The two stood outside the tavern, staring at each other.

“Stay where?” Luan Nian asked her. “Where do you want me to stay?”

“So you’re inviting me to sleep with you, is that it?” Luan Nian’s mouth twitched. “Don’t drink alcohol today. You’re restless when you drink and sleep.”

He removed Shang Zhitao’s hand from the doorknob and added, “Oh right, that was years ago. Do you still bite people when you drink now?”

Their coats brushed against each other, yet Shang Zhitao could sense the warmth of his skin. She stepped back.

“You’re so impressive now, do you bite people even without drinking?”

Luan Nian spat out the old blood that had been sprayed by Shang Zhitao’s machine-gun-like mouth these past few times, feeling refreshed. He opened the door and walked in.

Da Zhai was surprised to see him, but he smiled and said, “Hello, could I have another plate of those peanuts from last time?”

Even the fiercest won’t strike a smiling face.

Da Zhai turned and brought him the peanuts.

Since Shang Zhitao couldn’t drink alcohol while taking medicine, she had Fu Dong accompany her.

Chen Kuannian asked her, “Won’t you have a drink?”

“I’m taking Chinese medicine. I can’t drink with you today.”

Da Zhai brought over dishes. Luan Nian stood up to receive them. She turned her hand slightly, gave Luan Nian a look, and placed the dishes in his hands.

Chen Kuannian glanced at Luan Nian, who was volunteering to serve dishes, his face thick enough. Then he asked him, “Won’t you have a drink?”

“I’m not drinking. I have something tonight.” Luan Nian answered, his eyes falling on Shang Zhitao’s cheeks, flushed from the hot and cold transaction, like a New Year painting doll, quite amusing.

“What do you have to do?” Chen Kuannian asked him.

“Something important.”

Let’s see who’ll be the coward tonight.

Shang Zhitao wouldn’t look at him. Chen Kuannian, observing their behavior, found it particularly entertaining. With the look of someone watching a good show, he asked Luan Nian, “Last time you wanted to introduce us to that girlfriend, when will you arrange it?”

“Anytime.”

Shang Zhitao took a sip of warm water and gave him a cool glance.

When the drinking session finally ended, Shang Zhitao said goodbye to Da Zhai and left the tavern. Chen Kuannian asked Luan Nian, “Going for round two?”

“No, as I said, I have something to do.”

“Then I’ll wait for you at the hotel.”

“Mm.”

Fu Dong, being perceptive, left, leaving only Shang Zhitao and Luan Nian standing there.

“How are we going?” Luan Nian asked her.

“Nearby.” Shang Zhitao turned and walked away.

Luan Nian followed behind her, keeping a distance of one meter between them. Shang Zhitao heard the crunching sound of Luan Nian’s footsteps on the snow behind her, seeping into her ears, ticklish. She couldn’t help but shiver.

Luan Nian walked up beside her and asked, “Is Luke still alive?”

“It’s only a few years old. Why wouldn’t it be alive?”

“Is it with you?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you taking medicine?”

“I have a hormonal imbalance.”

Neither spoke again as they walked to her building. Shang Zhitao’s residential community was nice—a new development with a good location, nice landscaping, water features, gardens, and a large parking lot. Luan Nian accompanied her to the entrance. Shang Zhitao took out her access card to open the door, leaning against it to prevent it from closing. “Coming up?”

Luan Nian shook his head and said, “No.”

“Whoever backs out is a coward.”

“I just don’t want to sleep with you. Bring Luke down.”

“If you don’t want to sleep with me, why do you keep doing this, with money and people?”

Luan Nian looked at her and suddenly smiled. “Nothing, I’m just bored. Bring Luke down.”

“No,” Shang Zhitao refused. “I won’t let you see Luke.” Luke would be heartbroken to see you. If you leave, he’ll be sad for a long time.

“Then go up. I’ll go back to the hotel.”

“Luan Nian.”

Shang Zhitao called after him. “Don’t come anymore, and don’t introduce business to me either. I’m serious. We’ve been entangled for so many years, and I’m really tired. I just want to live my little life in peace, keep my home and life in good order, and do things I enjoy. I don’t have any other thoughts.”

