She had the driver ready the carriage and set out into the pouring rain, her thoughts in complete disarray, with no idea where she ought to go. The destination she finally settled on surprised even herself—because she suddenly realized that, aside from the Bamboo Ledger and the house she shared with Yun Zhu, the only other place she could think of was, of all things, the Golden Wind Pavilion.
The pleasure house wasn’t far from the Golden Wind Pavilion. Once she named her destination, the carriage sped through the pouring rain, and before she had time to reconsider or change her mind, she’d already arrived. But Jin’er had always been a decisive sort of person; having arrived, and with someone else driving the carriage besides, she simply jumped down and walked straight in through the front gate.
In truth, ever since the Bamboo Ledger had expanded, there had still been some contact between it and the Golden Wind Pavilion, and Jin’er occasionally dropped by. But coming here out of a feeling of having nowhere else in the world to go—that was a first. It was still afternoon, and the pavilion had few guests at this hour. In a foul mood, she barged in and loudly demanded wine and company; most of the girls and attendants in the house knew her well and gathered around at once, calling out, “Sister Jin’er, Sister Jin’er!”
By the time Madam Yang Xiuhong, who ran the Golden Wind Pavilion, came over, the whole side of the establishment had already erupted into noisy commotion. She’d assumed some big spender had suddenly shown up, but on hearing it was “Young Master Baoer” who’d arrived, loudly declaring she wanted all the girls to come entertain her, Yang’s temper flared instantly. She snatched up a feather duster and marched straight toward the private room where all the noise was coming from.
The private room was already in an uproar, the girls’ laughing chatter mixing together into a din. Jin’er, in the middle of it all, was carrying on wildly with several of the nearby girls, grabbing a wine jar and drinking straight from it, then laughingly forcing wine on the girl beside her, deliberately pouring it down the front of her chest to soak her clothes; the girl, naturally, didn’t mind at all, playing at reluctance before joining in the horseplay with the others.
They all knew Jin’er well, of course; though none of them could quite figure out what had gotten into her today, showing up wanting to drink and carouse like this, spending time with old sisters was, naturally, far more fun than entertaining paying customers, and everyone happily let loose. Someone teased her playfully, someone else asked how her shop was doing these days and whether she wanted to be bought back into the house, and one of the slightly older girls asked what was troubling her—Jin’er just laughed it off and kept pouring wine down everyone’s throats. Then Madam Yang came storming in, feather duster swinging, cracking it against everyone in reach, and the girls scattered with shrieks in every direction.
“Have you all lost your minds? Causing trouble here before it’s even evening—who let you all out here… get back to your posts, all of you!”
The room was packed with women, and with Madam Yang striking her way in from the door, everyone scrambling to flee found the doorway too narrow, and quite a few of them took several solid hits. The two girls beside Jin’er jumped up to run, but Jin’er grabbed hold of them, and the three of them tumbled backward together onto a stool, which promptly toppled over, sending all three crashing to the floor. The two girls rolled and tried to scramble away, but Jin’er rolled with them, throwing her arms around them and holding tight.
“You’re not going anywhere! I called you two here, you’re not leaving!”
“Yuan Jin’er, are you asking for a beating? Coming here to wreck my business…”
“Ah—ah—ah—Jin’er, let me go!”
Total chaos. Jin’er, already fairly drunk, clung to the two girls’ skirts on the floor, refusing to let them go. Madam Yang had already come charging over; the two girls squirmed and crawled across the floor, and one of them, one of the Golden Wind Pavilion’s star attractions, had her skirt yanked askew, revealing her underclothes beneath, which Jin’er then grabbed and pulled down entirely, exposing a pale sliver of her backside. The girl beat frantically at Jin’er’s hand where it gripped her clothes, half-crying and half-laughing at the same time. Madam Yang finally reached them and swung the feather duster down hard, the first strike landing squarely on the girl’s backside, the second on Jin’er’s hand—only then did she manage to break free, yanking her underclothes back up and letting her skirt fall as she scrambled away in tears.
“I have money! I have money! I already paid! Yang Xiuhong, you’re hitting people! I’m going to… ugh, going to report you!”
“Where’s the money! Do you even know how much you owe! You spendthrift wretch!”
“Right here, I like being a spendthrift! None of your business!” Jin’er patted herself down, fumbling through her clothes, then pulled out an embroidered pouch and flung it straight at Madam Yang. “Take it all! Take all of it!”
Madam Yang caught the pouch and opened it to look inside—a few scattered ingots of silver, adding up to a bit over ten taels, plus two banknotes, each worth five taels when she held them up to check. Twenty-some taels might amount to a tidy little sum for an ordinary household, but here at the Golden Wind Pavilion, it was practically nothing. Yang Xiuhong, furious, dumped all the silver and banknotes out of the pouch onto the table. “So you really did come here just to wreck my business—twenty-some taels… that barely covers what it used to cost just to watch you dance, and you dare drink on top of that… What are you all staring at? Get out of here, all of you!”
