Zhou Wan: “…”
She was a bit startled by Lu Xixiao’s overly direct honesty.
But during the few months they had dated before, Zhou Wan had plenty of experience comforting him.
However, she remembered when they first got together, the first time Lu Xixiao got angry, what he had said―
“Just saying sorry when your boyfriend is angry doesn’t help much, doing something practical works better.”
“What practical things?”
“For example, kiss me, and I’ll forgive you.”
…
With this memory, Zhou Wan couldn’t help but look at Lu Xixiao’s lips.
He had thin lips, appearing cold and detached. Previously, Zhou Wan had heard classmates discussing Lu Xixiao’s appearance, saying his lip shape was the standard “player’s lips.”
But in Zhou Wan’s memory, Lu Xixiao was passionate about kissing.
Their first kiss was on that snowy night. Though everything around them was cold, she only remembered that Lu Xixiao’s body was burning hot.
Her face unconsciously turned red, and she looked away.
But she still wanted to cheer Lu Xixiao up.
After hesitating for a moment, she quickly straightened up and leaned over, her lips forcefully bumping against his cheek.
Lu Xixiao couldn’t help but laugh, licking his lower lip before turning his head: “Why are you shortchanging me?”
Zhou Wan was a bit stunned, her face burning: “Huh?”
“You used to comfort me with more than just the cheek.”
“…”
Zhou Wan shifted her gaze, feeling the air in the car had become too thin to breathe. She rolled down the window and awkwardly said, “Well… we’re not together yet.”
Lu Xixiao laughed: “So you can kiss cheeks even when we’re not together?”
“…”
“Zhou Wan, I didn’t know you were such a player.”
“…”
Zhou Wan simply stopped responding to him.
With Lu Xixiao, the more you engaged with him, the more he would push his luck.
Back home, there were still ingredients from last time in the fridge. Zhou Wan took out a tray of frozen chicken wings, planning to fry them for dinner.
Lu Xixiao took them from her hands, filled a basin with water, and put the chicken wings into thaw.
“I’ll do it,” Zhou Wan said.
Lu Xixiao took her hand, looking at her wrist again, slightly furrowing his brows.
He hadn’t controlled his strength earlier, and it had gotten slightly abraded.
“Does it hurt?”
Zhou Wan shook her head.
Lu Xixiao’s thumb gently rubbed over it, then he turned and pulled out a medicine box, tore open a bandage, and carefully placed it over the abraded area.
It was just a small scrape, not even bleeding, and didn’t hurt at all. There was no need for a bandage.
Zhou Wan looked at his serious expression, feeling somewhat amused: “It doesn’t hurt at all.”
Her life hadn’t been very smooth since childhood, and she hadn’t lived delicately, never paying attention to minor bumps and scrapes.
“Why didn’t you say anything when I bit you too hard.”
As soon as he said this, Lu Xixiao felt he was being quite hypocritical, and pressed his lips together.
Zhou Wan answered with a slight smile: “I didn’t think to mention it.”
“…”
Lu Xixiao stopped letting her touch the counter, simply chasing her out of the kitchen.
It was really just a scrape, yet here he was with bandages and not letting her do anything―it seemed quite excessive.
Zhou Wan sat on the sofa, watching Lu Xixiao’s back in the kitchen.
She couldn’t help but smile, but after a while, she thought of something and her smile dropped.
Since her father passed away, she never dared to act spoiled with anyone again.
When she was young, every time she had her period, her stomach would hurt terribly. Her grandmother’s health was poor so she didn’t dare tell her, and Guo Xiangling had already left by then.
At that time, her relationship with Guo Xiangling wasn’t as strained. Initially, Zhou Wan tried to understand her, knowing her life wasn’t easy either, and that leaving home was the only way she could live the life she wanted.
During their occasional phone calls, she would still call her “Mom.”
Later, one night she got her period, and because she had just eaten cold crab, the pain was particularly severe. She was drenched in sweat, her pajamas soaked through, her lips pale, her internal organs feeling like they were being twisted inside out.
