After New Year’s Day, they officially entered the final sprint phase for end-of-term exams.
With citywide final exams approaching, teachers were going all out distributing and grading test papers.
Zhou Wan was preparing for both the final exams and the March physics test, keeping incredibly busy. She only managed to spare one hour after school each day to tutor Lu Xixiao.
Soon, it was the end of January – time for final exams.
Because she had ranked first in the last monthly test, Zhou Wan’s seat was assigned to the first position in the first examination room.
Lu Xixiao, on the other hand, hadn’t taken the last test at all, so he was assigned to the very last seat in the last examination room.
Usually, the unified exam papers weren’t particularly difficult, but this year was an exception. The difficulty level across all subjects was notably high, especially mathematics. Many students didn’t even have time to look at the last big question before reaching the submission deadline.
After the two days of final exams ended, everyone collapsed in their seats, wailing about how badly they’d done, saying they wouldn’t be able to enjoy the New Year properly and their New Year’s money would be reduced.
Before the winter break officially began, there was still an all-school assembly to attend.
Hundreds of students gathered in the large classroom, entering class by class.
When Class One entered, Class Seven was already seated. Zhou Wan spotted Lu Xixiao sitting in the corner, his eyes half-closed, looking both weary and impatient.
She couldn’t help but smile to herself.
After everyone was seated, the principal went up to speak.
He merely reminded them about various precautions during the winter break, and safety issues, and urged everyone not to forget about studying during the holiday, as there would be a start-of-term exam when school resumed next year.
Amidst a chorus of groans, the principal finally announced the end of the meeting – winter break had begun.
Zhou Wan followed the crowd out of the large classroom when Lu Xixiao suddenly called her name from behind: “Zhou Wan.”
She paused mid-step and turned around.
The surrounding classmates all secretly observed them, whispering among themselves.
The gossip was mainly about how they’d been together for quite a while now and still hadn’t broken up.
Zhou Wan moved to the side to wait for Lu Xixiao: “What is it?”
“Are you free later?”
“Yes, why?”
“It’s Yellow Hair’s birthday. He asked me to invite you along.”
Zhou Wan was startled: “Is that the one from the supermarket…?”
“Mm.” Lu Xixiao said, “Want to go? If not, we don’t have to.”
“Sure.” Zhou Wan smiled. “Should we head there directly later?”
“Mm.”
“Then I’ll go back to the classroom first to sort out my things.”
Lu Xixiao smirked, looking languid as he patted her head: “Take your time, no rush.”
Zhou Wan wasn’t used to such intimate gestures at school. She instinctively stepped back, touching her hair, and said softly: “I’ll go first then.”
“Mm.”
…
The winter holiday homework came in stack after stack, too much to fit in her school bag. Zhou Wan only packed some of it, putting the rest in a paper bag to carry.
She waved goodbye to her friends nearby, exchanging “Happy New Year” and “See you next year” greetings.
Just as she left the classroom, the homeroom teacher suddenly called out: “Zhou Wan, come here for a moment.”
Zhou Wan followed the teacher to a deserted corner of the corridor.
“I reminded you before that this is a crucial period. You need to plan well for your future, and know what’s important and what isn’t.”
Zhou Wan’s heart skipped a beat.
She realized the teacher must have seen her talking with Lu Xixiao earlier.
The teacher continued: “I know you’re a good student, which is why I haven’t particularly restricted you even after hearing those rumors around school. But this winter break is especially important for you. You must focus all your attention on the upcoming national physics competition. If you do well there, your future will be bright.”
The homeroom teacher was an open-minded person.
Knowing that Zhou Wan was conscientious and that it hadn’t affected her studies, she only gave gentle reminders about the matter.
“I understand, Teacher Chen.” Zhou Wan replied earnestly. “I’ll prepare well.”
*
Lu Xixiao stood outside the school gate. Zhou Wan saw him from afar and ran over: “Have you been waiting long?”
“Not long.”
Lu Xixiao took her schoolbag and paper bag, raising an eyebrow, “Is this all homework?”
“Mm.” Zhou Wan asked, “What about yours?”
“Didn’t take it.”
“The winter break is almost a month long. You’ll forget everything if you don’t practice,” Zhou Wan advised.
Lu Xixiao curved his lips, casually saying: “I’ll come back for it in a few days.”
Zhou Wan figured he was probably just making an excuse to avoid her nagging.
“Lu Xixiao, should we buy a gift?” Zhou Wan asked.
“No need to be so formal.”
But Zhou Wan still felt uncomfortable going empty-handed, so when they passed a bakery, she went in to choose a small cake.
Taking the bus to the supermarket, Zhou Wan followed Lu Xixiao inside.