Madam Yang finished cursing out Yuan Jin’er, then turned and barked at the girls crowding the doorway inside and out; they scrambled to pull the door shut and flee. Jin’er staggered up off the floor. “No money? Fine, I’ll just stay here and put myself up as collateral, go back to entertaining guests again!”
Before she’d even finished, Madam Yang’s feather duster came cracking down on her backside. “You—you—you… you already left this place, and now you come back saying something like that… has your brain gone soft today? Have you lost your mind?”
Struck by that blow, Jin’er’s body swayed; she stood there, lips pressed tight, not moving. Madam Yang sat down at the table, glaring at her, then slapped a hand down hard on the tabletop. “What happened. Tell me.” Her tone had softened somewhat by now.
Jin’er shuffled over and sat down at the table as well, pouting for a long moment before finally saying, “I’ve made up my mind—I’m coming back to be a prostitute!”
Before she’d even finished the sentence, Madam Yang came swinging the feather duster at her without pause. “What prostitute! What prostitute! You think that’s something to play at! If you don’t tell me what’s actually wrong, I’ll beat you to death today! Coming here calling for the girls to eat and drink and now refusing to pay—don’t you dare run—” Madam Yang was clearly not playing around anymore, and Jin’er, no longer daring to hold her ground, shrieked and circled around the table to dodge her.
“I came here to spend money, and you’re hitting me… you old maid nobody wants…”
“I’m not some old maid nobody wants—I’ve been plenty wanted in my time… don’t you run, I’ll beat you within an inch of your life…”
“Ahhhhh…”
“I told you before not to go selling off whatever that was, thinking you were born for the life of a young lady… and then when things actually started looking up for you two, I was happy for you, genuinely—and now you want to come crawling back? You reckless girl, you’ve never once had someone truly want you, that’s why you don’t understand how dangerous the world really is…”
“Sister Yun Zhu is getting married!”
“Huh…? Wait. That’s good news.”
Jin’er wailed the words out through her tears. Madam Yang froze for a moment, stopping her assault, then finally caught up. “Yun Zhu getting married is obviously good news! Why are you making such a fuss about it! Are you saying you can’t go on living once she’s married?”
“I love Sister Yun Zhu!”
“Nonsense! Don’t try that with me!”
“But it’s because of Sister Yun Zhu that I even left in the first place… and now Sister Yun Zhu is suddenly getting married, what am I supposed to do! Am I just supposed to live alone in that little house, running the Bamboo Ledger all by myself… what am I supposed to do once she’s married, I’m not nearly as capable as Sister Yun Zhu…”
Jin’er wailed all of this out through her tears, and even she seemed a little taken aback by her own words once she’d said them. Madam Yang studied her, sat down beside the table, and set the feather duster aside. “Come sit here… So you actually wanted her to stay by your side forever, is that it? I’ve told you before, this is a good thing—a woman needs to find someone suitable and settle down eventually. You should be happy for her… Go on, tell me. What kind of man has she found?”
Though she’d started out demanding money, Yang Xiuhong now poured a cup of wine for her of her own accord. Jin’er took it, gulped it down in an irritated huff, and after a moment of silence finally began telling the whole story of Yun Zhu and Ning Yi. Madam Yang listened as she poured, drinking along with her and refilling Jin’er’s cup too. In truth, in an environment like this, both women could hold their liquor quite well; Jin’er was simply overwrought with emotion, nowhere near actually drunk.
“Sounds like a pretty decent man, honestly. If Yun Zhu’s found a home like that, it’s a good thing for her.” Once Jin’er had finished her account, Madam Yang said, holding her wine cup, “One of these days you’ll find yourself a decent man too, and you’ll get married off just the same!”
“I’ve never met a decent man!” Jin’er shot back flatly.
Madam Yang gave her a look. “Don’t speak too soon…”
Jin’er sensed there was something behind those words, but she was too tired to press the matter, and simply kept drinking cup after cup, with Yang Xiuhong keeping her company. “No matter what, Yun Zhu getting married is a good thing… I’ve got no way to go congratulate her in person, so let’s just drink to her here instead.” Jin’er pouted and muttered on under her breath for a while longer, until Madam Yang finally said, “I think that’s enough drinking.”
“Mm, I’m a bit drunk.”
“Then get out of here already! Don’t disturb my business!” Yang Xiuhong picked up the feather duster and cracked it against the table again, sending Jin’er leaping backward in fright.
“Whatever you drank and whatever you called the girls for today—it’s all going on the Bamboo Ledger’s tab, and I’ll have someone come collect it in a few days! Don’t even think about trying to skip out on it! And you—you already left the Golden Wind Pavilion, so don’t think you can just come back. We don’t run things that way here! You’re not welcome! Get out!”
