Noble families placed great importance on appearances. Households foolish enough to have illegitimate sons before the proper wife had even crossed the threshold were rare, yet it was commonplace for a man to keep three or five attendants by his side. By the standards of this era, having only one chamber maid before marriage was already considered the mark of a decent man — and yet it was precisely because he was a decent man that he might, without realizing it, begin to want more.

Hua Zhi understood Hua Qin’s distress. With the soul of a modern person, she did not know how to advise her cousin to either accept the situation or resist it. To accept was to swallow her own grievances; to resist — how could one person resist an entire way of the world? Had she herself not, when her betrothal to Shen Qi was arranged, gone along with the times and planned to be a virtuous first wife?

But that was on the premise that she held no romantic feelings for Shen Qi. If Yanxi were to take a concubine in the future… it would most likely end with the two of them parting ways entirely.

Thinking of that man, Hua Zhi’s thoughts began to drift. Was he like other men — believing that taking concubines was simply a natural part of life?

“Elder Sister, what should I do?”

The murmured words beside her ear pulled her back. Hua Zhi was silent for a moment before speaking. “Ask your husband what he thinks. If he truly cares for you and holds you dear in his heart, he wouldn’t have the mind for other things while you’re suffering through your pregnancy. If he himself harbors such intentions, stopping him today won’t stop him tomorrow — and in that case, he isn’t worth making yourself look bad over. Of course, if you wish to be a virtuous first wife, I will support you in that as well.”

Hua Qin sat up straight and stared blankly at her elder sister. She had expected her to be angry, to speak up for her in indignation…

Hua Zhi smiled gently. “There are many things in this world within human reach, but there is also that small portion that even the most capable person cannot achieve — such as making two people fall in love, or making one person absolutely loyal to another. The only thing we can control is our own heart. Another person’s heart is yours when they willingly give it, and when the day comes that they wish to take it back, you cannot hold it in place. But there is one thing we can always do.”

She smoothed back her bewildered cousin’s hair and said warmly, “We can love ourselves a little more. Only when we have an abundance of love for ourselves do we have the capacity to love others — and the strength to withstand being hurt.”

Light returned to Hua Qin’s eyes. “If I love myself, then I don’t want to take a concubine for him.”

“Then don’t.”

“But my mother-in-law will say I am jealous, that I am not virtuous. My standing in the Cai household will become difficult.”

“And what of it? Which woman dares say she is not jealous? Which woman does not wish to have her husband’s love exclusively? If you find yourself in a difficult position for this reason, it only goes to show that your husband has not placed you in his heart. If you truly held enough weight in his heart, he would be the one to say it is his decision not to take a concubine — how would the Cai family’s blame fall on you? If he lets you bear all of this alone, then it means he wishes to take a concubine. And if a man wants to keep beautiful women by his side, can you stop him? Since it would be only a matter of time, what is the use of holding him back? You might as well grant him his wish — and set yourself free.”

Hua Qin stared blankly at her elder sister, finding the words both utterly reasonable and yet somehow too clever by half. She lowered her head and touched her belly, which had not yet begun to show. “I am with child now…”

“Yes. You are with child.”

“With a child, my position cannot be shaken by anyone.”

“…Yes.”

“I could have several more children…” Tears fell from Hua Qin’s eyes in a steady stream. She raised her head. “But children are children. They are not my husband.”

Hua Zhi let out a quiet sigh, stepped forward, and drew her into an embrace, gently patting her back without saying anything more. She had already overstepped somewhat. She could not go further and interfere with Hua Qin’s decisions — this was her life, and whatever choice she made needed to come from herself alone, or there would be regret.

The tears soaked through her garment, and the warm, damp weight at her shoulder was not easy to bear. Hua Zhi could not allow a woman with child to grieve too deeply, so she raised a topic Hua Qin could not help but turn her mind to. “The midwife who was called for Fourth Aunt’s delivery was very capable. I will send someone to request her — it would be best if she could be with you from now on, and if that is not possible, a time should still be arranged. As for a wet nurse, I will have someone look into it as well. What of the woman in your husband’s quarters — is she well-behaved?”

Hua Qin’s crying gradually quieted, though her voice remained choked. “She has a few little ambitions, but I don’t bother giving her a second thought.”

“And the others in the Cai household?”

“There are always a few of one kind or another.”

Hua Zhi nodded, unsurprised. “Have Qing Xiang go back and ask your mother or grandmother for two trusted matrons. You are carrying now, and no amount of caution is too much. The Cai family cannot say anything against that. If your body has any small ailments, try to avoid medicine where possible — it is harmful to the child. I will ask Shao Yao to come by to check on you every so often.”

Hua Qin nodded repeatedly. She had never met Shao Yao, but the name had long since spread throughout the Hua household — they all knew she was a female physician of exceptional skill.

Hua Zhi went on to give careful and detailed instructions on several more matters. The anxiety that had settled in Hua Qin’s heart gradually dissolved under her elder sister’s series of arrangements, and her emotions steadied.

The hour was already late, yet the rain showed no sign of letting up. Hua Zhi could not linger any longer and rose to her feet. “If anything comes up, send someone to find me at once. Do not panic. For the sake of the child, you must keep your heart open and at ease — only if you are well will the child be well.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“I’ll head back now. Lie down — no need to see me out.”

Hua Qin, who had just been about to throw back the covers and get out of bed, obediently tucked her feet back in. “Take care, Elder Sister.”

Hua Zhi gave a small nod and walked toward the door. Nian Qiu opened it; Qing Xiang was standing guard outside, while the others had all withdrawn to a respectful distance.

“Elder Sister.”

Hua Zhi looked back.

“I will think carefully on what you said.” Hua Qin managed a strained smile. “I know Elder Sister would never lead me astray. What you have said must be sound.”

Something softened inside Hua Zhi. “So long as you can find your peace, that is enough.”

After taking her leave of Madam Cai, she had not gone far when Cai Zhiming came hurrying after her. Hua Zhi was not surprised. Though she had only met him a handful of times, she could see he was not the sort of man who buried himself entirely in books.

“The hour is still early — there is no need for you to see me off, brother-in-law.”

Cai Zhiming smiled wryly. “Elder Sister knows perfectly well why I’ve come.”

“I don’t. Brother-in-law may as well say it plainly.” Hua Zhi’s smile was light, her eyes carrying an air of perfect serenity, as though she truly had not the faintest idea — nor the slightest concern.

What could Cai Zhiming do? If it had been his mother-in-law who came today, he would not have felt this nervous. But it was the eldest young lady. Even his words came out more carefully than usual — not that he was afraid of her, exactly, but he knew she was not someone who could be easily fooled. If he were to offer an excuse, it would need to be a convincing one. His mother-in-law could not do anything to him, but the eldest young lady was another matter entirely.

“A’Qin… does not trust me.” Once those words were out, the rest came more easily. “I remember which days of the month are difficult for her, so when she said she was unwell those few days, I had already guessed something. I just could not be certain.”

“Why does she not trust you?”

Cai Zhiming was quiet for a moment. “She is overthinking things…”

“It is because you have not given her a sense of security,” Hua Zhi cut him off, “that she instinctively does not trust you. You do not need to come to me to find out what Qin-er said. I will not meddle in the affairs between the two of you as husband and wife. But I do have one thing to remind you of, brother-in-law — a lifetime of tenderness and affection between a husband and wife is still a lifetime. A lifetime of courteous distance is also a lifetime. The choice of how to live that lifetime rests in your hands.”

Hua Zhi gave a slight bow. “Farewell.”