“Finished?” Luan Nian asked her.

“Finished.”

“Mm. Then it’s my turn to say a few words?”

“Go ahead.”

“Back then, I told you we needed to talk, and you agreed. When I came back from America, you had disappeared. None of that matters now. That snowy day, when you left my home, you made Luke choose between you and me.” Luan Nian choked up, and after a while said, “That feeling was just like a fucking divorce!”

“Even in a divorce, you’d still negotiate terms! But you! You just left without a word!”

Luan Nian turned away. His eyes were hot. Every sleepless night after Shang Zhitao left, he felt unworthy of love. He replayed everything that had happened between them over and over—everything had been moving in a good direction, but then it all came to an abrupt halt!

“You think you’re the only one who put your heart into those six years! What about my heart! Haven’t I fucking tried hard too!”

“I just want to see Luke now! It spent half its time with me since I brought it home! I cooked for it! Walked it! Took it hiking! Why can’t I see it now?!”

“Because Luke is my dog!”

“But your dog is called Luke! Translated from my English name! Your dog was trained by me! It gets along best with me!”

Neither spoke, just looking at each other. Like a contest, there had to be a winner and a loser.

Not only was Luan Nian hung up on those bags, but so was Shang Zhitao. She had sold those bags and felt she hadn’t handled them well. She didn’t dare touch that money and didn’t want to, fearing her conscience would hurt if she did. She also felt sorry for Luke. Dogs can’t speak, but their sadness is real.

“You want to see Luke, right?”

Luan Nian pressed his lips together without speaking. That meant he wanted to see it. Shang Zhitao understood.

Shang Zhitao went upstairs and brought Luke down. It was already late. Luke had just reached the hallway when he smelled a familiar scent. It whined excitedly, jumping up to make Shang Zhitao open the door. Shang Zhitao stood there for a long time, telling Luke, “You can see him, but he won’t stay with you forever. If you get sad, please only be sad for one day, okay?”

“Woof!” It seemed to say okay, or maybe it hadn’t understood anything.

Shang Zhitao opened the door.

Luan Nian saw a big white ball running toward him, then lunging onto him. He lost his balance and fell backward onto the ground. Luke barked and licked his face, jumping all over him. Luan Nian coughed as it stepped on him, one arm shielding his eyes, the other tightly hugging Luke, and he smiled.

Shang Zhitao stood to the side, remembering the night Luan Nian mentioned, when she asked Luke if he wanted to go with her, and Luke was torn. Dogs are perceptive; if you truly care for them, they know everything.

Luan Nian finally stood up, his coat and pants covered in snow. Luke was still jumping up at him. He caught it and lifted it into his arms.

“Why have you lost weight? Doesn’t she let you eat meat?”

Luke whimpered once, seeming quite aggrieved.

“It’s very healthy now,” Shang Zhitao said. “Put it down. It needs to pee.”

Hearing this, Luan Nian put Luke down. Shang Zhitao crouched to attach the leash, walking it in the late night. Luan Nian followed beside her, silent.

They walked for nearly half an hour. The weather was too cold, and Shang Zhitao couldn’t stand it anymore. She was an Ice City girl, but now she was especially afraid of the cold. When the weather got a bit colder, she had to wear many layers. The late nights of these past years had weakened her.

Her teeth chattering, she said to him, “I’m going back. You’re right, I have no right to keep you from seeing Luke. Luke was indeed raised by you, too. If you want to see it in the future, just come, and I’ll bring Luke downstairs to play with you.”

“Go up then.”

“Okay.”

Shang Zhitao took Luke upstairs, washed its paws, wiped the snow off its body, and went to the window to see Luan Nian still standing there, lost in thought. She unblocked him from her blacklist and called him.

Luan Nian answered.

“It’s cold, go back,” Shang Zhitao said.

“Mm.”

“And Luan Nian, I have a few more words.”

“Say it.”

“Don’t randomly transfer money to me anymore, don’t deliberately visit my parents, and you don’t need to introduce business to me. I’m serious, I don’t like your money. When you transfer money to me, it feels like when you gave me those bags back then, making me very, very uncomfortable. I don’t like it. If we’re destined to meet, maybe we’ll see each other sometime. If we’re not destined, ending here is fine too. Of course, you’re always welcome to come see Luke.”

