Xie Huai was at a loss for words.
Xia Xia’s contemplative gaze lingered on him, making him feel inexplicably awkward and irritated.
“You’re crazy. When did I ever say that?” He tried to cover up, “You just woke up and your head isn’t clear, is it? Little girls should spend more time reading and studying instead of having perverted thoughts about Brother Huai’s privates.”
Xia Xia threw her stuffed toy at him: “Wake up! It’s so small, what’s there to have perverted thoughts about?”
No man can stay calm when someone says he’s small, especially Xie Huai, who considers himself the manliest of men and the greatest of brothers. He was instantly enraged.
He raised the shabby rabbit plush, but before he could do anything, the girl lifted her face with an indifferent expression: “Getting angry? Going to hit me?”
She asked: “What, you want to hit me?”
Xie Huai indeed had that intention, but after Xia Xia called him out so bluntly, following through would seem ungrateful.
He raised his eyebrow disdainfully, brushed off the loose fur from the plush, and tossed it back into Xia Xia’s arms: “Would Brother Huai ever hit a woman?”
Xia Xia remained silent, slowly walking toward her room. She seemed to have come out just to anger Xie Huai—if she could anger him to death, that would be best; even half-dead would be worth it. She had gotten her wish. The once gentle and sweet girl had become so difficult, and Xie Huai was about to cough up blood from anger.
He took a sip of cold water to calm himself down when the girl suddenly turned her head.
“Xie Huai,” she said with certainty, “you like me, don’t you?”
She was just testing him, but when Xie Huai suddenly heard her say this, he lost control and spat out his water, which ran down his chin and soaked the collar of his T-shirt.
As he frantically wiped the water off himself with tissues, he heard Xia Xia continue:
“You like me, you like me so much it’s killing you, right?”
Xie Huai maintained a facade of calmness, wiped the water from his lips, and said coolly: “If you don’t shut up and go back to your room, be careful that Brother Huai really will end you.”
“Xie Huai is so weird,” Xia Xia said.
Another weekend, with nothing to do, Xia Xia lay on the couch having a long phone chat with Zhu Ziyu.
The afternoon sunlight was warm, casting a faint patch of light on the girl’s thin back.
“It’s weird enough that he secretly used my cup to drink water, but when I asked if he liked me, his reaction was also strange.”
Zhu Ziyu strongly agreed: “What’s strange about that? He likes you. At school, he ignored everyone else but was only nice to you. Even after you fell out with him, he got into fights and ended up in detention for you. Even when you’ve been bullying him relentlessly, he’s never gotten angry with you. Have you ever seen Xie Huai be this tolerant of anyone else? If this isn’t love, what is it?”
“But he says he doesn’t like me,” Xia Xia rolled around on the couch, wailing loudly, “What exactly is going on in that dog-man Xie Huai’s mind?”
She couldn’t help but pull out a strand of her hair, counting one by one: “Xie Huai likes me, Xie Huai doesn’t like me, Xie Huai likes me…”
“Could he have some difficulty he can’t talk about?” Zhu Ziyu asked, “You said he got so angry when you said he was small, could there be a problem with his… you know?”
Xia Xia blushed: “What are you thinking? There’s nothing wrong with Xie Huai… I have to go, he’ll be back soon, I need to make dinner.”
Since living together, Xia Xia had taken it upon herself to handle the cooking. Xie Huai messaged saying he’d be home early today, so she prepared an especially lavish meal—braised perch, shrimp with Chinese celtuce, tomato beef soup, a bowl of eight-treasure rice for each of them, and a plate of washed fruit in the corner of the table.
Zhu Ziyu gave a meaningful laugh and hung up.
In the evening, Xie Huai returned and changed into slippers at the door.
He caught the aroma and sniffed, his eyes darting toward the dining table.
Seeing him peering around, Xia Xia asked: “Dinner’s ready, want to come to take a look?”
Xie Huai turned his face away, putting on an indifferent expression: “It’s just dinner, isn’t it? It’s all the same every time, what’s there to look at?”
As Xia Xia went to the kitchen to wash the wok, the person who had just acted so aloof quickly kicked off his shoes and ran to the dining table.
Xie Huai looked at the array of dishes and secretly popped a piece of shrimp into his mouth. When the water sounds from the kitchen stopped, he hurriedly wiped the oil from the corner of his mouth and pretentiously sat on the couch to turn on the TV.
Xia Xia: “Brother Huai, dinner’s ready.”