As soon as the roller door was lifted, they smelled the rich hot pot aroma filling the space. They had set up a split pot on an induction cooker.
Seeing her, Yellow Hair stood up and greeted her with a smile: “Little sister’s here?”
This was Zhou Wan’s third time meeting Yellow Hair, and she still didn’t know his real name. Lu Xixiao only called him by his nickname, while he enthusiastically called her “little sister” every time.
Last time he’d mentioned he was three years older than Lu Xixiao, which meant he was also older than her.
Out of politeness, Zhou Wan returned a smile and said: “Happy birthday, big brother.”
Lu Xixiao’s footsteps halted. He turned his head, then reached out to pinch Zhou Wan’s face and pull it, speaking in an unfriendly tone: “What are you calling him?”
Throughout their relationship, Lu Xixiao had rarely gotten angry with her, except for that time when they first got together and someone had tried to hit on Zhou Wan.
His tone was usually either flat or amused.
Hearing this sudden change in his tone, Zhou Wan was stunned for a moment, blinking at him.
Beside them, Yellow Hair was laughing so hard he couldn’t stand straight.
The induction cooker was placed on a folding wooden table that was already unstable. With his hand on the table, as he laughed, it kept shaking, nearly causing the hot pot soup to spill over.
“I’m telling you, Xiao,” Yellow Hair said between fits of laughter and coughs, “Are there people as petty as you?”
Zhou Wan belatedly realized that the “big brother” greeting had annoyed him.
But besides “big brother,” she didn’t know what else to call him.
Yellow Hair tried to smooth things over: “I’m four or five years older than our little sister, what’s wrong with calling me brother? You used to call me brother too when you were younger and better behaved. Ah, those were the days.”
Lu Xixiao shot him a cold look: “Get lost.”
Yellow Hair enjoyed stirring up trouble: “Little sister, look at his nasty temper! Break up with him quick!”
“…”
Zhou Wan felt she hadn’t done anything wrong but had somehow incurred Lu Xixiao’s displaced anger.
She let him continue pinching her face while reaching out to hold his other hand that hung by his side.
Lu Xixiao didn’t pull away, but he didn’t grip back either. His expression remained displeased as he said coldly: “Huang Ping.”
“What?”
“His name.”
So not only did he have yellow hair, he was surnamed Huang.
Zhou Wan understood and obediently corrected her address: “Brother Huang.”
Yellow Hair laughed: “Why does that sound kind of gangster? Not as nice as ‘big brother.'”
Lu Xixiao lowered his eyes to look at her: “I told you to call him by his name.”
“…”
Zhou Wan opened her mouth but still couldn’t bring herself to do it, feeling it would be disrespectful to address him so directly.
She stood on her tiptoes and leaned closer to whisper: “He’s older than me, it’s not polite to use his name.”
“You’re mine, and it’s fine to call other men ‘brother’?”
“…Isn’t it normal to call someone ‘brother’ when they’re older?” Zhou Wan couldn’t help but mumble.
“Exactly, exactly.” Yellow Hair continued to fan the flames, pointing at Lu Xixiao, “Your mind’s in the gutter, and you still dare bully our little sister.”
“…”
Zhou Wan wanted to cover Yellow Hair’s mouth to stop him from talking.
In the end, she would be the one who had to coax Lu Xixiao if he got angry.
Lu Xixiao let out a light snort, ignoring him as he walked over and heavily placed the cake he was carrying on the table: “Eat the cake and shut up.”
Yellow Hair dramatically raised his voice with an “Oh ho”: “This cake must be little sister’s idea, right?”
Zhou Wan said: “We bought it together.”
“Come on, he’s not that thoughtful.” Yellow Hair spoke gravely to Zhou Wan, “Little sister, with men, you can’t let them walk all over you like a soft persimmon. You need to learn some tricks. As the saying goes, tricks are what keeps love alive. You need to act up occasionally to keep him on his toes.”
Zhou Wan thought to herself that Lu Xixiao was already difficult enough – if she started acting up too, they’d probably fight every day.
Lu Xixiao leaned against the chair beside them, arms crossed, coldly watching him corrupt Zhou Wan with his twisted logic.
Zhou Wan didn’t dare voice her thoughts, only curved her eyes in a smile without truly agreeing.
The others came over with hot pot ingredients, all greeting Zhou Wan.
Though they were using their induction cooker for the hot pot, the ingredients were abundant – lamb, beef, shrimp, and all sorts of varieties.
The guys drank beer while Zhou Wan picked a lemon-flavored drink from the supermarket shelves.
The cake that Lu Xixiao had thrown on the table had fallen apart, looking crooked and messy. Zhou Wan managed to cut it into several portions to share with them.
Lu Xixiao had known them for many years, so their conversation was more casual.
