In the darkness, all senses became incredibly acute.
Yining tried to struggle free from beneath Shenyuan, but he pressed her down again. “Answer me,” he demanded.
Yining tilted her head back slightly. Remember him? How could she forget! But her body was failing her.
Sensing this, Shenyuan quickly wrapped an arm around her waist, rescuing her from the brink of collapse. She fell against him.
By now, her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and she could make out their faces.
Yining noticed changes in him since a year ago. His handsome face had become more defined, his sideburns sharp as a blade. The Minister now exuded the power that came with his position. But Yining didn’t dwell on these details. Being so close, she noticed a faint gleam on his lips. “You seem to have lost weight,” she remarked.
“And you’ve gained some,” Shenyuan replied coolly.
Indeed, she had filled it out. As she lay against him, her softness pressed against his body. There was a faint milky scent about her, likely from nursing. Confined in his embrace, the scent stirred a heat in his lower abdomen. The long separation only intensified the feeling. If not for his immense self-control, he wouldn’t have been able to speak calmly with her.
Yining fell silent for a moment, then asked, “Third Brother, how have you been this past year? Have you found someone else you like?” She continued, “I know you’ve joined the cabinet as a minister. Since I disappeared without explanation, you must have been without someone to care for you.”
Shenyuan was quiet for a moment before slowly responding with a smile, “I did meet a few. There was a Miss Ge, virtuous and accomplished in both talent and beauty. She was deeply in love with me, always gazing at me longingly when we met. I was considering how to respond to her feelings without disappointing her devotion.”
As Yining listened, she felt increasingly distressed. She remembered what the Second Miss He had said about him being close to Miss Ge. Indeed, he had always been popular with women, who pursued him relentlessly. He had even used this to his advantage before! Her nose tingled with emotion as she forced a smile. “If Miss Ge is so accomplished, I surely can’t compare. Why don’t you declare me dead and marry her as your second wife? Miss Ge admires you; she’s sure to agree. Don’t worry about me making a fuss. If you’ve found someone better, I won’t be unreasonable.”
She tried to push him away and leave, but Shenyuan pulled her back, gripping her shoulders as he sneered, “How generous of you. Not making a fuss? Isn’t this exactly what you want, so you can stay with the child and be with Lu Jiaxue?”
Yining was shocked by the sharpness in his tone. Trembling slightly, she whispered, “Luo Shenyuan!”
Shenyuan drew closer to her. “You ran when you saw me today. If I hadn’t caught sight of you, were you planning to avoid me forever? Hm?”
Yining’s voice hardened. “In the year I was gone, you acted as if I didn’t exist. You rose in rank, joined the cabinet, and had a beauty by your side. How could I approach you? Father was wounded in battle at the border, and I cared for him for months. Lu Jiaxue disappeared on the grasslands, and Father’s hatred for you grew as he couldn’t find him. How could I face you?”
“Wei Ling hates me?” Shenyuan’s lips curled into a smile at this. “Did he guess that I sold firearms to the Oirat?”
How did he know?
“Those firearms were faulty,” Shenyuan explained, relaxing slightly as he realized Yining hadn’t avoided him because of Lu Jiaxue. He pondered, “What kind of person do you think I am? If I had truly betrayed the country, how could Wei Ling still be alive? I would have eliminated everyone involved. The firearms sold to the Oirat were specially made to explode if not handled carefully… Otherwise, why would the Oirat be so docile now? They wouldn’t dare to move even during the winter break if it were just that.”
Yining finally understood as he explained. She had overlooked this point. If Wei Ling could see through it, how could Shenyuan not have noticed? Moreover, given his current position, what benefit would betraying the country bring him?
Of course, she felt Shenyuan must be withholding some information, certainly concealing something.
But at least the border incident wasn’t his doing. It was good that he hadn’t betrayed the country!
Shenyuan released her and went to light a candle, filling the room with a soft yellow glow. He placed the candlestick on the table and said quietly, “Yining, come here.”
Yining hesitated, and he looked at her again. “Come here.”
Reluctantly, Yining walked to him, staring at the jade pendant at his waist. He spoke calmly, “During the year you were gone, you thought I acted as if you didn’t exist. That’s because I didn’t dare to think about you. My Jinyiwei searched the length and breadth of the country but always missed you. At first, I just constantly thought of you, but as time passed, I grew increasingly agitated…”
He moved closer, wrapping an arm around her waist and lifting her slightly to lean against the bed. “Luo Yining, you’ve never believed that others could love you deeply, have you?” He continued, “You lack confidence, fearing abandonment. So at the first sign of it, you’re ready to run… It’s not obvious on the surface, after all, you’re the daughter of the Duke of Ying, and I’ve doted on you since childhood. How could you be like this? Why are you like this?”
This vulnerable secret was laid bare before him, exposing Yining’s most hidden insecurities. Without any shield, it felt so direct, each word striking at her core.
Yining took a deep breath, closing her eyes before opening them again. “Please stop…” she said, clearly flustered.
“Why should I stop? Now I’m telling you everything completely. You don’t need to worry anymore…” Shenyuan gently stroked her hair. “Just don’t worry, and please don’t be afraid of me in the future.”