“Don’t want to eat,” Xie Huai barely lifted his eyelids, appearing lazy, “Tired, no appetite.”
Xia Xia pushed him, half-coaxing, half-forcing: “You must eat. I didn’t even talk to Ziyu on the phone because I was cooking. You’re disrespecting my labor.”
Xie Huai narrowed his eyes: “Been talking to Zhu Ziyu about me again?”
Xia Xia felt guilty and quickly said: “Of course not.”
Xie Huai appeared reluctant as she pushed him to the dining table, but in truth, he had been starving and eager to eat.
Xia Xia scooped rice for Xie Huai, while he picked out dishes for her. Although they bickered every day, their synchronized behavior during meals made them look like a long-time couple.
While eating, Xia Xia suddenly remembered what Zhu Ziyu had said in the afternoon.
She bit her chopsticks and hesitantly made up a story: “Brother Huai, I watched a relationship counseling show today. A wife wanted a divorce because her husband wasn’t very good in… that aspect…”
Xie Huai raised an eyebrow: “Which aspect?”
Xia Xia lowered her voice mysteriously: “You know, their married life wasn’t harmonious.”
“In my opinion, even if the husband has problems, it’s not a reason for divorce. It just means there isn’t enough love,” Xia Xia observed Xie Huai, implying something, “Like me, if I like someone, I wouldn’t care about these things at all. If he can’t perform, then he can’t perform. At worst, I’ll take him to Shuguang Men’s Hospital.”
Xie Huai: “…”
He understood what Xia Xia was trying to say, his face darkened, and he tapped his bowl with his chopsticks: “Food isn’t enough to shut you up, is it?”
Just as Xia Xia was about to explain, her phone rang.
She answered, and Cai Yun’s resentful voice came through: “Xia Xia, I underestimated you.”
Xia Xia remained composed, switched the phone to speaker, and placed it on the table, continuing to eat while asking: “What’s up?”
“You scored 650 on the CET-4, why did you pretend your earphones were dead that day?”
Xia Xia laughed: “You’re surprised by a 650 on the CET-4? My English has always been good, didn’t Zhu Ziyu tell you? If I hadn’t been in a bad mood that day, I could have shown you a 700.”
“Oh!” She pretended to suddenly realize, “You mean to ask how I could score 650 when my earphones had no battery?”
She chewed on some shrimp and said slowly: “Well, even though some despicable person secretly took my battery before the exam, Xie Huai was sitting behind me during the test, and he gave me his earphones…”
Cai Yun furiously: “You played me?”
“I didn’t play you,” Xia Xia said innocently, “That day I was just crying at my desk, I didn’t say anything. Don’t I even have the right to cry when I’m in a bad mood? The one who lied to you was Zhu Ziyu, right? She’s the one who said my earphones were dead. You should be scolding her, why call me?”
“Oh!” She had another revelation, “Seeing you rush to confront me like this, could it be that the exchange program results are out?”
Xia Xia opened the academic affairs system and found that the final exam results were out.
Her major courses and CET-4 scores were absolutely first in the college, while second-place Cai Yun was 0.3 points lower in GPA, making any comparison meaningless.
“Such a shame,” Xia Xia said, “After hearing I bombed the CET-4, you seemed to completely write me off. You didn’t even study seriously for the finals. If you had tried a little harder then and memorized a few more pages, you might have surpassed me.”
“Xia Xia, I won’t forget this,” Cai Yun’s voice was cold, with a vengeful edge, “Don’t think going on exchange is such a big deal. When you come back from Hai University, I’ll have plenty of chances to deal with you.”
“Who announces their plans to deal with someone so openly? Are you really stupid or just pretending?” Xia Xia first appeared puzzled, then couldn’t help but act cute, “Well, good luck with that! I’ll be waiting.”
She hung up the phone, and Xie Huai put down his chopsticks: “Is it settled?”
Xia Xia: “It’s settled.”
Xie Huai’s bowl was empty, and Xia Xia asked: “Want another bowl?”
“No more.” He stood up and pushed his chair back, “I’m going to my room to rest for a while. Just leave the bowls and chopsticks in the sink after you finish, I’ll come out and wash them tonight.”
After Xie Huai left, Xia Xia had no appetite. She played with her phone for a while before going to lie down in her room.
The night sky was filled with brilliant stars. Xia Xia leaned against her bedroom window watching them, feeling inexplicably troubled.
“What a stupid exchange program,” she said sadly. “I don’t want to go.”
“But what difference would it make if I stay?” Xia Xia felt conflicted. “Even if I stay, Xie Huai won’t be with me.”