Zhou Wan, not being good at socializing, didn’t join their topics of conversation. She just focused on eating the cake. The cream was soft and not too sweet, exactly the texture she liked best, and she quickly finished her portion.
Lu Xixiao, holding a cigarette in one hand, glanced down at her and moved his untouched piece of cake in front of her.
Zhou Wan turned her head, still pressing the plastic fork in her mouth: “You’re not eating?”
Lu Xixiao watched her for a moment before saying: “No, too sweet.”
“This one isn’t very sweet.”
“I don’t like cake in general.”
Zhou Wan scraped some cream into her mouth and said: “I’ll get fat after eating these two pieces.”
“You should put on some weight.”
As he spoke, he leaned slightly forward, close to Zhou Wan’s ear, his hot breath falling on her earlobe, mixed with a faint scent of tobacco and alcohol, unconsciously raising her body temperature by several degrees.
In the crowd, his casual intimate whispers to her seemed especially affectionate.
Zhou Wan’s ears burned hot. Feeling that continuing to talk with him would reveal her feelings, she lowered her head and concentrated on eating the cake.
They stayed until nine in the evening when it was time to close up.
Zhou Wan had eaten so much cake she could barely sit straight.
“Not staying a bit longer?” Yellow Hair asked.
“No,” Lu Xixiao tilted his head toward Zhou Wan. “Need to take her home first.”
*
Walking out of the supermarket, the bone-chilling winter wind hit them head-on. Zhou Wan zipped up her jacket and pulled up her down coat’s hood to cover her ears.
Lu Xixiao looked down and noticed a bit of cream still at the corner of her mouth.
“On your mouth,” he raised his chin to indicate.
“What?”
Lu Xixiao didn’t repeat himself. Instead, he reached out, using the back of his index finger to wipe away that bit of cream from the corner of her mouth.
Then, very naturally, he brought it to his lips and licked it off.
Zhou Wan watched his actions, unconsciously widening her eyes, and then her face rapidly heated up, turning red down to the base of her neck.
Lu Xixiao had done it without thinking.
Although in the past he would never have done something like this, at the moment of doing it, he truly hadn’t thought anything of it.
Seeing Zhou Wan’s reaction, Lu Xixiao smiled: “Such thin skin, and we haven’t even kissed yet.”
Zhou Wan looked away, not picking up his thread of conversation.
Lu Xixiao suddenly bent down, looking into her eyes at close range.
His entire face was flawless, holding up under any angle, and even more heart-stirring the closer he got.
Zhou Wan could hear her own heart thumping loudly.
“We’ve been together for almost two months now.”
As Lu Xixiao spoke, he lifted his index finger to tip her chin up, his gaze falling directly on her lips. “Still won’t let me kiss you, isn’t that a bit stingy?”
“Who gets like that after just two months…”
In Zhou Wan’s eyes, kissing was an extremely intimate thing, just thinking about it made her embarrassed.
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow: “Ask around who hasn’t kissed after two months together.”
Zhou Wan felt she couldn’t move at all, her entire being controlled in his hands, heat rising bit by bit like small flames surrounding her, making even breathing difficult.
Lu Xixiao’s fingers holding her chin also became burning hot, stroking lightly, each touch seeming ambiguous, carrying an intensely invasive feeling.
“Lu Xixiao,” Zhou Wan’s voice trembled slightly, “don’t do this.”
He smiled, pulling at the corner of his mouth: “I’ve noticed you always use my full name when you call me.”
His index finger poked her dimple, speaking deliberately slowly: “Didn’t you say you should call those older than you ‘brother’? I’m older than you too, why are you so impolite with me?”
Zhou Wan explained to him: “We’re in the same grade, it’s just that I started school earlier.”
“Really won’t kiss?” he suddenly asked again, completely righteous about it.
“…”
Lu Xixiao’s gaze was dark and intense, staring straight at her lips like a lion focused on its prey. He drawled lazily: “Call me ‘brother,’ and I won’t kiss you.”
Call him brother.
Suddenly, Guo Xiangling’s words flashed through Zhou Wan’s mind—
Truthfully speaking, you should call him brother.
Zhou Wan, you’re his step-sister! You’re his sister!
Lu Xixiao once had a real sister, but she died. How angry would he be if he knew you were also his sister?
Once you offend him, think about what future you could have.
…
Zhou Wan’s face grew even redder, but this time it wasn’t from shyness, but shame.
She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Lu Xixiao leaned in again, getting even closer to her, half threatening and half teasing: “Call me brother.”
Zhou Wan’s neck stiffened, her mind suddenly in complete chaos.
Looking back from today, her original plan had long since gone awry, one wrong step leading to another. When she told Lu Xixiao “My name is Zhou Wan,” she never imagined it would come to this point.
