As soon as Yun Ye opened his eyes, he saw Cheng Chumo’s pair of large ox eyes. Within them was mockery and contempt, but no sympathy whatsoever. Come to think of it, being beaten unconscious by a girl in her prime—how could he have the face to call himself a general?
Not bothering to care about such things, Yun Ye turned over and scrambled up. Jumping down from the bed platform without even putting on his shoes, he was about to charge outside when Cheng Chumo grabbed him around the waist and tossed him back onto the platform. Just as he was about to curse, his hands and feet were pinned down firmly. Li Chengqian beside him cooperatively handed over a rope, and in a few moves he was trussed up like a large rice dumpling.
While tying him up, Cheng Chumo said, “Little Ye, this brother knows you grew up at your teacher’s side and haven’t seen beautiful women. You met one in Jiuyi, but your brother took her away—that was brother’s fault. Next time when we meet a good one, you go first, brother. I’ll block the swarm of bees and butterflies behind you for you. But as for women in the palace, forget it.”
Li Chengqian held a tea bowl, crossed his legs, and sat in a chair brought from the Yun family home. Taking a light sip of tea, he let out a comfortable breath with a leisurely appearance like someone sitting on a city tower watching the scenery.
“Chengqian, who is that woman?” Fortunately this time his mouth was not gagged.
“A female member of the palace. Do you think this Crown Prince would be the kind of traitor who betrays his own people?” The noble Crown Prince said with great righteousness. Yun Ye felt this face was most suitable as a punching bag target.
“One grand meal, plus a large package of fried chicken!” Yun Ye opened his bidding.
“Can such trivial benefits move the dignified Crown Prince?” Although he swallowed several mouthfuls of saliva, he still firmly refused.
“Three meals, plus I’ll help you train several cooks!” Yun Ye opened his price to the maximum in one go.
“Deal! I’ll send ten cooks to your house later. You’re not allowed to cut corners. Otherwise, hehe, you understand.” Seeing your impatient appearance, I won’t keep you anxious anymore. That person you met today is my elder sister, Li Anlan!”
“Nonsense! Aren’t you the eldest among His Majesty’s offspring?”
“Hmph, transmitted falsehoods and rumors. How could outsiders know palace affairs?”
After signing countless unequal treaties, Yun Ye finally figured out who Li Anlan was. She was the product of the great His Majesty Li’er’s drunken encounter. At that time, still a dissolute youth, Li’er was fourteen years old. After impregnating a maid, he forgot this matter completely and threw it to the heavens. Due to her mother’s lowly position, as Li’er’s eldest daughter in substance, she did not enjoy the treatment she should have received. If not for Empress Zhangsun establishing herself as a worthy empress of her generation and pretending to treat the consorts and children of the Prince Qin’s residence as her own, Li Anlan’s existence would not have been discovered. When the tragic Li Anlan met her own father, she was already twelve years old. Li’er naturally had nothing to say about his own children. Her name was written into the family register, and just as he was about to give her a title, he had to be busy eliminating his own elder and younger brothers, so this matter was shelved. It was not until the entire family entered the imperial palace that this matter was raised again.
Unexpectedly, the twelve-year-old Li Anlan had an extremely fiery temper and actually refused to accept Li’er’s conferment. Li’er, feeling guilty in his heart yet unwilling to bow his head, placed Li Anlan and her mother in a remote corner of the imperial palace, reducing their daily supplies as punishment. Li Anlan was not a weak woman who would sit and await death. She actually opened up a patch of land in the imperial palace to cultivate and feed herself. Although daily necessities were scarce, she would not bow her head to her own father. Li’er was helpless and could only let her be. This elder sister had always been an object of admiration for the other imperial princes and princesses in the palace. However, because Li Anlan’s attitude toward the Emperor was terrible, the younger siblings could only respectfully keep their distance. This created her style of coming and going alone in the imperial palace.
“Hahahaha, my wife truly is no ordinary person—she has character! I like her!” After listening to Li Chengqian’s introduction, Yun Ye happily rolled all over the bed.
This person not only looked like his wife from later generations, she even inherited that fiery temperament—stubborn, independent, desperately pursuing self-control. Incredible! He had to reserve this wife quickly, otherwise if some pig snatched her away, he would cry without tears.
“Eh? Little Ye, are you certain you haven’t gone mad? My father emperor didn’t fail to find a prince consort for her. She forcibly ruined the marriage by threatening death, and also said her husband must be learned with five cartloads of books, elegant and graceful, able to command troops when mounted and pacify the people when dismounted—a worthy talent. More importantly, he can only marry her alone for his entire life. Otherwise she would rather be alone her whole life than settle. Tell me, where can such a husband be found? Even if there were one, would he condescend to marry her?” Li Chengqian’s face was full of disdain.
“Chumo, would younger brother count as elegant and graceful?”
“Much better than me. There aren’t many in the Left Military Guard more handsome than you.”
“Does younger brother barely count as learned with five cartloads of books?”
“There’s no one smarter than you. That’s what my dad said.”
“Then tell me, does someone like me who is elegant, graceful, and learned with five cartloads of books—a worthy talent—have a chance to marry your younger sister back home?”
“Nothing more to say—just one word: go for it!”
Li Chengqian looked at Cheng Chumo, then at Yun Ye, as if seeing two monsters. What kind of people could be narcissistic to this degree? Although Yun Ye was tied up, he had the appearance of a bridegroom about to enter the bridal chamber. Cheng Chumo rubbed his fists and wiped his palms as if he were about to storm the imperial palace to snatch someone. Not bothering with these two lunatics, he himself should consider how to make Yun Ye fulfill his promise—that would be better.