She heard the sound of a door closing and footsteps outside—Xie Huai hadn’t fallen asleep and had gone out to wash the dishes after just a few minutes in his room.
Xia Xia sat at the bay window for a while longer, deciding to talk with Xie Huai.
She opened the door to find Xie Huai kneeling in the middle of the living room, facing the dining table with his hands clasped together, muttering something incomprehensible.
Xia Xia: “Brother Huai, what are you doing?”
Xie Huai hushed her: “Keep it down, I’m praying to the God of Wealth.”
Following his gaze, Xia Xia saw his phone propped up at the edge of the dining table, displaying a picture of the God of Wealth downloaded from Baidu.
Xia Xia was both amused and exasperated: “How is this supposed to be the God of Wealth?”
Xie Huai said seriously: “Be quiet, don’t blaspheme.”
He grabbed a cushion from the sofa and placed it beside him: “Want to pray together?”
Though Xia Xia thought it was silly, she figured being silly with Xie Huai could be fun. She knelt beside him: “How do we pray?”
Xie Huai said devoutly: “Oh Great God of Wealth, please bless my business deal next week to succeed and bring great profit. If this wish is granted, your faithful servant Xie Huai will offer incense in gratitude.”
Xia Xia imitated him perfectly: “Oh Great God of Wealth, please bless my Brother Huai’s business deal next week to succeed and bring great profit. If this wish is granted, your faithful servant Xia Xia will offer incense in gratitude.”
Xie Huai said: “Now kowtow.”
Xia Xia: “…We have to kowtow too?”
Xie Huai said seriously: “Without kowtowing, the prayer lacks sincerity.”
So Xia Xia followed his lead again. This was Xie Huai’s first time doing this too, so he wasn’t very skilled.
Imitating what he’d seen in TV dramas, he called out: “First bow—”
Xia Xia completely forgot about wanting to talk with him and bowed her head toward the phone.
“Your posture is wrong,” Xie Huai demonstrated. “Cross your hands, forehead touching the back of your hands, and your bottom, raise your bottom a bit higher, even higher…”
“Like this?” Xia Xia asked.
Xie Huai thought for a moment and said: “Still not high enough.”
Xia Xia thought raising it any higher would be too strange. She stopped moving and stared at Xie Huai with her round black eyes: “Even higher?”
Xie Huai also realized the position was somewhat suggestive and turned away: “Never mind, this is fine.”
Xie Huai said: “Second bow—”
Xia Xia knelt and bowed again, thinking Xie Huai’s kowtowing words sounded odd, though she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why.
Xie Huai: “Third bow.”
That strange feeling grew stronger, and Xia Xia’s mind was full of questions.
The security door wasn’t closed, and their landlord came by with a plate of dumplings for them.
He saw Xie Huai and Xia Xia with serious expressions, performing three bows and nine kowtows at a dining table.
The landlord’s expression was priceless as he couldn’t help but ask: “Are you two… performing a wedding ceremony?”
Xia Xia: “…”
For almost half a month, Xia Xia barely saw Xie Huai. He seemed to be negotiating an important business deal, staying busy from dawn to dusk and often not returning home at night. On the rare occasions he did come back, he reeked of alcohol, sleeping briefly before leaving again in the early morning.
Summer vacation was about to end. Hai University had sent Xia Xia an email about registration, and she had finished her tutoring jobs. She’d been shopping at the mall these past few days.
Night.
Xia Xia was alone in her room packing her luggage. It was past eleven, and Xie Huai probably wouldn’t be coming home tonight.
Her train ticket lay on the bed.
Tomorrow morning at seven, South City to Hai City.
Xia Xia finished packing her suitcase. Though she needed to wake up early for the train tomorrow, she didn’t want to sleep, thinking Xie Huai might still come back if she waited a bit longer.
She curled up on the living room sofa watching TV, took out her phone, and found Xie Huai’s number, hesitating whether to call him. Before she could decide, Xie Huai returned.
He had drunk a lot tonight—Xia Xia could smell the alcohol from across the living room.
Alcohol never showed on Xie Huai’s face; no matter how much he drank, his face never reddened. He leaned against the wall, his steps unsteady.
Xia Xia ran over to support him. Xie Huai hugged her, his gaze unfocused: “Xia Xia?”
He clung to her, his chin resting on her shoulder, murmuring her name: “Xia Xia…”
Xu Dalong stood at the door: “This troublemaker, drunk but insisted on coming home instead of sleeping, making me drive him back in the middle of the night.”
