Luo Yining never imagined Luo Shenyuan would discover the truth.
Chaotic sounds pulsed like tinnitus in her ears. Perhaps it was tinnitus. She still managed to ask defiantly, “What do you mean by that?”
Seeing Luo Yining’s pale face, Luo Shenyuan understood everything.
He lowered his eyes, sitting as steady as a mountain, and poured himself some tea. “Do you know how many hidden guards are in this mansion?”
“In every passageway, in every courtyard. Whatever anyone says or does each day, I know about it.”
After speaking, he waved his hand, and the string of beads she had asked the servant to find earlier flew out from his sleeve onto the small table, sliding in front of her before clattering to the ground. The sound of it hitting the floor felt like a slap to her face.
No servant had brought it to her; it had ended up in his hands instead.
“Why are you silent now? What happened at the Lu family back then—” He paused slightly, with a faint smile. “When did you ever stay with the Lu family? And when were you Lu Si’s wife?”
Luo Yining’s hands trembled. She wanted to bend down to pick up the prayer beads, but she didn’t dare move.
Cold sweat broke out all over her body. She couldn’t believe it, cursing herself thousands of times in her heart, but it couldn’t change the stupid fact. He had heard everything. He knew it all now. Being so clever, he must have figured everything out. Her mind was in such a tangle she couldn’t think straight. She swallowed and slowly bent down to pick up the string of beads.
But he pulled her away, suddenly standing up. His hand struck her hand sharply.
“Don’t pick it up!” His biting voice seemed to come from hell itself.
As if stung by the blow, she finally slowly crouched down, hugging herself and crying.
“What do you mean by crying? Speak!” He seemed to despise Luo Yining’s weakness, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him.
Luo Yining cried so miserably, so unsightly. She didn’t want Luo Shenyuan to see her like this at all. She hated others seeing her cry! But Luo Shenyuan insisted she not lower her head, her chin aching as if it might shatter. He didn’t care how wretched she looked!
He finally waved his hand and let go. Luo Yining stood up at last. Perhaps her sudden uncontrollable crying was due to fear and terror. Now she managed to calm down somewhat, standing up shakily while leaning on the edge of the bed. There was no room for excuses; nothing could cover up the truth now. Luo Yining suddenly smiled: “Fine, I’ll tell you if you want to hear it.”
She gestured slightly: “Sit down and listen.”
“Did you know that Lu Jiaxue actually had an original wife?” Luo Yining asked him first.
Luo Shenyuan didn’t answer, but Luo Yining didn’t wait for his response anyway. She continued on her own: “His original wife was from the Luo family of Shunde. The Luo family had produced two jinshi scholars. When the original wife of Old Master Luo Three passed away, she left behind several girls. The Luo woman who married Lu Jiaxue was the youngest among them. Without a mother, she grew up like that. Then she met the young Lu Jiaxue—Lu Jiaxue wanted to marry her, but the Luo family’s status wasn’t a match for his. He used some tricks to finally marry her into the Lu family.”
She seemed to be recalling that period of the past.
Luo Shenyuan listened slowly, his expression growing more and more gloomy. This was what he least wanted to hear… At first, he wanted her to explain clearly, but now he suddenly felt a bit regretful.
“Later in the Lu family, Lu Jiaxue had no status. He had to secretly scheme for his elder brother’s position as heir. He wanted to protect the Luo woman he had married. He didn’t tell her anything, only pretending to be a dissolute young master. So that Luo woman was kept in the dark by him. Later, she died in the power struggle, falling off a cliff. But after her death, Lu Jiaxue rose to the highest position.”
Luo Shenyuan closed his eyes indifferently, his quiet breathing prolonged in the night.
“But perhaps that Luo woman’s fate wasn’t sealed. Her lonely soul fell upon a little girl who had just passed away. Then, she continued to live on in place of that little girl… That little girl had an illegitimate elder brother who loved her dearly, but the little girl didn’t treat this illegitimate brother as a person… Do you know who this Luo woman is?”
“Enough! Stop talking!” Luo Shenyuan suddenly interrupted her rudely.
“It’s the Yining in front of you.” Luo Yining continued. Without explaining clearly… this relationship could never be mended.
It was like a glacier collapsing, with cold mixed with snow howling down, engulfing him.
With the rumbling of shattering ice and roaring sounds, this absurd past was almost destructively painful. This person had once completely belonged to someone else, living with him. He immediately laughed softly: “I always thought Lu Jiaxue and I had a grudge over stealing a wife. This wasn’t wrong, just the person was wrong—in that case, am I, Luo Shenyuan, the one who stole someone else’s wife?”
