“Cui Jinbai, he… he’s gone mad!” Bu Shulin pulled Shen Xihe aside after Xue Jinqiao left.
Shen Xihe gave her a puzzled look. “Mad?”
“Yes, mad!” Bu Shulin was still shaken. “He came to my manor to confess his love, and even repeated… repeated those careless words I used to tease him with. He insisted I had feelings for him too, acting like the lady of the house, even saying I told the servants he was to be the mistress of the Bu manor!”
Shen Xihe looked horrified, even casting a doubtful glance at Bu Shulin, wondering if she was the one talking nonsense.
The refined and dignified Young Master Cui saying such things completely overturned Shen Xihe’s understanding and challenged her ability to accept it.
“Isn’t he, isn’t he mad?” Bu Shulin found nothing strange about Shen Xihe’s reaction, as it mirrored her own.
Confirming Bu Shulin wasn’t speaking nonsense, Shen Xihe nodded: “He does seem rather… unusual.”
“What should I do, You You?” Bu Shulin clutched Shen Xihe’s sleeve and asked softly.
Shen Xihe showed a helpless expression: “I don’t know either.”
For other matters, she might have many suggestions, but for this kind of situation, she had no solutions at all.
“Cui Jinbai is the Crown Prince’s man,” Shen Xihe revealed this much to Bu Shulin.
Bu Shulin was shocked: “Then he… he…”
What difference did it make whether he knew she was a woman or not? The Crown Prince knew her true identity, and since Cui Jinbai was his man, what difference was there between concealing it and not?
“You You, are you suggesting I should reveal to him that I’m a woman?” Bu Shulin asked uncertainly.
Shen Xihe shook her head slightly: “This is your matter. The Crown Prince hasn’t told him and won’t tell him. Whether to tell him or not is your decision. How to handle him is up to you. Don’t ask me about this – I have no suggestions.”
“How do you handle His Highness the Crown Prince?” Bu Shulin felt lost and sought guidance.
“I don’t handle him. I’ve already said what needed to be said.” Shen Xihe smiled slightly.
Bu Shulin pouted and tilted her head dejectedly: “I’ve made such a mess.”
“Yes, you’ve brought this on yourself.” Shen Xihe twisted the knife.
An indignant Bu Shulin said: “You must help me – you’re the one who told me to pursue him that day!”
“I only told you to help him avoid trouble. If you couldn’t control yourself and truly caught his attention, that’s not my concern.” Shen Xihe gave her a cool glance. “If you insist on blaming me, I could tell him you’re a woman. Perhaps feeling deceived, he’ll cut off his feelings in his heartbreak, and you’ll be free?”
Bu Shulin stared at Shen Xihe lifelessly. Was this helping her? This was harming her. If Cui Jinbai could convince himself to accept her as a man, if he learned she was a woman, she’d probably never escape him in this lifetime!
Shen Xihe turned to look directly into Bu Shulin’s eyes: “Lin’er, search your heart – do you truly have no feelings for him at all?”
Bu Shulin’s lips moved, but she remained silent.
“If you have feelings, why not talk to him?” Shen Xihe said. “I know what you’re thinking. This path ahead of us – we don’t know how long it will be. You’re no longer teenagers. You fear the long journey ahead will waste his entire life.”
“That’s only part of it,” Bu Shulin said softly. “I don’t know when my identity might be exposed, nor when His Majesty will lose patience and move against the Bu family. I don’t want to involve him.”
The person who attacked her during the Lantern Festival still hadn’t been found. Bu Shulin was surrounded by danger, and she didn’t want to drag Cui Jinbai into these troubled waters.
“Whether he’s willing or not, tell him and let him make his own choice. Whether he regrets it later or not, that’s for him to bear.” Shen Xihe disagreed with Bu Shulin’s one-sided consideration for Cui Jinbai, making decisions on his behalf.
After a moment of silence, Bu Shulin said: “You You, I’m not as rational or controlled as you. You knew marrying the Crown Prince was a dangerous move, yet you didn’t back down. I know you’re confident you won’t be trapped by emotions or lose control because of them. But I’m different. I truly have feelings for him, and I’m afraid I might lose all caution for his sake in the future, forgetting my identity.”
Hearing this, Shen Xihe didn’t know what to say. Every step Bu Shulin took was like walking on thin ice. Whether someone has feelings for another person shows in their expression and mannerisms – perceptive people can notice just by seeing two people together.
Over these years, Bu Shulin had completely ingrained the identity of a man into her bones. If she told Cui Jinbai and they truly became lovers, she would likely soon expose herself as a woman through unconscious gestures and instinctive reactions. These would be most fatal – she might not even notice she had exposed herself before others had already seen through everything.
Shen Xihe understood – this was about whether to give in to one’s heart. As long as Bu Shulin didn’t indulge her heart, and didn’t acknowledge her feelings, even if she cared for Cui Jinbai, she wouldn’t reveal any feminine mannerisms. But if she confessed and they became lovers, once she became a woman in love, her every move would become extremely dangerous.
Just like that day at the Tao mansion, when Bu Shulin was influenced by her and almost performed a woman’s courtesy to the Tao elders.
“Poor Young Master Cui, though you haven’t hurt him too badly,” Shen Xihe said somewhat teasingly.
Bu Shulin rolled her eyes at her: “How dare I hurt him? You didn’t see his strange behavior today – I felt like I was seeing a ghost. I can’t get away from him fast enough. These days you don’t need to send A Xi to check on me, I’ll come here myself daily.”
She stayed at the Princess’s manor until dark. Previously she had to be somewhat mindful, only visiting every few days, but now that Shen Xihe was betrothed, as long as the Crown Prince didn’t object, she could openly stay from morning till night.
She could also freeload meals at the Princess’s manor, she thought gleefully.
But her pleasant thoughts were short-lived. Cui Jinbai was never one to accept defeat passively. When he was willing to let her bully him, naturally she had the upper hand. When he wasn’t willing to be bullied, ten Bu Shulins wouldn’t be a match for one Cui Jinbai.
For two consecutive days, Cui Jinbai went to the Bu manor only to learn that Bu Shulin was at the Princess’s manor, staying until after dinner before returning. Cui Jinbai understood she was avoiding him. On the third day, as Bu Shulin was having breakfast with Shen Xihe, a runner from the Court of Judicature arrived with official documents.
“Princess, someone has filed a complaint against Young Master Bu at the court. This humble one has been ordered to request Young Master Bu’s presence at the Court of Judicature to assist with the investigation.”
Bu Shulin’s hand froze in mid-air as she was picking up a flatbread.
Shen Xihe suppressed her laughter: “You’d better go. Resisting arrest is a serious crime.”