She had no choice but to call Guo Xiangling.
It was very late, and Guo Xiangling hung up on the first call.
But Zhou Wan was in too much pain, really couldn’t hold on, afraid she might pass out from the pain, so she called again.
Fortunately, this time Guo Xiangling answered.
“Mom,” Zhou Wan’s voice trembled with pain.
“Mm, Wan-wan.” Guo Xiangling’s voice was drowsy, “What is it at this hour?”
“My stomach hurts, menstrual cramps, it hurts.”
Zhou Wan was in so much pain that physiological tears kept falling, barely conscious, feeling like she was going to die. She stammered, “Mom, please help me, I’m really in so much pain, Mom, please… come see me, okay?”
And what did Guo Xiangling say then?
She said:
Wan-wan, you’re being too willful.
Wan-wan, be more obedient, more sensible.
Wan-wan, think about mom too, mom’s life isn’t easy either, it’s so late and you’re using this kind of excuse to make mom come find you, still causing trouble for mom.
…
That night, Zhou Wan was in pain until she was barely conscious, but she managed to endure it.
After that, she never ate crab again and got used to enduring everything by herself.
She didn’t want to trouble others.
She didn’t want to be seen as a burden.
*
Lu Xixiao hadn’t cooked for a long time, but he used to cook often during those years abroad, so he wasn’t too rusty.
He brought the dishes to the table and called Zhou Wan to eat.
In the middle was a plate of steamed crab. Zhou Wan suddenly felt dazed, blinked, and then returned to normal: “Lu Xixiao.”
“Mm?”
“When did you buy these crabs?”
“Someone gave them to me this morning.” He picked out the best crab, cracked open the shell, and placed it in front of Zhou Wan.
His fingers were bony and long, stained with crab roe, as he efficiently cleaned the crab. The middle was full of crab roe and paste, which he split in half and placed in front of Zhou Wan.
Zhou Wan stared at it steadily, picked up the crab shell, ate for a while, and then said softly: “I haven’t eaten crab for a long time.”
“Don’t like it?”
“No, I quite like it, but when I was in seventh grade, I ate crab once and because it’s cooling in nature, I had really bad menstrual cramps, so I didn’t dare eat it again.”
Lu Xixiao frowned slightly, then thought: “Isn’t your period at the end of the month?”
Zhou Wan paused, then nodded.
“Then it’s fine, it’s still early. Just don’t eat too much.”
Zhou Wan froze in place, she looked up at Lu Xixiao, her expression somewhat focused.
He smiled: “What is it?”
“Lu Xixiao, do you find me very troublesome?”
“Mm?” He raised an eyebrow, casually asking, “Like what?”
“Like you having to take care of me, and cook dinner for me when you’re already tired from work.”
“Didn’t you cook for me before? Besides, I’m the one who bit your hand, so this is―me making amends.”
“…”
Oh, right.
He was the one who bit her hand.
Zhou Wan nodded to herself, took a bite of crab meat, and then thought of something else: “And you have to shell the crab for me too.”
Lu Xixiao smiled.
His originally sharp features and contours softened under his smile and the warm lighting. Zhou Wan saw her reflection in his pitch-black pupils.
In the smile, her silhouette became blurred, appearing small.
Like seeing the little Zhou Wan from before.
“I like it when you trouble me.”
Lu Xixiao paused, then said, “Remember that little student I sponsored?”
“Mm.”
“I’m not someone who easily overflows with compassion. I chose to sponsor her because I saw something of your childhood self in her.” Zhou Wan was stunned.
“That time we went there, she told me she didn’t want to study anymore, didn’t want to stay at home and continue being a burden to her grandmother. She felt she was a package, a burden. She thought her father died because he worked too hard for her sake, and that she was the reason her grandmother was left alone and helpless.”
“…”
“At that time, I thought, if only I had met you earlier.”
Lu Xixiao gazed at her quietly, holding her hand, his voice soft: “Then I could have told that helpless little Zhou Wan, don’t be afraid, don’t rush, I’ll stay by your side, I’ll grow up together with you.”