“And you—should have been the Marquis of Ningyuan’s wife?” His gaze at her held a faint mockery. “So that’s why you met him several times, helping him keep that protective Buddhist beads.”
Luo Yining felt a sharp pain at his words.
What did he mean? Meeting Lu Jiaxue wasn’t her choice. She didn’t want to say these things either. She wished none of this had happened, but it wasn’t up to her to choose: “…If you insist on thinking that way, yes—if I hadn’t died, I should be the Marquis of Ningyuan’s wife now.” She seemed to be mocking herself.
“When did he find out?” Luo Shenyuan suppressed the emotions that threatened to destroy everything in his heart and continued to ask, “Tell me, when did Lu Jiaxue find out!”
His voice still held a cold edge. Luo Yining smiled bitterly before answering: “Three months after we married… that day when I was injured.”
This time he was silent for even longer.
Including all the little details between her and Lu Jiaxue, her words dissuade him from contending with Lu Jiaxue. Her being kidnapped by Lu Jiaxue, her natural demeanor with Lu Jiaxue before, Lu Jiaxue’s strange obsession with her… So there were reasons for all of this.
These two people were once husband and wife! But she never told him, always hiding it!
“You knew he was your former husband, but you still acknowledged him as your adoptive father. Passing through his hands several times…” Luo Shenyuan walked in front of her, bending down in an almost elegant posture. “Luo Yining, tell me. What were you thinking when you faced Lu Jiaxue?”
Luo Yining smiled bitterly and said: “What was I thinking… What could I think? I’m not worthy of his love, he can have anyone he wants. My words today probably finally pushed him away. I don’t deserve his kindness either. He could live well without me; I’m like a jinx… Moreover, I’m married to you now. Why are you asking these questions?” Her hand rested on the table, gripping it tightly.
Luo Shenyuan’s hand tightly gripped the edge of the small table: “Finally, I ask you one thing, why were you good to me when you were young?”
—Because he would become the future Prime Minister, ruling over the world with unparalleled power and authority.
Luo Yining closed her eyes, suddenly feeling choked up again. Tears fell steadily. At first it was for this purpose, but it had long since changed. From the scar on his right hand, she had been moved by him. Because no one was kind to him, she was filled with pity for him. Because he was her Third Brother, had been for a very long time.
“Did you want to use me?” Luo Shenyuan said, his hands behind his back, his tall figure like a mountain. “You never doubted I would pass the imperial exams, always full of confidence in me.”
He didn’t know about the hairpin incident, but based on his intuition, he instinctively knew something was wrong.
“Third Brother…” She reached for his hand, but he avoided her touch.
She murmured an explanation: “It was like that at first. But later it wasn’t, later it wasn’t…”
This must be important to him. If all her kindness to him was because of this. His teacher, father, everyone around him… they were all kind to him for some reason or another. He must be disappointed, and on top of that, this woman was once the wife of his mortal enemy, sharing a bed with his enemy. What man wouldn’t care about this— Luo Yining thought of this, and she trembled with fear.
Yining suddenly felt dejected. She said with difficulty, “If you mind my past with Lu Jiaxue, if you really can’t accept it, you can divorce me. Out of sight, out of mind. If possible… I’d like to take Bao’er with me. He’s still young and can’t be separated from his mother.”
As she said this, her tears completely blurred her vision. She was practically kneeling before Luo Shenyuan. Thus, she couldn’t see his expression or know what he was thinking.
She only heard him suddenly sweep all the cords and sorted glass beads off the table! Large and small beads fell like jade discs, scattering across the floor in a colorful, shimmering display.
He took a breath, then said coldly, “Bao’er is my eldest legitimate son. What right do you have to take him away?”
He seemed to have become a stranger she didn’t recognize. All tenderness and gentleness had vanished in this confrontation.
“Third Brother!” She tried to grab his hand, but he brushed her away again.
Indeed, he cared, he hated, he was jealous! Her past with Lu Jiaxue, her concealment from him, her using him. And his anger at her words! What did she mean by divorcing her? Did she want to leave so badly? All this came crashing down, making him both jealous and furious.
“Luo Yining, I’m really not that rational,” Luo Shenyuan said. “We need to separate for a while. You… go to sleep first.”
He left the inner chamber.