Yining couldn’t help but look up at him. “You…”
He leaned close to her ear and said, “Do you know what I’ve done for you all these years? Let me tell you, bit by bit.”
Yining listened to his measured voice: “Back then at the Luo family, I had Songzhi watch over you… From that time on, I wanted to keep you completely in my sight, no matter the method.”
“When Lin Mao proposed to you, I was jealous and had him transferred to Shandong. Then Cheng Lang interfered, so I instigated Xie Yun to approach Lian Fu, using him to eliminate the threat. Do you think our marriage was an accident? It was all my careful planning.”
Yining’s eyes widened gradually. This gradual revelation of truth left her speechless.
All of this… was his calculation?
“After you disappeared, I was consumed with the idea of capturing you and keeping you confined. That way, I wouldn’t fear losing you again. I don’t like you looking at others; I want you to only look at me. I’m jealous of any excessive attention you give to anyone else, I can’t control it. Only when you’re by my side can I not be like this.”
In fact, after the long wait, Shenyuan felt that even with Yining beside him, he couldn’t quite control himself anymore. His heart was no longer at peace, like a startled bird. He always felt that some accident might take her away from him.
Yining was shocked for a long time. She even felt that the person before her, with his slightly furrowed brow and deep gaze tinged with inexplicable emotion, wasn’t her Third Brother. But his words truly moved her.
“So don’t be afraid,” he said slowly, caressing her face, his words carrying a double meaning.
Yining felt enveloped by something warm and gentle. Though it made her palms tingle with nervousness, it also made her feel incredibly safe.
“I won’t be afraid,” Yining said softly, lightly gripping his hand.
He quickly patted her head. Now that she said this, she would know if she truly became afraid in the future. Shenyuan smiled faintly, “Yining, come back with me. That child…” His lips tightened slightly. “I hope you can send it back to the Lu family.”
“That child…” Yining immediately realized he had misunderstood, thinking the child was Lu Jiaxue’s!
His eyes narrowed. “If you want to raise it yourself, I can reluctantly accept that. But it’s best not to. It’s better to send it back.”
Hearing this, Yining suddenly didn’t want to say anything. After all, he would understand when he saw the child tomorrow. Let him talk! He even wanted to send the child back to Lu Jiaxue. Fine, let’s see if he still wants to send it back tomorrow!
They fell silent for a moment, and Yining suddenly didn’t know what to say to him. She could only ask, “Are you going to sleep? Should I call for the maid to bring water?”
“No rush for water…” Shenyuan said with a chuckle. Yining was about to ask what else he needed when he suddenly lowered her onto the bed, following her down.
She understood his intention and realized what was about to happen. Her blood began to heat up, realizing that all those words were meant to deepen their emotions. She felt a bit stiff, unsure whether to assist him or just lie still.
His strong, powerful arms supported him on either side of her, but he just looked at her without moving. Yining found it strange, but then realized he wasn’t looking at her face. He then used one large hand to pin her wrist while the other rested on her waist. Why did his touch bring such a tingling sensation? Perhaps her waist was too sensitive.
Otherwise, why would she start trembling at his touch?
Shenyuan had already undone her clothes. The candle he had lit earlier allowed him to see how much she had changed over the year. The little girl had grown up, but her skin was still incredibly smooth to the touch.
“What’s there to look at?” She tried to move, feeling cold despite the floor heating. Moreover, being looked at by Shenyuan like this made her feel increasingly hot. His eyes were burning, and so was she. The fire in his gaze threatened to consume her.
“It’s not good to look…” he said, kissing her ear. Then he lifted her into his arms.
Although she had grown taller and softer, when sitting in his embrace, Yining was still much smaller than him. He held his little wife, her slender waist burning hot against him, his muscular arms making her weak at the touch. Yining leaned against his chest and let out a soft breath, timidly responding. Though not bold, she placed gentle kisses along his jawline.
It wasn’t just Shenyuan who had missed her; she had missed him too!
This made his body tremble, his breathing suddenly much heavier. Then, silently, he lifted her to test their compatibility. But before she could adjust, he suddenly entered. Yining furrowed her brow, asking him to stop for a moment as she tried to accommodate him. Unfortunately, she only tightened more, and he, stimulated by this, broke out in a fine sweat, finding it increasingly difficult. He asked her softly, “Is it better now?”
Yining replied, “Not yet, wait a bit longer.” She tried to change positions.
Supporting herself on his thighs to shift, she unknowingly stirred up a hornet’s nest. In a moment of carelessness, he fully entered her. Shenyuan lowered his head to kiss her. “You’re still quite capable.” She had pushed him to this point. Then, without waiting for her to adjust further, he began to move.
This was completely out of Yining’s control now. Perhaps due to having given birth, although still difficult, it was no longer painful. Instead, it became increasingly pleasurable. Like waves building higher and higher, Yining looked at his sweaty face, gently touching it. His chin was slightly rough, and he had indeed lost weight. Was it, as he said, because he had been pining for her?
Shenyuan’s breathing deepened at her touch, his voice low and husky with desire. He said, “Meimei, get up and hold on to me.”