“Okay.”

Starting a business these past years hasn’t been easy, but Shang Zhitao was very happy that every penny she spent was earned through her hard work. She felt that spending money this way made her character independent and noble.

She hung up the phone and saw Luan Nian standing there for a few more seconds before turning and leaving. From upstairs, she could see a trail of footprints following him until they disappeared below her building. She thought, let go of what needs to be let go, let the past be the past, let new beginnings begin. Luke sat beside her, also watching Luan Nian leave.

Luke was now a middle-aged dog. Large dogs have shorter lifespans; in another five or six years, Luke would be gone too. Shang Zhitao had regretted raising Luke. Before having a dog, she thought dogs were cute and companionable. After raising one, she discovered it was like having a child. She worried about it every day, cared for it, feared it would get sick, and dreaded its death.

Luan Nian took an early flight the next morning.

He agreed with Shang Zhitao. They should both make peace with the past, and also make peace with themselves.

Shang Zhitao showed Chen Kuannian venues for two days, and Chen Kuannian complained about Luan Nian’s departure without saying goodbye for two days. Chen Kuannian was talkative and a bit mischievous. During a traffic jam, he asked Shang Zhitao, “What do you think of Luan Nian as a person?”

“Tell the truth! Don’t be diplomatic,” Chen Kuannian told her.

“You all know about us, right?” Shang Zhitao asked him.

“We’ve known for a long time.”

“Then how do you see me? May I ask? A female student just out of college, seducing her male boss for work opportunities and economic compensation.”

“We…” Chen Kuannian smiled. “We all think Luan Nian got what he deserved. We know our friends. If he looked down on you, he definitely wouldn’t have stayed with you for so long. He’s capable at work, but his mouth is truly terrible. Hard-mouthed, foul-mouthed, bad personality, suitable for being alone all his life.”

Shang Zhitao burst out laughing. “He’s not. He’s a good person, just bad with words. Back when I was working at Lingmei, he taught me a lot.”

“What else?”

“The rest is all in the past.”

Chen Kuannian secretly told Tan Mian, “Luan Nian is doomed. The girl said it’s all in the past. Is she playing hard to get?”

“Doesn’t seem like it. Based on my understanding of women, it’s true. If Lord Luan doesn’t lower his stance, this wife will fly away.”

“We’ll talk when we get back.”

After finalizing the venue, Chen Kuannian promptly signed the contract. Then he called Luan Nian: “Brother, in this life I value loyalty. I’ve done everything I could, and I don’t know how else to help you. Your wife—no, your ex-girlfriend is good.” Then he hung up.

He didn’t even give Luan Nian a chance to speak.

Good or not, Luan Nian knew.

After returning to Beijing, he went shopping once and bought two down jackets suitable for extremely cold weather—one mid-length and one long—totaling over twenty thousand yuan. Then he asked Fu Dong for an address. Fu Dong didn’t ask much and simply gave Shang Zhitao’s address. Luan Nian sent the jackets to Shang Zhitao without even signing his name.

Shang Zhitao knew they were from him and wanted to return them.

She received his message: “A small token. Wear them to walk Luke longer.”

A few days later, she received dog treats and toys for Luke from Luan Nian.

Shang Zhitao went home for dinner, and Da Zhai brought up blind dates again. Shang Zhitao put down her chopsticks and looked at Da Zhai seriously: “Mom, is it only when I’m married that you’ll think I’m doing well?”

“No,” Da Zhai shook her head. “I just think that when you’re old, you’ll have someone to take care of you.”

“But I don’t like any of these blind date candidates.” Shang Zhitao held Da Zhai’s hand. “Mom, I don’t want to go on blind dates anymore. Every time I sit there, with a clear price tag, like a product for sale. Today this one says that a woman in her thirties in Ice City who isn’t married is an old maid; tomorrow that one says he doesn’t like my job because I frequently enter and exit hotels and have to socialize; and some say nothing but finally ask if I’ll accept living with his mother after marriage, and if not, we can only live at my place.”