We’ll face obstacles and changes together.
At least in my eyes, you will never be a burden.
Because you are the destination I’ll chase for my entire life.
*
After dinner, Zhou Wan still had some news articles to write, so after showering, she sat on the sofa with her laptop typing―this was the laptop she had won in that lottery before.
Lu Xixiao sat beside her handling emails when suddenly his phone vibrated.
It was a message from Jiang Fan.
In the first two years after high school graduation, he and Jiang Fan would occasionally still keep in touch, but they had barely contacted each other in recent years.
Jiang Fan said he was getting married at the end of the month and asked if he had time to attend.
Lu Xixiao showed the message to Zhou Wan.
“He’s getting married!” After Zhou Wan’s phone was stolen, she lost all her old friends’ contact information.
“Mm, want to go?”
“Me too?”
“Come with me.”
Zhou Wan hesitated.
Then the next second, Lu Xixiao’s phone vibrated again.
[Jiang Fan: Don’t come alone, bring your girlfriend too.]
Zhou Wan: “…”
After a pause, she nodded: “Okay.”
She hadn’t seen those old friends for a long time, and Jiang Fan was probably Lu Xixiao’s best friend from high school.
“How’s Jiang Fan been?”
“He went to a local university, and now works in Pingchuan City.”
Zhou Wan nodded, her thoughts returning to the matter with Jiang Yan earlier. She took the initiative: “If there’s any more work related to Jiang Yan in the future, I’ll tell my supervisor to let someone else handle it.”
Lu Xixiao smiled: “I don’t like him much, but I’ve never considered him worth my attention, so there’s no need to deliberately avoid him. If it’s work, then go.”
“However.” He paused, narrowed his eyes slightly, and lightly pinched Zhou Wan’s wrist, “Spend less time alone with him.”
Zhou Wan obediently nodded: “I understand.”
*
A few days later, there was to be a special symposium regarding Jiang Yan’s discovery that won the highest physics award, with exclusive media coverage by invitation.
Probably because of Zhou Wan’s connection, their news agency received an invitation.
Although Lu Xixiao had told her there was no need to deliberately avoid work, Zhou Wan disliked those unclear, entangled relationships, so she still asked her editor to leave and didn’t continue with this project.
At the end of this month, she would be going to Pingchuan with Lu Xixiao for Jiang Fan’s wedding, so she requested leave for that at the same time.
The editor-in-chief looked at the calendar and approved: “Fine, we just hired two new interns, and it should be quite free at the end of the month, so go ahead.”
Having free time in the afternoon, Zhou Wan went shopping casually, planning to buy a wedding gift for Jiang Fan.
After wandering around aimlessly for a while, she thought to ask Lu Xixiao.
[Zhou Wan: Do you know what Jiang Fan likes? I’m buying his wedding gift.]
Lu Xixiao didn’t reply.
He was probably busy.
So Zhou Wan switched to searching for popular wedding gifts online. Those traditional bright red gifts would just end up unused, which wasn’t interesting.
Zhou Wan looked around and finally bought an aromatherapy diffuser and a wax melting lamp, simple and elegant, suitable for the bedroom―not too flashy but also not inappropriate as a gift.
…
At this time, Lu Xixiao was at Jiang Yan’s symposium. His discovery, when applied to practical technology, could bring leapfrog development to the company’s autonomous driving field.
Many industry leaders had come to this symposium, hoping to acquire his patent technology.
Jiang Yan stood at the front in a shirt and suit, neither humble nor arrogant, speaking eloquently.
He had indeed gained quite a lot of capability over these years.
Lu Xixiao sat below, with his secretary beside him asking if he wanted to go talk afterward.
Everyone who came wanted to get that patent technology from Jiang Yan.
“No need.”
Lu Xixiao said he knew that although Jiang Yan was utilitarian and not aloof, he was narrow-minded―no matter how high a price he offered, it would be impossible to buy that technology.