Jin’er looked at her, wounded, looking as though she might burst into tears any moment. Yang Xiuhong stood there, unable to bring herself to swing at her again. Then Jin’er walked over and gently threw her arms around her, burying her face against her chest. Yang Xiuhong patted her shoulder, her fierce expression finally softening. “If you’re bored, you can come by and visit, chat with me for a while. Just don’t call for the girls again…”
“Madam Yang…” Jin’er said softly, “with a chest that big, how have you never landed yourself a man…”
“You little troublemaker—” A sudden holler burst out from inside the Golden Wind Pavilion, and moments later Jin’er came bolting out from upstairs, laughing through her tears, with Madam Yang chasing after her, feather duster raised, swatting at her the whole way. Not until she’d burst out through the front gate did Jin’er finally turn, standing defiantly in the rain, taunting Madam Yang. A moment later, the carriage pulled up; she climbed in, and the defiant look on her face fell away at once. She was soaked through, and by now it was hard to tell whether what was on her face was rain or tears. The turmoil in her heart had eased somewhat, but it was only now that she suddenly understood something: all this time, she’d believed she was the one protecting Yun Zhu, quietly supporting her from behind—when in truth, it had always been the other way around. She’d been living by watching how Yun Zhu lived, working hard because Yun Zhu worked hard. And now that Yun Zhu was about to get married, she had nothing left to aim for. Realizing this all at once, she suddenly burst into tears.
As the carriage rolled away into the distance, Madam Yang stood at the door of the Golden Wind Pavilion, waving the feather duster, and let out a sigh. “I only ever went by what you told me… if you’d said he was no good, why would I have thought otherwise… honestly, you silly girl…”
Jin’er, of course, never heard any of that. By the time she got back to the pleasure house, the rain had eased considerably. She tidied herself up a little before going to find Yun Zhu. Asking around, she learned Ning Yi had only just left not long ago. She made her way to the accounts room and gently pushed the door open, finding Yun Zhu leaning against the bed, lost in thought. Seeing her come in, Yun Zhu’s face flushed, and she gave a faint smile.
There was a faint lingering scent in the room; having spent so much time at the Golden Wind Pavilion herself, Jin’er caught it the moment she stepped in. She stopped short in the doorway, her eyes falling on a cut square of fabric taken from the bedsheet, now held in Yun Zhu’s hand, dotted with small points of red like blooming winter plum blossoms.
“Sister Yun Zhu… you… the two of you…”
Yun Zhu nodded. Jin’er’s nose stung with sudden emotion. “So… you’re really going to get married?”
“No…” Yun Zhu shook her head, then smiled. “I’ve already given myself to him. And now… maybe it’s time to leave. Jin’er, haven’t you always said you wanted to see my hometown? Let’s… let’s go there, the two of us.”
Jin’er stared, stunned, for a long moment, then suddenly understood, nodding eagerly. “Okay! Okay, let’s do it!”
The problem weighing on her heart suddenly resolved itself, just like that. Though the turn of events left her genuinely puzzled, Jin’er was simply too happy to question it further. If Yun Zhu had decided to leave, all the better—far away from that Ning Yi, giving up the Bamboo Ledger, giving up everything—it didn’t matter. As long as she had Yun Zhu with her, everything would go back to being just like before.
They made their way back home together. The rain let up as evening fell, leaving the air cool and clean. Jin’er hummed to herself as she packed up their things around the house, while Yun Zhu tucked the small square of cloth into the bottom of her travel bundle, then went to sit quietly on the terrace outside, watching the water. When Jin’er came out to join her, the terrace’s dim lantern swayed gently, casting its glow over Yun Zhu’s slight figure seated there; she was humming something softly to herself in the darkness, and as Jin’er looked over, she could make out the gentle, wistful smile on her face.
Having spent so much time together, Jin’er naturally understood that Yun Zhu was thinking of Ning Yi. This terrace was where the two of them had sat together countless times, singing songs, dancing, chasing each other around, bickering playfully—this was even where Ning Yi had once kissed her. Jin’er knew Yun Zhu’s temperament well enough, and it was precisely because of that understanding that she found herself utterly unable to make sense of this decision to leave. If she really left, would Yun Zhu actually be happy… and what about Ning Yi…
The question lingered in her mind, becoming a fresh source of confusion, but that night she didn’t voice it aloud. By the next morning, a fog had settled over Jiangning. Since Yun Zhu’s maid Hutao had already married and moved out, they didn’t plan to bring her along on this trip; they simply left a letter at the house asking the young couple to look after the Bamboo Ledger for the time being. The only ones setting out were Yun Zhu, Jin’er, and Jin’er’s own maid, Kou’er.