Li Anlan was very angry. Today she encountered a lecher who dared to call her wife right in front of the Crown Prince. At first glance, he was some pampered son from some family. There was not a single good person around the Crown Prince—all the useless wastes under heaven had gathered in Chang’an, each dressed slick and shiny but with bellies full of straw.
Thinking of how a while ago Father Emperor wanted to marry her to the second son of Duke Zhangping, Zhang Liang, made her furious. What kind of bastard was that! His ugly appearance aside, he wore rouge and powder with a silk flower as large as a bowl opening stuck in his hair. As soon as he opened his mouth, he made a complete fool of himself. Father Emperor was angered to laughter. He stumbled through reciting a single poem ‘Guan Ju.’ He could not even calculate the millet grain in the Five Grain Warehouse south of the city properly. Such a good-for-nothing still insisted he was a mounted general. Wobbling unsteadily while riding a horse, she used a pebble to startle the horse slightly, and he hugged the horse’s neck crying for his parents. Father Emperor truly seemed to detest her, randomly finding someone to marry her off.
Just as she was feeling sorry for herself, Little Lingdang came running over. Today she had been borrowed to serve at Tingtao Pavilion, having heard it was to attend two newly arrived students. In this imperial palace, only her own maid was borrowed here and there. She herself did not permit it, but could not withstand Mother’s bitter pleading. Alas! Poor Little Lingdang.
“Miss, Miss, I’m back!” Little Lingdang, wearing a palace maid’s hairstyle, called out joyfully while pushing open the window. Outdoor sunlight spilled onto Li Anlan’s body, instantly dispelling the gloom in her heart. Little Lingdang was a complete optimist who never knew what worry was. Seeing her young lady looking at her, she pulled out a lotus leaf package from her bosom, carefully opened it—inside was an oily yellow chicken drumstick. She handed the drumstick to her young lady. “Miss, eat quickly! This is what I tore from a silly young master’s food tray today. He didn’t even notice. It tastes wonderful!”
Li Anlan’s heart felt waves of sourness. She herself was a dignified Princess Imperial, yet because her mother’s status was lowly, she had been forgotten for twelve years. Now that she had reached the imperial palace, because she was dissatisfied that Father Emperor had forgotten her and was unwilling to surrender to him, she had fallen to the point of feeding herself. Ordinarily she rarely even saw meat. The way Little Lingdang swallowed her saliva made her feel even more desolate.
She tore off a strip of chicken meat, put it in her mouth, and slowly chewed, as if wanting to swallow everything in that strip of meat. She gave the remaining chicken to Little Lingdang. “This bit is enough for me. I haven’t had much appetite these past days. You eat the rest.”
Without thinking, Little Lingdang took it and bit into it in large mouthfuls. After eating the meat, she contentedly sucked on the chicken bone, making sucking sounds as if thoroughly enjoying it. “Lingdang, what was that silly young master’s name?”
“I heard he’s called Yun Ye, a marquis. I tore the drumstick from his food tray. He’s very amusing. Without the drumstick, he just drank a large bowl of radish soup and didn’t eat the remaining chicken either. Originally I thought he had discovered it, but he said nothing at all. When the Crown Prince asked, he also said nothing. Clearly he hadn’t eaten the drumstick, yet he argued with the Crown Prince for ages. Tell me, isn’t he silly?” Little Lingdang felt secretly pleased with herself.
“Silly girl, he knew you stole and ate it—he just didn’t say so. He even covered for you in front of the Crown Prince. This person is quite good, like a scholar with a forgiving heart. Not like that lecher I met today who actually called me wife in broad daylight in public—a vulgar and base fellow. If I see him again, I’ll still beat him to teach him not to casually take liberties with others.”
While the master and servant cursed the lecher in their own room, Yun Ye was in the Eastern Palace applying a hot egg to his eye socket. No matter who it was, sporting a panda eye would not be elegant and graceful. His heart was wildly joyful. Since arriving in the Great Tang, this was the first time he had discovered the joy of life. As long as he got Li Anlan back home and in a couple years had a son, everything here would be no different from later generations. His heart, his family could then truly be called complete. Looking at the blurry bronze mirror, Yun Ye said through gritted teeth, “Anlan girl, you are mine. Whoever tries to snatch you from me, I will definitely tear them into ten thousand pieces.”
Cheng Chumo and Li Chengqian were watching him from the side. Hearing this vicious statement, they both shivered in unison.
“Yezi, let’s still discuss the locust plague matter. Do you truly want to see my mother empress and then tell her you don’t want to attend classes?” Li Chengqian decided to divert the topic. Yun Ye’s romance was truly too dark, too bloody.
“Who said that? How could something like attending classes be abandoned halfway? From now on I will come to the imperial palace every day to receive the Empress’s teachings, rain or shine!” Yun Ye spoke decisively.
“Are you certain you’re coming to receive my mother empress’s teachings and not waiting to see my elder sister?” Li Chengqian was somewhat suspicious.
“Of course I’m coming for education. I’ve discovered I’ve become quite degenerate recently. It’s necessary to listen more to the Empress’s golden and jade words of wisdom. If I can conveniently see your elder sister, that would be even better.”
“Little Ye, you just said we brothers were going to the countryside to save the people of the realm. Have you changed your mind again?” Cheng Chumo was somewhat dejected. To speak from the heart, he truly did not want to come to the imperial palace for classes.
“Locust plague? What locust plague? Was there such a thing? Don’t you see I need to chase after my wife? Who has time to save anyone? That’s His Majesty’s business. Right now the most important thing for me is to get my wife.” After hearing Yun Ye’s words, Li Chengqian and Cheng Chumo pounced on him together, pinning him on the bed platform and crazily ravaging him.