He never imagined there would come a day when he would regret his past actions.
He regretted involving her, stirring her emotions. Even if she would still have chosen him, he should have restrained himself, letting her remain that calm, composed woman who viewed the world with unwavering focus.
“Youyou, I’m sorry…” Though regretful, he knew that even if time turned back, even knowing today’s outcome, he still wouldn’t be able to resist drawing closer to her step by step, gradually occupying her heart.
Shen Xihe gently shook her head, gazing absently at the reviving Pingzhong leaf bonsai in the distance: “Beichen, in your heart, I shouldn’t be seen as a fragile, timid woman who can’t bear separation and death. Life offers many ways to live, each with its splendor.
You needn’t regret or feel guilty. From the day I married you, I understood what might come. I never wished ill for you, but I also never naively imagined everything would go as I wished.
I knew there might come a day of separation or death, yet I still followed my heart toward you, never deliberately suppressing it, never intentionally avoiding it. Because while living, I refuse to force myself. If I hadn’t wanted this, all your efforts couldn’t have moved my heart even slightly.
Speaking of which, we probably had a destined connection. Since it was fate, whether deep or shallow, it was unavoidable. Why trouble ourselves? Why regret what can’t be reversed, or worry about an unpredictable future?
Whether you have decades left to live, just eight months, or if your time ends tomorrow or the next moment – what does it matter? Isn’t it good to cherish each moment we can be together?
For you entering my unplanned life, I only feel joy.
All emotions – joy, anger, sorrow, happiness – are because of you, enough to savor for a lifetime.”
Shen Xihe was someone who saw through life. She never believed possession should only bring abundance and joy. Whether people, things, or paths – once you choose to accept and begin, you should welcome both joy and sorrow with equal grace.
Smile when flowers bloom brilliantly; remain composed when facing thorns.
This was Shen Xihe’s way of living.
The previously dejected and worried Xiao Huayong, hearing Shen Xihe’s words, suddenly felt his perspective was narrow compared to hers. That lingering sadness dispersed before her openness and acceptance, instantly clearing his mind.
Though she would be the one bearing the pain of losing a spouse, she was comforting him instead. Xiao Huayong embraced her, casting aside those futile, chaotic emotions, becoming calm and gentle as he held her: “Shall we follow heaven’s will?”
“Heaven’s will?” Shen Xihe asked, puzzled.
“One month – it’s already difficult for me to help you conceive. This month we won’t avoid it, and we’ll see if fate grants us a child. If not, in two months we’ll announce that you’re three months pregnant.” Xiao Huayong compromised.
Delaying his departure by a month or two wouldn’t greatly affect him. He still hoped to accompany her through her most difficult time when she needed him most.
Shen Xihe remained silent for so long that Xiao Huayong’s heart grew anxious. Finally, she softly replied: “Alright.”
She wanted to be willful once, but not reckless – after all, she carried more than just Xiao Huayong’s affection.
Let fate decide.
Some, like Bu Shulin and Cui Jinbai, could conceive from a single night of passion. Others remained childless despite a lifetime of marriage.
Shen Xihe sent Zhenzhu to find Xie Yunhuai. With Baitou Weng’s letters shared between them and their half-master-disciple relationship, Xie Yunhuai understood the strange poison in Xiao Huayong’s body best. She wanted to conceive, so perhaps there were ways to regulate or control the poison, increasing their chances.
Xie Yunhuai held nothing back, sharing all viable methods through Zhenzhu, who relayed them to Shen Xihe.
Following Xie Yunhuai’s instructions meticulously in every aspect of daily life, Shen Xihe strictly required Xiao Huayong’s cooperation.
After several days, Sui Axi came to report: “Your Highness, the person you requested has been altered, but…”
Shen Xihe, lounging lazily on her beauty rest after last night’s passionate encounter with Xiao Huayong, gazed at the pond dreamily. It took her a moment to process Sui Axi’s words before she quickly straightened up: “But what?”
“Young Master Bu’s voice is unique. Though we’ve discussed and trained with the ventriloquist master sent by His Highness the Crown Prince, this person simply has no talent for it…” Sui Axi was deeply troubled.
Unlike Lu Bing, the first bone-altered person sent to Xiao Changfeng’s side – who was originally a wandering knight and rarely encountered past acquaintances – Bu Shulin grew up in the capital. Though Sui Axi had successfully altered the person’s appearance, their voice would instantly give them away.
“Bring the person to me first…” Shen Xihe commanded, then turned to Biyu, “And invite Young Master Bu as well.”
Since learning of Cui Jinbai’s recovery from poisoning, Bu Shulin hadn’t visited the Cui residence, unable to face her. Cui Jinbai still hadn’t been told about her pregnancy, and with one arm still paralyzed during recovery, hadn’t left the residence.
Though Cui Jinbai had sent servants to find Bu Shulin several times, they were all turned away.
These days, Bu Shulin had been hesitant and confused. When Biyu came with the summons, she immediately entered the palace.
Sui Axi’s person arrived before Shen Xihe first, so when Bu Shulin entered the room, she froze at the doorway.
The person before her, identical in appearance and build, shocked her for a long while before she rushed over like a whirlwind, pinching and touching them to confirm it wasn’t a disguise. Amazed, she exclaimed: “Youyou, where did you find this person? Could my father have an illegitimate child? Or perhaps my mother bore twins… No, that’s not right, if so, they would have kept the male…”
Speaking thus, Bu Shulin, momentarily forgetting her female identity, reached toward the person’s private area to verify their gender, frightening them into quickly retreating with a bow: “Young Master…”
“Alin!” Shen Xihe couldn’t bear to watch and sharply rebuked her.
Bu Shulin finally came to her senses, giving Shen Xihe a sheepish smile. She had grown too accustomed to fooling around with Ding Zhi’s group, momentarily losing her propriety.
However, looking at this person identical to herself, after hearing their voice, her initial shock subsided – their voices were completely different.