Yuanzhang made me come build a rockery, and wouldn’t let anyone else help me. Little brother accepted it. Now the rockery is almost complete—one more day’s work and it’ll be done. Big Brother Yun, don’t tell my mother and my sister!”

If nothing else was learned at the Academy, at least the Academy’s traditional thick-facedness had been learned thoroughly. Having received punishment, he still didn’t want it spread around everywhere.

Yun Ye said disdainfully, “Too late. Your sister heard this news and is spreading word everywhere that she’ll flay my skin. I estimate she’ll arrive at the Academy in the next couple days to see you. Be careful.”

Hou Jie fell backward onto the ground and howled loudly, “Just kill me! Just kill me! Do you know how poisonous my sister’s mouth is? I’d rather build another rockery than have her come see me. Oh Heaven, strike me dead with lightning!”

Yun Ye squatted down and looked at the agonized Hou Jie, asking, “What is the Academy’s motto?”

“We don’t be fools!” Hou Jie answered very quickly. It seemed this phrase had already deeply penetrated people’s hearts. Very good.

“Then tell me, why isn’t our motto ‘study hard, improve daily’? That phrase was also quite good before. Why did the entire Academy vote to use this vulgar phrase as the motto?”

“Because no one likes being a fool.” Hou Jie couldn’t understand why Yun Ye was asking him these things. The urgent matter was getting his sister to not find him—that was the real business.

“Plagiarism, though wrong, isn’t serious enough to warrant making you do hard labor. Haven’t you thought about where things went wrong?”

“How would I know? Master Yuanzhang was extremely angry, gave me over ten strokes of the rod, and punished me by making me build a rockery. Now that you mention it, I also feel something’s off. When Ling Guobao plagiarized before, he didn’t have it this bad.”

Hearing Hou Jie say this, Yun Ye immediately became angry. The fan in his hand indiscriminately beat this fellow’s head in a flurry. What a pity—Hou Junji, a hero of his generation, how did he produce such a son?

“Stop! Explain things clearly before hitting me. Even if I’m to die, at least let me die understanding!” Hou Jie lost his temper. His bottom scraped the ground as he shuffled backward, both hands flailing wildly—this was what he looked like when flustered and exasperated.

Yun Ye stopped and let himself catch his breath. Xiao Wu squatted behind pounding her master’s back, hoping he wouldn’t become too angry.

“Boy, plagiarism isn’t a major offense at the Academy—over a dozen strokes of the rod and that’s the end of it. But you’re not unaware of the Academy’s motto—we don’t be fools. Yet you insisted on being a fool. If we don’t punish you, who do we punish?”

“How was I being a fool? My mother says I’m sharper than a monkey. Say anything else and I’ll accept it, but calling me a fool is insulting me. I’ll challenge you to a duel, right behind the rockery, now!” Hou Jie’s flames of anger were practically spouting from his fontanel.

“The person who let you copy was Ling Guobao, right? And you still say you’re not a fool. When has Ling Guobao ever passed an exam? You had several students of excellent character and learning sitting right beside you—why did you specifically have to copy Ling Guobao’s? Would copying his let you pass? Since it wouldn’t let you pass, why risk being caught to plagiarize?”

Yun Ye’s words immediately deflated Hou Jie’s anger. Holding his head, he said, “You’re right, it wasn’t appropriate. If I was going to copy, I should have copied Leng Yue’s. Hit more lightly—carrying stones on my back rubbed it raw.”

Yun Ye sat helplessly beside him and said weakly, “Copying Ling Guobao’s is bad enough, but why did you even copy the name? This time not only are you a fool, even your teacher became a fool. And you still say you’re sharper than a monkey?”

Hearing Yun Ye’s words, Xiao Wu immediately laughed until she couldn’t go on, leaning softly against Yun Ye’s back, her whole body trembling like leaves in the wind.

Hou Jie’s face flushed deep red. He roared once and grabbed Yun Ye by the collar, saying, “I’m a fool—I deserve to carry stones. But if you tell anyone else about this matter, I’ll sever our friendship and never speak to you again until death!”

Novel List

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Chapters