“I don’t think my life should be like this. I might not get married. Or I might, but that’s all fate. I want to meet someone normally, get to know them slowly, stay together if it works, part ways if it doesn’t. Is that okay with you?”

This made Da Zhai quite sad. She nodded, “Okay. It’s fine if you don’t get married. If you don’t get married, just save more money.”

“Good.”

The 2020 Spring Festival wasn’t easy. Everyone was confined at home, staring at each other. On New Year’s Eve, it was eerily quiet outside, as if everyone had forgotten about the holiday. Luan Nian didn’t go to America that year. Dr. Liang and Luan’s father had returned, and the three of them spent the New Year at Luan Nian’s home.

Dr. Liang was making the New Year’s Eve dinner in the kitchen, with Luan Nian helping.

Dr. Liang took the washed green onions he handed over, cutting them into sections while saying, “We won’t live here. Many years ago, your father bought a house in the city together with Song Qiuhan’s father and a few others. We live there, it’s convenient. We don’t want to live with you; the age gap is too big, and our living habits are different. Besides, if we lived here, it wouldn’t be convenient for you to bring people home, would it?”

“Bring who?”

“Anyone.” Dr. Liang looked up at Luan Nian. Her son was peeling garlic, eyes slightly downcast, not happy. She asked him, “Do you still have contact with Shang Zhitao?”

“Mm. Not much.”

Dr. Liang felt a bit sad for Luan Nian. Back then, Luan’s father said Luan Nian would mess things up, but Dr. Liang didn’t believe it. She always thought that the girl could wait a bit longer for him, wait for him to learn how to express love. Many things aren’t appropriate for elders to interfere in; they should respect the children’s wishes.

They sat together, and Dr. Liang raised her glass: “The three of us haven’t spent New Year alone in a long time. Let’s toast to this quiet year.”

Luan’s father snorted, “So you know that quiet is good. Every day you’re inviting friends over, there’s never a peaceful moment at home.”

Luan Nian watched them bicker while eating silently. Since he could remember, he had never experienced such a desolate New Year. When the New Year’s bell rang, Luan Nian texted Shang Zhitao: “Happy New Year. Has your hormonal imbalance improved?”

“Much better.”

“What does ‘much better’ mean?”

“It means… improving.”

“Send me your prescription and your original test results.”

“?”

“I’ll have someone look at them for you.”

“No need. Thank you.”

Shang Zhitao politely declined Luan Nian’s offer. Continuing with her treatment was fine; it wasn’t a big deal, and she didn’t want to get too involved.

A few days later, she received disinfectant, masks, and a whole box of supplies. She proactively sent Luan Nian a message: “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Luan Nian replied. “What about your event company?”

“Looking for other paths.”

What else could she do? She was probably facing bankruptcy.

Experts all said this was a protracted battle. Companies were tightening budgets, reducing team-building activities, and many previous services couldn’t be provided anymore. The company was still paying full salaries, but Shang Zhitao couldn’t hold out much longer at this rate.

She asked Zhang Lei, “Can I work as an agent now?”

“Have you resolved the startup capital?” Zhang Lei asked her.

“Yes, soon.”

Shang Zhitao didn’t know if she would ever have such courage again. The decision was made late one night. Fu Dong, drunk, messaged her saying, “Boss, don’t worry. No matter what happens to the company, we won’t leave. It’s okay even without a salary, just don’t get upset.”

Shang Zhitao cried her heart out that night. Watching years of hard work about to be wasted was too painful.

Shang Zhitao sold her car and mortgaged her house. Combined with her savings from these years, she had over one million yuan. There were also some outstanding payments from clients to collect. The day the bank mortgage loan came through, it was almost summer. Her company had struggled for several months with only a few scattered orders. An event company on the brink of collapse, and her career hanging by a thread.

She consoled herself: At least you still dare to burn the boats, not being crushed by the cruel reality.

The bank card in her pocket held over 1.5 million yuan, her entire fortune. Shang Zhitao felt both heroic and ridiculous at the same time.

She walked toward her home entrance. The mask made it hard to breathe. With no one around, she removed it and placed it in an antibacterial bag. Looking up, she saw Luan Nian standing there.

She couldn’t explain why, but all her grievances suddenly surged up, and she burst into tears.