“After it’s over, go find out who else collaborated with him on this experiment.”
“Okay.”
The symposium ended.
Nobody left immediately, all gathering around Jiang Yan, except for Lu Xixiao who turned to leave.
He walked to the hall, took out his phone, and saw Zhou Wan’s earlier messages.
One asked what Jiang Fan liked.
Another was a picture, an elegantly packaged box―apparently, she had already chosen something.
[Lu Xixiao: Just had a meeting]
[Lu Xixiao: Off work yet?]
[Zhou Wan: I took the afternoon off, heading home now, are you working overtime?]
[Lu Xixiao: No overtime, heading back soon too.]
[Zhou Wan: Good, what do you want for dinner?]
Lu Xixiao couldn’t help but smile, sending a voice message: “Don’t cook, I’ll do it when I get back.”
Zhou Wan ignored him, listing several dishes on her own, asking if making these for dinner would be okay.
Short videos are popular nowadays. Lu Xixiao didn’t like watching these, but through others’ videos playing around him, he knew that many couples would make short videos, mostly showing how the boyfriend pampers the girlfriend.
With Zhou Wan, it was the opposite―he had become the pampered one.
Putting his phone back in his pocket, Lu Xixiao took out a cigarette and put it between his teeth. Just as he was about to take out his lighter, a hand reached out from the side―Jiang Yan with a lighter.
Lu Xixiao glanced at him, casually lowered his neck, cupped the flame with one hand, and lit the cigarette.
He exhaled smoke, turning his head: “Something?”
“Things were too rushed the other day, didn’t get a chance to apologize.”
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow.
“It must be almost seven years now. That incident seven years ago, I wronged you.”
When a person is deeply mired in despair, they can only cling desperately to their pride to survive, becoming stubborn and rigid. Even knowing their own mistakes, they cannot face them honestly, insisting on twisting right and wrong.
But when they stand at the heights, gaining the right to look down upon all creation, they gain the right to be wrong. Then they can face their mistakes calmly because it doesn’t matter anymore―just a casual “sorry” is enough, as if they can become that perfect person who never did anything wrong.
This is the evil of human nature.
And it’s what makes Zhou Wan precious.
Lu Xixiao laughed lightly, not bothering to argue, and mockingly said: “How impressive that you remember for so long.”
Today Jiang Yan was being praised to the skies by everyone, so he didn’t mind the sarcasm.
“I didn’t expect you could still be with Zhou Wan. Back then when she hid her relationship with you from her mother, I thought with your pride, you definitely wouldn’t look back.”
Jiang Yan smiled, “Unexpected that you could lower your head, swallow that knee-bending from back then.”
This kind of talk couldn’t hit Lu Xixiao’s weak spot.
His expression didn’t even change as he leisurely exhaled smoke, his voice carrying a hint of amusement: “You’re talking like you’re my brother, but do you know me that well?”
He lightly tapped off the ash, his narrow eyes sweeping over Jiang Yan.
Although today he was the center of attention, Lu Xixiao’s eyes held contempt and defiance. Jiang Yan couldn’t find any sense of victory over him.
“So what if I knelt? Did I lose a piece of flesh?” he said carelessly, “Better than you liking her for so many years without saying a word, not even able to save her.”
Jiang Yan’s smile finally froze.
But Lu Xixiao couldn’t be bothered to appreciate his expression now, turning to leave.
“Lu Xixiao!” he suddenly called out.
He stopped but didn’t turn around.
Jiang Yan gave a cold laugh: “You think Zhou Wan likes you?”
He narrowed his eyes, closely watching every bit of Lu Xixiao’s reaction, “You should understand her better than me―whoever is good to her, she’ll return it many times over, that’s just her personality. Her treatment of you is just because she feels indebted, and wants to make amends―from beginning to end, she never really liked you.”
Lu Xixiao turned back, the evening sun slanting in.
“I thought you had gained some capability.” He looked at Jiang Yan, his expression mocking, “But now I see, you’re still the same as before.”