She was backed into a corner, with young love before her and an abyss behind.
She didn’t want this.
The more Lu Xixiao pressured her, the more she felt she had done wrong.
Completely and utterly wrong.
It was far too late to pull back now.
Suddenly, Zhou Wan lowered her head, her voice barely audible: “I don’t want to.”
That kind of address made her feel shameful and embarrassed, like being nailed to a pillar of shame.
Lu Xixiao didn’t care whether she called him that or not.
Although he didn’t like her calling others that way, Lu Xixiao didn’t have any particular preference about it and was used to Zhou Wan calling him by his full name, which sounded fine to him.
So, he just gave a light laugh and stepped forward, bending down.
Just as he was about to touch her lips, Lu Xixiao caught sight of tears on her face.
He paused his movement and lifted her face.
The young girl was crying silently, tears falling drop by drop, looking as miserable as could be.
“What’s wrong?” Lu Xixiao asked.
Zhou Wan’s voice was choked, as thin as a kitten’s, “Don’t force me like this.”
Lu Xixiao felt he had mostly been teasing her, and it hardly counted as forcing.
Moreover, before they were together, he had said many worse things to Zhou Wan, and at most, she would just blush, never to the point of crying.
But seeing the young girl crying so miserably before him, his mind heated up, and he had no time to investigate the cause and effect.
“I was wrong,” Lu Xixiao cupped her face, his thumbs wiping away her tears. “I won’t do this anymore, okay?”
But the gentler he was, the more upset Zhou Wan felt, the more she felt she was terrible.
She sobbed, her tears falling even harder.
Lu Xixiao didn’t know how to comfort her, having never comforted a girl before.
He simply pulled Zhou Wan into his arms, speaking softly by her ear: “I was a jerk, don’t cry anymore.”
Zhou Wan sniffled, trying hard to control her crying voice, staying in Lu Xixiao’s embrace for a while before coming out.
Lu Xixiao lowered his eyes to observe her expression.
The young girl had cried until her nose and the corners of her eyes were red. After sniffling for a while, she couldn’t help but yawn.
He deliberately tried to make her laugh: “How did you get tired from crying? Want me to carry you home?”
As he spoke, he turned around and crouched in front of Zhou Wan, “Get on.”
“I can walk myself,” Zhou Wan said softly.
Lu Xixiao directly lifted her by the backs of her knees onto his back, bouncing her once, and turned his head to ask: “Carry you home?”
“It’s too far,” Zhou Wan mumbled softly. “Too tiring.”
Lu Xixiao chuckled: “Then do you want to take the bus or a taxi?”
“The bus.”
So he carried Zhou Wan toward the nearby bus stop.
Zhou Wan’s face rested beside his neck, with only the sound of the fierce wind around them.
“Lu Xixiao,” Zhou Wan called his name softly by his ear.
“Mm?”
“I’m sorry.”
She knew Lu Xixiao hated it most when girls cried in front of him, and he hadn’t done anything wrong just now, yet had to bear her emotions for no reason.
“What are you sorry for?”
Zhou Wan paused: “Dating me… is it very boring?”
Being resistant to intimate gestures, having a dull personality, not knowing how to act properly.
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow and laughed: “It’s passable.”
“Will we… separate one day?” Zhou Wan asked softly.
Lu Xixiao wasn’t unfamiliar with such questions from girls. Many girls around him would worry and ask similar questions.
Usually, when a girlfriend asked this, guys would readily promise that of course, they wouldn’t, spouting a bunch of unrealistic promises.
But Lu Xixiao never gave such guarantees.
He couldn’t make promises.
Life was so long, with so many variables, who could see what the future would hold?
The only constant in this world was that — everything was constantly changing.
So even though Lu Xixiao was very clear that his feelings for Zhou Wan were different from all those other girls before, at this moment he still couldn’t give a definite answer.
He smiled lightly: “Don’t know.”
“Then if we separate someday.”
Zhou Wan’s voice was very faint, different from all his previous girlfriends’ reactions to his answer, calm as if she had long anticipated that future day.
This feeling made Lu Xixiao uncomfortably furrow his brow.
“Let’s never contact each other again, okay?” Zhou Wan said.
Never contact again.
I will leave your life from then on.
If I’m lucky, you’ll never know that secret, never be hurt or enraged by it.
Lu Xixiao’s hands supporting Zhou Wan’s knees paused, his brow furrowing even more, but Zhou Wan didn’t see it.
For some reason, her showing such “understanding” and “non-attachment” didn’t make Lu Xixiao feel relieved, but instead made him increasingly irritated.
He lightly ground his teeth, his tone as distant as a stranger’s: “Fine.”