“Why did he drink so much?” Xia Xia asked.
Xu Dalong: “We closed a big deal today. My stomach was acting up so I couldn’t drink, and Xie Huai drank all my shares.”
Xia Xia frowned: “Xie Huai is here to help with your business, not to drink for you. Next time find someone else to take the drinks, don’t ask Xie Huai.”
Her words weren’t polite, and her expression was cold, but fortunately, Xu Dalong was good-natured and agreed with an embarrassed smile: “I’ll leave him with you then. I should get going.”
Xia Xia helped Xie Huai to his bed, where he lay motionless with closed eyes, appearing to have fallen asleep.
She loosened his tie and removed his shirt, placing them aside. She paused when her hands reached his belt, but after a moment, removed his suit pants without blushing and changed him into soft pajama pants.
She wiped his face with a warm washcloth, talking to herself: “A young man drinking so much, what if someone takes advantage of you when you’re out?”
Xia Xia carefully examined Xie Huai’s face—his eyes were tightly closed, his eyelashes long, his skin too delicate for a man.
She put down the washcloth and pinched his cheek, planning to take advantage of his drunken state.
Xie Huai groaned uncomfortably at her pinch, his brows furrowing, but he didn’t wake up.
Growing bolder, Xia Xia leaned in and kissed his cheek. His face was hot, carrying the rich sweetness of wine, as if the alcohol had permeated every breath and drop of blood.
Xia Xia couldn’t help but kiss him several times. As her kisses reached his nose tip, her gaze fell to his thin lips.
Xie Huai had said he’d never kissed his previous girlfriends. Xia Xia stared at him for a long time before suddenly pressing a kiss to his lips.
“Who knows who they’ll belong to later, I might as well claim them first.”
She would be gone for so long, and when she returned, Xie Huai might even have a girlfriend. Better to steal his first kiss while he was unconscious—he wouldn’t know anyway.
Xia Xia thought mischievously.
Their breath mingled as their lips touched briefly before parting.
Just as Xia Xia was about to get up, the drunk Xie Huai suddenly opened his eyes. His gaze held a hint of confusion, but also some clarity.
Oh no.
Xia Xia’s eyes widened as she thought, could he be sobering up?
As she struggled to get up, Xie Huai’s arm wrapped around her, pulling her back down.
Xie Huai had just been changed by Xia Xia and was wearing only pajama pants, his entire body hot as a furnace.
He held her face, his gaze steady: “Stealing kisses from me?”
Xia Xia’s mouth was squeezed into a bird-like shape by his grip, making her words unclear. Afraid of being hit, she blinked nervously: “No! Not! I didn’t kiss you, that was your imagination!”
Xie Huai released his grip and lowered his head to kiss her lips.
Xia Xia’s mind exploded instantly, feeling as if she were floating on clouds.
She stammered: “Brother Huai, mmph—”
Xie Huai didn’t know how to kiss, his movements rough and inexperienced as he sucked on her lips, making them red and sore.
She pushed Xie Huai away: “Do you know who I am?”
Xie Huai didn’t speak, just stared at her quietly, the clarity in his eyes fading again.
Xia Xia said coldly: “Are you just drunk-kissing random people or mistaking me for someone else?”
After a long while, he said hoarsely: “Xia Xia.”
—He knew who she was, retaining some unknown amount of consciousness.
“You must be drunk,” Xia Xia confirmed he hadn’t mistaken her identity and said breathlessly, “You’re the one who wanted to kiss me, don’t blame me.”
She wrapped her arms around Xie Huai’s neck, pressing his head closer by his hair, lifting her lips to meet his.
She was filled with the sweet wine taste from his mouth, her own breathtaking on the scent of alcohol.
Control was almost instantly seized by Xie Huai. He was forceful and dominating, sealing off her every breath as if to deprive her of life. Xia Xia fell into a strange numbness, her mind exploding like fireworks against the sky, completely muddled and unaware of her thoughts or actions.
Xie Huai released her mouth. The girl beneath him breathed raggedly, her chest rising and falling from lack of oxygen, her eyes covered with a transparent mist.
Xie Huai held Xia Xia, his chin against her cheek, his hand gently stroking her hair.
Xia Xia unconsciously wrapped her arms around Xie Huai’s neck, somehow feeling nervous.
Xie Huai didn’t do anything more. He just buried his head in her neck, his breath falling on her neck.
He mumbled, seemingly speaking to both Xia Xia and himself:
“I’ve made money, don’t leave me.”