The maids outside heard the commotion but didn’t dare enter. Only when Lord Luo came out did they bow and greet him. Then Pearl, sharp-eyed, noticed Lord Luo’s right hand seemed injured and bleeding. She immediately said, “My lord, your hand…”
He must have been cut just now…
Luo Shenyuan indifferently gripped the wound: “It’s nothing.” This wound was left for her. He wrapped it with his dark sleeve, forcing himself to leave.
He needed to avoid truly hurting her and calmly face her past. He also needed to let her think carefully. At least, think about herself!
Pearl and the others were puzzled and immediately rushed into the inner chamber.
They found Luo Yining kneeling on the ground crying and hurried to help her up. They heard Yining trembling as she grabbed Pearl’s hand and said, “Pearl, I feel like he doesn’t want me anymore… He won’t want me anymore…”
If a man faced someone who had shared a bed and married another, would he still want her? This was her retribution, whether or not Lu Jiaxue had intentionally led her to reveal this. This was her retribution!
“My lady, what are you saying?” Pearl took out a handkerchief to wipe her tears. “What do you mean by wanting or not wanting? How could the master not want you!”
But Luo Yining cried bitterly. When Pearl helped her up, she found her whole body weak and limp. She cried like this for quite a while. The night grew colder, and the sound of the night watchman’s rattle passed by. Some families were celebrating the New Year early, with sporadic sounds of firecrackers. Only then did she come to her senses, leaning against the cold wall.
Her weakness was released through her crying, and she calmed down. She should go find him… She didn’t know what to say, so she would just be honest.
If Luo Shenyuan no longer liked her, let him divorce her. She would return to the Duke Ying’s mansion to live out her days.
Luo Yining thought hazily, staying up until midnight before sleeping. Before sleeping, she instructed her maid: “Wake me up at the Hour of the Dragon tomorrow morning.”
Tomorrow was New Year’s Eve. Court officials would all be on leave, so he didn’t need to go to court.
But Yining didn’t sleep well. She dreamed of Lu Jiaxue’s cold face, him leaving without even looking at her as if he despised her completely. She dreamed of Luo Shenyuan writing a divorce letter, the handwriting familiar but the content unclear. She dreamed of her trunks being packed one by one and carried out by the Luo family, while Luo Shenyuan never appeared again. He was gone from her dreams forever!
Luo Yining suddenly woke up, realizing she was sweating. She pushed aside the curtain and called Pearl in.
Pearl wrung out a towel for her and said, “It’s not the Hour of the Dragon yet… You went to sleep late last night, why don’t you rest a bit more?”
Luo Yining was already getting dressed. She asked, “Where’s the Third Young Master?”
“He should be sleeping in the study in the front courtyard at this time. I haven’t heard that he went out,” Pearl said.
Luo Yining actually sighed in relief.
She sat at her dressing table and found she looked very haggard today. She used some powder to cover it up, then applied rose-colored lip rouge to her lips, finally regaining some color. Daimei did her hair in a drooping cloud bun: “It’s New Year’s Eve today. Servant, shall I use this golden peony hairpin for you? It looks nice.”
Luo Yining nodded. After washing her hands, she went to the kitchen. She busied herself skillfully, steaming several plates of pastries and a bowl of mushroom and lamb dumplings. Kneading dough, mixing filling, wrapping dumplings – by the time she finished, half an hour had passed. The sky was just beginning to lighten.
Luo Yining carried the food box to the front courtyard, passing through Jiashu Hall and the corridor.
Several servants were still guarding the study door. Seeing her, they bowed and said, “My lady, the master is still sleeping soundly. He hasn’t woken up yet.”
“Then I’ll wait. Don’t wake him up. Let’s wait until he wakes up on his own…” Luo Yining set down the breakfast and sat on the stone bench in front of the study, silently thinking she shouldn’t have made dumplings. By the time he woke up, the dumplings would probably be mushy and inedible. He used to come and go; she never had the chance… to make him breakfast before. This was the first time.
The sun had already risen, its light shining on the stone table, when sounds of waking came from inside. It seemed there were maids serving him inside. A servant went in to announce her, while Yining had already been waiting for half an hour.
Actually, it wasn’t that Luo Shenyuan got up late; it was that she had risen early.
Luo Yining saw the servant come out and gripped the handle of the food box tightly. The servant approached and bowed: “My lady, the master has awakened and asks you to go in.”
Luo Yining stood up with her now mushy dumplings. Her heart suddenly began to race.