Then, in a final intense moment, it ended. Yining held his familiar, sweaty body, breathing lightly as she waited for her heart to calm. She had just experienced a moment of blank ecstasy. Leaning on his shoulder, she lazily waited for Third Brother to lift her.
However, Shenyuan noticed something on the bed.
A dark string of beads with a small golden Buddhist inscription.
He recognized this object. It was the Buddhist prayer beads that Lu Jiaxue always carried, rarely seen without them. They must have slipped out of Yining’s sleeve earlier.
How could he not be concerned about this? He stared at it for a long time, his gaze gradually darkening.
Feeling Yining trying to get up on her own, he kissed the corner of her mouth and said, “Don’t rush to get up.”
Again? If they called for water, Grandmother would surely know by tomorrow! Yining looked at him. “This isn’t appropriate, after all, we’re in the Duke’s mansion.”
“Grandmother has tacitly agreed,” Shenyuan said. He added, “Do you know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder?”
He was at his physical prime, yet they had been apart for a year. Yining could feel that the part of him that had just stirred up a storm was truly energetic again, making her legs weak. Once or twice was fine, but judging by his demeanor, she feared she wouldn’t be able to walk properly the next day.
Shenyuan pressed her down again. The second time was even longer than the first. Towards the end, she begged for mercy as usual, and he, as usual, couldn’t control himself. The Minister had indeed missed his wife dearly. After the third time, he finally managed to restrain himself from continuing, so Yining could rest only in the early hours of the morning. The Minister personally carried her for a bath and then back to bed to sleep.
Yining woke up leaning against his chest, inhaling his clean, familiar scent, feeling his familiar jawline. Hearing the sound of snow falling outside and the servants sweeping it away, she shook the shoulder of the man beside her. “Third Brother, it’s snowing outside.”
“Mm, I know,” he opened his eyes, his expression calm.
So he hadn’t been asleep at all.
Yining lay there again, feeling content. One of his hands was still resting on her side as if it had never moved.
Yining thought that her son would soon come looking for her. She tried to sit up, but her thighs were so sore she could barely move.
“Can’t get up?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Need my help?”
“No need,” Yining replied. She put on a lake-blue jacket with twining branch patterns, brushed her hair to one side, and picked up a pair of earrings she had removed the night before. She hadn’t had time to properly groom herself last night. She tried to put on the earrings with one hand. The snow’s light made her fingertips appear translucent, and fine down was visible on her ear.
She struggled to put them on alone but didn’t ask for his help.
Shenyuan sat up behind her, took the earrings, and put them on for her. Before Yining could react, he said softly, “Done.”
Yining’s ear tingled slightly, and Shenyuan had already let go of her and started to get dressed. As he dressed, he said, “I have a court session soon. You get ready. I’ll take you home after. Mother misses you very much. Father has been transferred to Hejian Prefecture as the prefect. Luo Yiling has already married, and Nan’er is almost three. There have been many changes at home, you should go back and see for yourself.”
“Luo Yiling is married?” Yining frowned, surprised that she had been willing to marry. Of course, she was curious. “Who did she marry?”
“She became the second wife of a rich merchant who deals in tea. His family is from Suzhou,” Shenyuan said. “She’ll be visiting her maiden home tomorrow. You’ll see then.”
Yining touched her wrist and realized the string of Buddhist beads was missing. She found them on the bed, picked them up, and put them in her sleeve.
The cold wooden beads pressed against her skin.
She wondered how Lu Jiaxue was doing, and if her father had found him. If he was found, the beads should be returned to their original owner. Buddhist beads were believed to have spiritual power and protect their owner.
Over the many years since her death, Lu Jiaxue had returned safely from numerous battles and had been promoted. He would likely come back this time too. Lu Jiaxue was a resilient person with a strong sense of the bigger picture; the harsher the environment, the more tenaciously he survived. Someone like him wouldn’t let himself die before others. This was Yi Ning’s detached understanding of love, knowing each other for many years.
Suddenly, the sound of a child crying rang out from outside, growing closer and more heartrending.
The wet nurse knocked on the door urgently. “Madam, the young master insists on seeing you. I couldn’t calm him down…”
Yi Ning composed herself and said, “Bring him in quickly.”
The wet nurse brought in Bao Ge’er, dressed in a small red jacket and hat. As soon as he saw his mother, he lunged toward her. Yi Ning took him into her arms. He continued to sob, his little hands clinging tightly to her arm. The little bundle refused to let go, sticking to her.
As expected, he was just a child.
Luo Shen Yuan fastened the collar of his court attire and glanced briefly at the child’s back. Hearing Bao Ge’er’s clear, childish cries and seeing her holding him so, he frowned.
Da San, with a stern face, pretended not to notice, while Xiao Xiao San, who looked exactly like him, cried miserably. They ignored each other, neither recognizing the other—father and son, indeed an interesting sight.
“Third Brother, won’t you hold Bao Ge’er?” Yi Ning patted Bao Ge’er’s back soothingly and then said, “Bao Ge’er is so adorable; everyone loves to dote on him. You should hold him for a while.”